Animals: Today, I got an email from the company that manages my cat's... - FML

By APetsPet - 05/10/2009 19:23 - United States

Today, I got an email from the company that manages my cat's microchip informing me that I had to update my information that had been entered by the local Humane Society. Apparently, they listed my cat "Coral" as the owner, and me as the pet. To change it, they needed the cat's signature. FML

agreeclassic 54 463

vote type 1 4 448

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By suspicious - this FML is from back in 2013 but it's good stuff - United States

Today, I received a lovely letter from the council telling me I have to cease the act of "breeding and selling cats" because someone from my Facebook reported me. I'm pretty sure I've never owned a cat or had one in my house. FML

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By jnr1234 - 20/06/2012 02:15 - United States - Princeton

Today, I was sent a letter by the vet, saying my cat was late for her yearly checkup. My cat died last week and I'd had her cremated by the same people who had sent the letter. FML

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By notacatperson - 01/03/2011 10:41 - United Kingdom

Today, I was informed that due to my cat being aggressive and attacking the postman several times, my mail would no longer be delivered to my address. I don't own a cat. FML

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Sneakin' in a kitty

By Anonymous - 15/01/2022 08:02

Today, my wife brought home a kitten, telling me it had been abandoned. She must think I’m dumb, since our credit card statement shows that all last week she bought it from a breeder, then got it vaccinated and chipped at the vet's, and only now brought it home to feed me this pack of lies. FML

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By kittynapper - 17/07/2014 23:32 - United States - Denver

Today, I found out that my cat, that I've had for 3 years, is actually my neighbor's missing cat. FML

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By Anonymous - 07/06/2017 20:00 - United States - Coplay

Today, my neighbor let me know that they've been taking care of my cats while I was away, including letting them in and out of my house. I don't own a cat. FML

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Hissing booth

By Carey - 03/09/2023 16:00 - Australia

Today, I took my cat to the vet for a regular check-up. In the waiting room, she escaped from her carrier and created chaos, knocking over supplies, and hissing at everyone. FML

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By blehhx - 09/04/2011 05:32 - United States

Today, I found out my cat is allergic to ME. No kidding. FML

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By wasted_gas - 05/10/2013 16:00 - United States - Cumming

Today, I woke up, got dressed, and left for the 1 hour drive to the nearest vet. When I arrived, I realized that I left my cat in its carrier on my kitchen counter. FML

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Pure evil

By Anonymous - 04/09/2023 11:30 - United States - Greenville

Today, I got a call at work. My cat somehow managed to lock my boyfriend and dog out of the house. The rental manager charged us $25 to open the door. The cat seems quite pleased with herself. FML

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Next

TOP COMMENTS

x0stormbringer 0

Tuesday 6 October 2009 1:40

well have the cat sign it then

Flymeister 3

Tuesday 6 October 2009 1:38

LOL

Comments

sporie 0

Monday 24 May 2010 4:39

it means he's the 'cat' !!! so they need him to sign!

suckmineplz 0

Wednesday 7 July 2010 3:29

in soviet Russia, all cats own you

moi101 0

Monday 19 July 2010 7:31

ahhahahahahahahahaha. 

ChocolateEclaire 0

Thursday 29 July 2010 22:17

161, it's a style of jokes started by Yakov Smirnoff, a comedian who lived in the USSR.

TerrorDollie 0

Sunday 10 October 2010 5:18

XD LOL

birdfreak 24

Monday 9 May 2011 7:03

get his paw print then 

forgettingsunday 0

Sunday 5 June 2011 3:34

dear god you guys aren't funny

Bella_is_my_name 4

Tuesday 28 June 2011 4:08

LOL @ #59

yoshiyakiryu 20

Wednesday 27 July 2011 1:37

LMAO, this is one of the best FML's I've read in a long time.

P374RD3D 9

Thursday 6 October 2011 7:36

This cat is signing a document. Your argument is invalid.

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Today, I found my sister licking all of the silverware and putting it back in the drawer. FML

agreeclassic 32 886

vote type 1 2 636

Today, I went down on my boyfriend for the first time. I went slowly to build up the excitement, and I thought it was working really well, until he sighed, "For fuck's sake, it's a dick, not a shotgun." and told me to stop embarrassing him. FML

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vote type 1 9 253

Today, while on a road trip, I stopped at a gas station and told my kids to go to the restroom. My youngest daughter said, "I had to go earlier, but not anymore." FML

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vote type 1 167

Today, I woke up and put my contacts in. It appears that I got drunk enough last night that instead of soaking my contacts in contact solution, I used mouthwash. FML

agreeclassic 45 359

vote type 1 24 752

Today, my mom and I went out to a fancy and expensive restaurant per her request; she told me it was her treat. After we ate our meals and the large check came, she excused herself to the bathroom. She didn't come back. I was dine-and-dashed by my own mother. FML

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Today, my mom screamed in my face that if she could go back in time, she’d rather have put up with the 3-minute pain of being fucked in the ass like her boyfriend wanted, because then she wouldn’t have had 13 years of pain raising me. FML

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