Intimacy: Today, I found out that my roommate has a masturbation problem;...

By awkward O_o - 24/04/2013 21:15 - United States - Saint Paul

Today, I found out that my roommate has a masturbation problem; the problem is that he does it in my bed. FML

agreeclassic 65 831

vote type 1 4 930

Winter: Snow and Funny News
Snuggle up and laugh with our winter stories, where snow isn't the only thing sliding around! More…

Previous FML Next FML

Similar FMLs

It's not the size that counts

By Leo Scofield - 29/08/2020 02:00

Today, I came home to find out my roommate had sex in my bed, because he didn't want his date to know he has a smaller bed. FML

agreeclassic 2 067

vote type 1 160

By Arizonagirl - 06/11/2016 07:31 - United States

Today, I walked in on my roommate having sex in my bed, because apparently hers is "for sleeping only". FML

agreeclassic 13 361

vote type 1 843

Handjob

By Anonymous - 20/11/2019 18:00

Today, I heard my boyfriend masturbate next to me and then relieves himself on my bed sheets. FML

agreeclassic 3 081

vote type 1 919

By Anonymous - 10/08/2018 06:00

Today, I found out my roommate has been using my bed for months because he didn't want his sheets to "smell like gay sex" when his mom washed them. FML

agreeclassic 3 873

vote type 1 335

By Cold feet - 07/04/2019 12:00 - Canada - Richmond Hill

Today, I found out that my roommate was responsible for stealing my socks. When I confronted him about it, he told me that he did it because he likes looking at my bare feet and jerking off into my socks. We’re both guys. FML

agreeclassic 2 621

vote type 1 184

Roommates from hell

By Anonymous - 09/11/2022 04:00

Today, my roommate is super comfortable around me. Comfortable enough to masturbate while we are in the same room. I asked him to stop, which took some self-control because I wanted to shout at him. He said he needs to do it because of his shin splints. Whatever. FML

agreeclassic 1 475

vote type 1 214

Frustrated

By skipper - 12/02/2009 17:25 - United States

Today, I listened to my roommate having sex from 3 a.m. until 6 a.m. When I looked over at my girlfriend, who must have thought I was sleeping, I noticed she was masturbating. FML

agreeclassic 47 838

vote type 1 12 101

By anonymous - 08/01/2015 19:10 - United States - Noblesville

Today, after getting into bed, I found a used condom under my covers. I asked my roommate about it. She freely admitted that since my bed was comfier than hers, she had sex with her boyfriend on it. FML

agreeclassic 44 178

vote type 1 3 382

By Sad_Happy_Gorl - 15/12/2018 23:00 - United States - University Center

Today, I found out my boyfriend has to picture someone else when we have sex. The most recent: my roommate. FML

agreeclassic 3 454

vote type 1 359

Gagging for it

By Anonymous - 20/02/2023 14:00 - United States - Cleveland

Today, my roommate spends so much time in our dorm room that I got a boner when I heard him leaving for class, because it was my first chance in days to jack off in peace. FML

agreeclassic 940

vote type 1 270

Suchagoonnn 4

Thursday 25 April 2013 9:06

Join him

RodzillaX 30

Thursday 25 April 2013 9:06

Now is the time to go ********** in their bed.

Comments

MDNative 6

Saturday 27 April 2013 4:10

well why should he ruin his bed

amifaiyaz 12

Sunday 28 April 2013 5:28

kinky.

toastedjellybowl 7

Sunday 12 May 2013 20:33

Wow. This takes disrespect to a whole new level. LOL!

kokorowe 3

Tuesday 21 May 2013 4:55

Shit on his pillow hell never go in your room again

legendxs 20

Wednesday 22 May 2013 12:42

Do the same to him.

Kyle_Duke 5

Friday 7 June 2013 7:51

Sledge hammer + nuts=sterile which in turn means no more sick ***** rubbing one out in your bed

Aimee1331 9

Monday 23 September 2013 6:18

Eww

MadJessTic 29

Friday 13 March 2015 19:53

So.... That makes it YOUR problem.. No?

VDM sur Facebook

Keywords

Miscellaneous Stalker My ex Coworkers Love Internet Relatable AITA Pokémon Awkward Work Kids Parenting Annoying Shopping Underwear Jealousy Parents Thief Sex Intimacy Suspicious Family NSFW Birthday Gifts I need your advice Accident Abuse Moving home

Top

Today, since I work at a doughnut shop, I came home smelling like fry oil and had bits of sugar on me. My boyfriend told me he loves having sex with me right after I get off work. He said its like having sex with a hot doughnut. FML

agreeclassic 54 272

vote type 1 9 079

Today, I found out my boyfriend is booking my dream vacation to Bali with his brothers, 6 months after he told me we couldn't go on vacation this year because he doesn’t have the money. They planned this within a week. I had been planning it with him for months. FML

agreeclassic 2 323

vote type 1 215

Today, I had a terrible stomach ache and had some pretty bad gas at work. I tried to head down to the basement for a while to allow my coworkers to continue in peace. About an hour after I came back up, my boss called pest control due to the horrible smell that "must be dead rats". FML

agreeclassic 13 698

vote type 1 1 320

Today, I started petting my cousin's Doberman. Now, whenever I stop he growls menacingly. FML

agreeclassic 33 872

vote type 1 5 454

Today, I broke up with my boyfriend of 2 years because I was tired of his childishness and anger, so he decided to send me 540 random text messages of scrambled letters in order to mess up my phone as well, as make me pay 20 cents for each message. FML

agreeclassic 31 576

vote type 1 5 744

Today, I was giving my guy a blowjob. When he blurted out, "Oh Jesus" I assumed I was doing a good job. I looked up to see the expression on his face and noticed a look of terror. He was staring at my growling cat, two seconds away from clawing his face off. FML

agreeclassic 43 567

vote type 1 6 006