Intimacy: Today, I got hypnotized at my school's variety show. Apparently,...

By OhGeez - 08/06/2009 19:41 - Canada

Today, I got hypnotized at my school's variety show. Apparently, when asked to do something I enjoy doing, I began to violently hump the floor. FML

agreeclassic 92 062

vote type 1 22 743

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By auto boogie man - 19/11/2015 16:44 - United States - New York

Today, at school, I was asked to play a complex piano piece in front of my class, teachers and guests. I nailed it, but what stood out most for everyone was how I apparently looked like I was being possessed while performing. FML

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By skyhawk13 - 30/10/2009 05:11 - United States

Today, at my school's Midnight Madness, I was selected to show my school spirit in a contest. Being drunk, I decided to hump the school mascot in front of 300 people. FML

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By Embarrassing - 26/06/2021 13:59 - Canada

Today, I was hypnotized and talked into telling everyone truths about myself at a show my family and I went to. I don't know what I said. All I know is that my family laughs whenever I'm near them. They won't tell me what happened. FML

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By Anonymous - 04/04/2014 17:26 - Dominican Republic - Santo Domingo

Today, I was feeling adventurous and decided to freeball it to school. As I went to sit down during first class, I managed to sit on my own balls, scream, then collapse on the floor gasping. My teacher thought I was screwing around and gave me detention. FML

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By lifesucks - 24/02/2009 19:21 - United States

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By Anonymous - 21/03/2009 03:10 - United States

Today, I got hypnotized in front of my entire school. Once I was hypnotized the guy told me that the hottest celebrity in the world was in the audience and then he told me to point out who I saw. I said I saw Mick Jagger. I'm a guy. FML

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Dozing off

By Math_Rocker - 02/09/2009 22:17 - United States

Today, I fell asleep in class. Usually, people just sit still when asleep. Nope, not me. Not only had I been violently rocking and nodding my head, the teacher stopped class for everyone to see for 5 minutes as she made jokes. What woke me? The intense laughter, followed by embarrassment. FML

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This is the future Big Tech wants

By Anonymous - 28/08/2023 22:00

Today, I was playing a virtual reality game at a gaming convention. I got so into it that I didn't realize I was screaming and flailing around in. A crowd had gathered to watch my dumbass embarrass myself. FML

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By xsnqw - 19/01/2016 22:28 - United States - San Francisco

Today, I was sitting at my desk in school, and I was really bored. I started playing with the strings on my pants, only to realize 5 minutes later it looked like I was fondling my dick. FML

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4bbaf9d3caaa8f84 20

Tuesday 9 June 2009 1:59

wow, that sucks. At least you didn't call out someone's name like your mom's, dog's, sister's etc...

FrootLoops_ 0

Tuesday 9 June 2009 2:00

that must have been awkward afterwards :)

Comments

SunnysideUp_ah1 0

Tuesday 16 June 2009 5:57

oh geebus.. :P how'd you find out? XD i hope they didnt catch it on camera or something..

jewelzgalore 0

Tuesday 16 June 2009 8:17

probably not real, but ******* HILARIOUS

froggy123000 0

Wednesday 17 June 2009 0:13

LMFAO!

Fire_lights 0

Wednesday 17 June 2009 4:53

VIOLENTLY humping the floor? ROFLMAO

swimchic 0

Friday 19 June 2009 9:30

LMAOOOOO that seriously is the funniest thing I've heard all day but that must have sucked id be totally embarrassed..fyl ha

monkyepum 0

Friday 19 June 2009 23:50

LOL. I BET THAT GOT A HUGE LAUGH. XD Probably scared some staff too.

thatisjank 0

Tuesday 23 June 2009 8:52

LMAO! That's hilarious...in tears dude....id SO love you at school, were proably popular after that.

btheb1124 3

Wednesday 24 June 2009 22:39

hahahah this is HILARIOUS! me and my sister cracked up so hard.

insanityismyspec 0

Saturday 27 June 2009 4:05

ouch! that really sucks, but its funny.

lutzluv124 0

Sunday 28 June 2009 11:28

sounds nice call me if your single we could have a great time and we could enjoy humping together! (780-998-7331)

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Top

Today, I had my new girlfriend over for dinner. Halfway through the meal, my dad started poking her with his fork. When I asked him what the hell he was doing, he barked back, "Just making sure she isn't a blow-up doll!" FML

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vote type 1 4 634

Today, my psycho-obsessed ex-girlfriend blabbed all about how she got a check in the mail for $1000 from CrimeStoppers on Facebook and Twitter. This explains how my current girlfriend and two of my friends all got arrested last week for having weed. FML

agreeclassic 21 094

vote type 1 5 022

Today, at a bar, a drunk girl kissed me, so I went home and confessed what happened to my girlfriend. She forgave me but took it as permission to admit she’s cheated sexually at least once a month for over a year, then got mad I didn’t immediately forgive her like she forgave me. FML

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Today, my roommate asked me to lock the door as we left our place. I told her to use my keys, because my hands were full. Afterwards, she and her boyfriend set off out of town for the next couple of days. She forgot to give me back my keys. FML

agreeclassic 27 094

vote type 1 5 653

Today, I was straightening my hair when I heard this crunching, sizzling sound. Taking the flat iron away, I realized that I had just fused a spider to my hair with the heat. FML

agreeclassic 66 014

vote type 1 6 653

Today, I'd planned a DIY 'treat yourself' spa day at home. I put on a face mask and settled to relax in a bubble bath. Just as I was getting out of the tub, I slipped on the wet floor and crashed into the wall, leaving a perfect imprint of the face mask on the tiles. FML

agreeclassic 580

vote type 1 137