Health: Today, I found out that I have testicular cancer for the second... - FML

By Anonymous - 20/09/2011 23:54 - United States

Today, I found out that I have testicular cancer for the second time in two years, and they may end up removing my last testicle. Knowing full well I was also born with an extra rib, the doctor at the consultation joked, "Hey, you'll be three quarters of the way to being a woman." FML

agreeclassic 45 227

vote type 1 2 698

New Year, New Blunders
Celebrate the New Year with stories of resolutions broken in less than 24 hours and memorable New Year's Eves... for all the wrong reasons! More…

Previous FML Next FML

Similar FMLs

Deez Nuts

By ALittleLighter - 14/09/2021 05:00

Today, I finally lost some weight. Unfortunately, that's only because I had a testicle removed due to cancer. FML

agreeclassic 1 105

vote type 1 79

By Anonymous - 21/02/2011 03:28 - Canada

Today, I went to the doctor thinking I had breast cancer. Turns out, I have a third boob. FML

agreeclassic 48 383

vote type 1 5 003

Unusual diagnosis method

By Anonymous - 08/08/2022 16:00

Today, after my brother punched me in the balls a few weeks ago, and while I was clutching myself in pain I actually felt a hard lump on the right testicle, I got the results: it’s cancer but survivable if they remove the testicle. I had to thank my brother for saving me by punching me in the balls. FML

agreeclassic 1 211

vote type 1 135

By Leashaness - 15/09/2012 11:07 - United States

Today, my doctor informed me that the pea-sized bump under my arm is a "third breast." That's not what I meant every time I said I wanted more tits. FML

agreeclassic 27 363

vote type 1 2 759

By Lara - 08/01/2016 11:28 - Germany - Bremen

Today, I went to the doctor's because I could feel something solid in my breasts, and I wanted to get it checked, just to be safe. Turns out it was my ribs. Oops. FML

agreeclassic 19 428

vote type 1 8 366

By BadKneeBackAndSinuses - 23/09/2018 15:30

Today, I found out I have to have an operation. This will be the third in 3 years, all for completely unrelated reasons. I'm only 26 and apparently my body is already falling apart at the seams. FML

agreeclassic 2 834

vote type 1 150

Thanks for the miracle

By howinthenameofholyfuck?! - 16/07/2020 17:01

Today, after being diagnosed with breast cancer, enduring months of tortuous chemo, having painful radiation treatments and having had my tubes tied, I realized I’ve become the butt of an incredibly cruel cosmic joke. I got pregnant from the one-night stand I had to celebrate beating cancer. FML

agreeclassic 2 247

vote type 1 640

By Anonymous - 10/08/2016 14:10 - Serbia - Pancevo

Today, I was told I'll need a hysterectomy. I'm barely 22. My doctor said "You probably wanted kids, huh? That's gonna be rough!" FML

agreeclassic 16 926

vote type 1 1 413

Wrong place, wrong time

By Matthew - 10/03/2021 00:30

Today, I awoke with a swollen, painful testicle. I called the ambulance and went to the hospital. After they'd done an ultrasound, it's a bad infection. My nurse was someone I used to know and had a major crush on. She's responsible for checking my testicle every 20 minutes when she checks my heart rate. FML

agreeclassic 1 180

vote type 1 136

By Anonymous - 11/08/2018 01:30

Today, I didn't see the cat in the bathroom before I took my pants down, and the beast tore open my ballsack. The doctor says I might lose my left testicle, depending on how the surgery goes. FML

agreeclassic 3 876

vote type 1 363

Next

TOP COMMENTS

IntoTheClouds 42

Wednesday 21 September 2011 5:38

Sorry to hear about your cancer, OP. Best wishes.

josebeto1 6

Wednesday 21 September 2011 5:38

****** up bro, hope you don't lose it

Comments

bad_luck3 15

Tuesday 21 October 2014 6:42

Why the comment of the extra rib? It makes absolutely no sense to me.

trumpy 9

Thursday 23 April 2015 17:44

i hope you socked that asshole in the teeth...how insensitive

VDM sur Facebook

Keywords

Miscellaneous Stalker My ex Coworkers Love Internet Relatable AITA Pokémon Awkward Work Parenting Kids Annoying Shopping Underwear Jealousy Parents Thief Suspicious Sex Intimacy Family NSFW Birthday Gifts I need your advice Accident Abuse Moving home

Top

Top

Today, I found out I'm pregnant. My boyfriend and I have been dying to have kids together. This would be an exciting moment if he wasn't deploying in June and will miss everything except the morning sickness. FML

agreeclassic 47 092

vote type 1 6 958

Today, I signed up for karaoke at a bar, thinking I’d picked a fun, easy song. When it started playing, I realized I'd unknowingly chosen the eight-minute extended remix with two full guitar solos. I had to awkwardly sway on stage for five minutes while everyone drank their beers silently. FML

agreeclassic 139

vote type 1 356

Today, I went to a corporate event and lit my hair on fire in front of everyone due to an unfortunately-placed candle on the bar. FML

agreeclassic 4 290

vote type 1 520

Today, I went to see a movie I'd been waiting months for. A couple of women sat down a few rows in front of me with five infants. The infants cried and wailed throughout. I'm not sure I have any idea what was actually said in any of the dialogue. FML

agreeclassic 34 401

vote type 1 3 175

Today, my grandmother tried to lecture me about discrimination. This is the same woman who lies about her grandchildren's race, and tried to convince a Jewish person that the Jews were responsible for the Holocaust. FML

agreeclassic 432

vote type 1 109

Today, I spent more than 5 hours transcribing all the notes from my computer to a notebook then to flash cards, to drill myself for a physics test. Even though my bedroom door was closed, my mom let our new puppy in so it wouldn’t be scared by the vacuum. Yes, it peed and chewed on my notes. FML

agreeclassic 1 055

vote type 1 112