Health: Today, I gave my girlfriend a small stun gun I bought for her....

By Ducati - 10/08/2009 02:13 - United States

Today, I gave my girlfriend a small stun gun I bought for her. She mentioned how she thought it was ''cute'', though it probably wouldn't help if someone was after her. She then put the tazer to my chest. When I woke up, she told me how it was my fault, for buying it for her. FML

agreeclassic 49 882

vote type 1 13 484

When Christmas Ends Badly…
Rather than debating politics with Uncle Roger for the umpteenth time, share the best Christmas FMLs to finally have a good family meal! More…

Previous FML Next FML

Similar FMLs

By Nick - 22/08/2010 23:33 - France

Today, I got tased, with the same taser I bought my girlfriend to use on people trying to rob her. FML

agreeclassic 28 031

vote type 1 8 264

By PoopTart - 29/04/2009 05:39 - United States

Today, I gave my sister a stun gun for her birthday since she recently had a couple "close calls" walking home from work late at night. She was so excited and thankful that she wanted to express her gratitude by shocking me to see if it really worked. FML

agreeclassic 59 197

vote type 1 14 817

Zapped

By joey - 09/03/2020 05:00

Today, my mom decided to try her new taser on me while I was asleep on the couch. FML

agreeclassic 1 872

vote type 1 161

By bTOhno - 13/08/2011 06:37 - United States

Today, I woke up at my girlfriend's house. She was staring at me, holding a knife over my face. She ran away, giggling. FML

agreeclassic 45 083

vote type 1 4 735

By RomanceFail - 02/04/2015 12:51 - United States - Crestwood

Today, I woke up my girlfriend up with a cute kiss. She was apparently having a bad dream and headbutted me. FML

agreeclassic 30 066

vote type 1 3 386

By Anonymous - 17/07/2011 08:43 - United States

Today, I spotted my girlfriend in a store. She didn't notice me, so I went behind her, put my hands over her eyes, and said "Guess who." I got an elbow to the groin and mace to the face. While I was rolling on the ground in pain, she simply said, "Serves you right" and walked away. FML

agreeclassic 30 390

vote type 1 22 665

It's not what you think!

By Anonymous - 05/08/2021 14:01

Today, I bought my daughter a rape alarm after she had a near-miss with a creep following her to her part-time job. As soon as I handed it to her in the car park, she accidentally set it off and one of her coworkers put me in a rather painful headlock and threw me to the ground, breaking my arm. FML

agreeclassic 2 182

vote type 1 203

Sleep punching is a thing

By Anonymous - 13/09/2021 02:00

Today, I woke up to a punch in the face. My girlfriend said it was because she dreamed that I'd bought all her friends Taco Bell but didn't bring her anything. FML

agreeclassic 992

vote type 1 105

By stopinthenameoflove - 19/06/2014 14:37 - Ireland - Dublin

Today, my girlfriend thought it'd be witty to buy a miniature stop sign, and hold it up when she gets bored during sex. FML

agreeclassic 55 101

vote type 1 15 466

By Anonymous - 20/10/2015 09:44 - United States - Atlanta

Today, I leaned over my sleeping girlfriend, kissed her cheek and told her I love her. She punched me in the ear. FML

agreeclassic 24 838

vote type 1 3 666

Tubasaurus 0

Monday 10 August 2009 9:10

I think a safety test should be required to handle stun guns. Too many stupid people think they are harmless.

DameGreyWulf 0

Monday 10 August 2009 9:15

I don't care what kind of place you live (dangerous or not) or how low voltage it was, it is awesome you bought her a stun gun. I would dance if anyone ever bought me one. So awesome. FYL for bitchy girlfriend, you were only thinking of her.