Health: Today, I found the best cure for constipation is having my brother...

By crazyk2468 - 26/04/2012 17:29 - United States - Buena Park

Today, I found the best cure for constipation is having my brother scare the literal shit out of me, in Walmart. FML

agreeclassic 26 750

vote type 1 2 580

New Year, New Blunders
Celebrate the New Year with stories of resolutions broken in less than 24 hours and memorable New Year's Eves... for all the wrong reasons! More…

Previous FML Next FML

Similar FMLs

You're barred

By sarahhbear - 17/11/2012 06:42 - United States - Bryan

Today, my older brother thought it would be hilarious to sneak up and scare me in the grocery aisle at the store. I screamed and jumped, knocking half the shelf's contents all over the floor. We're now banned from the only grocery store in town. FML

agreeclassic 26 135

vote type 1 3 203

Jeremy?

By Anonymous - 20/04/2022 22:00

Today, I shat myself in the middle of Walmart. It dripped out the bottom of my pants till i made it to the restroom, which was on the other side of the store. FML

agreeclassic 1 142

vote type 1 267

By Sostupid - 24/01/2011 03:41 - Canada

Today, I had a panic attack because I was constipated. FML

agreeclassic 25 514

vote type 1 8 803

By firegirl - 05/07/2018 15:00

Today, I finally got over a long bout of constipation. I was scared to ask my mom for laxatives because I had the feeling she would tell all her friends, but on the 6th day of absolutely no bowel movements, I caved. I later overheard my mom telling all her friends. FML

agreeclassic 3 931

vote type 1 381

By wantontsu - 11/09/2010 18:59

Today, I had diarrhea in a Walmart bathroom for 15 minutes. Apparently, so did the guy in the stall next to me. He attempted to make small talk to pass the time. FML

agreeclassic 34 732

vote type 1 3 636

You need more fiber

By Anonymous - 30/04/2024 14:00 - United States

Today, I finally got over having constipation for two days straight. It came in the form of a normal-sized, rock-hard turd that made me scream "Ow!" when it came out. FML

agreeclassic 431

vote type 1 116

By aswamk - 19/12/2015 05:01 - Pakistan - Karachi

Today, my constant constipation has become a running joke in my family; I heard my mom tell my dad that if he wants to keep his Christmas presents safe, he should ask me to eat them. FML

agreeclassic 20 998

vote type 1 1 717

Stuck

By Anonymous - 09/08/2022 10:00 - Australia

Today, I had to take a laxative for the first time. Instead of working gently overnight like it promised, I woke up at 3 a.m. to an unrelenting river of shit that made my legs numb on the toilet. FML

agreeclassic 1 052

vote type 1 160

By Anonymous - 27/08/2014 21:56 - United States - Hermiston

Today, my brother thought jumping out and punching me in the stomach would cure my hiccups. Yeah. Didn't work. FML

agreeclassic 37 442

vote type 1 3 272

Volcanic

By poopshooter101 - 30/06/2009 11:53 - United States

Today, I was at Walmart when my stomach began to hurt. I quickly waddled to the restroom in pain. As soon as I got in the stall, a huge crap exploded out of me. The child in the stall next to me started crying. When her mom asked what was wrong, she said that I'd "killed her nose." FML

agreeclassic 62 784

vote type 1 9 344

Jf770 10

Thursday 26 April 2012 22:43

Have fun with that.

Razzle_Dazzle_5 11

Thursday 26 April 2012 22:44

That must of hurt. I'm guessing it would be like a boulder going through a straw.

Comments

Heinousness 0

Friday 27 April 2012 22:20

53 is right. Noor, don't be sad, we all do it. OP, thanks for the interesting mental picture. You're welcome :P

lowie89 7

Saturday 28 April 2012 9:41

Only at Walmart! Wonder if anyone caught a picture of you ******** yourself for that people of Walmart website

bkm804 0

Sunday 29 April 2012 14:25

At lest its was just Walmart where people do some crazy shit!

emlennon 0

Saturday 18 August 2012 7:40

Oh those Walmart shenanigans.........

ajaj26 12

Monday 1 July 2013 8:26

Good thing that you were close to a toilet, clean clothes, laxatives & adult diapers.

MoroseMoose 47

Thursday 6 October 2016 0:37

I'm curious how he managed to scare you that badly.

VDM sur Facebook

Keywords

Miscellaneous Stalker My ex Coworkers Love Internet Relatable AITA Pokémon Awkward Work Parenting Kids Annoying Shopping Underwear Jealousy Parents Thief Sex Intimacy Suspicious Family NSFW Birthday Gifts I need your advice Accident Abuse Moving home

Top

Today, I learned what my office nickname means. My nickname? Butterface. FML

agreeclassic 1 778

vote type 1 221

Today, I sleepily sprang out of bed to battle a determined off-brand rattly Roomba for the right to clear up a large puddle of cat barf. Guess who won… FML

agreeclassic 152

vote type 1 266

Today, I was working at a daycare. There was a 6-year-old boy pretending to be my doctor, holding a little, plastic thermometer. He then, without warning, quickly shoved it deep into my ear. The last thing I heard was his giggle. I think I'm deaf. FML

agreeclassic 45 105

vote type 1 4 018

Today, my boyfriend went out and bought a pistol. When I asked him in horror why he did such a thing, he said, "It's my God-given right as a US citizen!" We're not even American, we immigrated from the UK, and we were both atheists, or so I thought. FML

agreeclassic 717

vote type 1 416

Today, I was babysitting a four-year-old girl, when I came across a toy that sang the Macarena. For fun, I decided to teach her the dance. When she showed her parents, instead of putting her hands on her backside and turning, she decided to bend over and moon them. FML

agreeclassic 26 237

vote type 1 3 073

Today, I found an ad for my job at my company on an online job board. FML

agreeclassic 30 025

vote type 1 2 216