Miscellaneous: Today, I finally got into a yoga class with the instructor I've...

By LondonKitsch - 26/06/2009 16:51 - United States

Today, I finally got into a yoga class with the instructor I've been crushing on for 2 years. As he walked closer to greet me, I lifted my leg over my head into a full split, and queefed obnoxiously loud. He responded with his gag reflex. FML

agreeclassic 50 853

vote type 1 29 781

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By Anonymous - 10/12/2010 13:05 - United States

Today, for the first time, a good looking guy was in my yoga class. Today also marked the first time I farted during yoga class. FML

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By belle_arina - 08/10/2009 05:05 - United States

Today, we were doing stretches in dance class where you are on your hands and doing the splits in the air while your partner helps hold you and stretch your legs further. Right as I lift my left leg up, I farted hugely right in my partner's face. I couldn't make eye contact for the rest of class. FML

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By mooned - 03/02/2018 01:30

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By Craptastic - this FML is from back in 2018 but it's good stuff

Today, at physical therapy, I felt that all-too-familiar gurgle in my gut, but I thought it would a light, silent fart. I squatted for an exercise and shit my pants in front of the cute, single, male physical therapist. He definitely noticed. I still had 30 minutes left in the session. FML

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By Anonymous - 27/10/2009 10:28 - United Kingdom

Today, in the gym, as I bent over to pick up my weights an old man farted right in my face. The stench was appalling. To make matters worse, a girl I've fancied for ages thought it was me and reported it to the instructor. I was told to leave for 'anti-social behavior'. FML

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By john - 28/01/2009 23:02 - United States

Today, the girl who I have had a crush on for two years snuck up from behind me and gave me a hug. I farted very loud at the same exact time. FML

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Mandy_fml 0

Friday 26 June 2009 23:17

Haha, that's hilarious! Sucks to be you.

nightswimmer 0

Friday 26 June 2009 23:18

oooh that sucks, you shoulda said to him "it was you"

Comments

fangsupKELS 0

Friday 26 June 2009 23:22

Queefed?

CassT 0

Friday 26 June 2009 23:29

Urbandictionary.com, man. Works wonders. I feel honoured to be playing a small but simple part in disrupting the innocence of your mind.

imbored932 4

Friday 26 June 2009 23:29

you're better off for not knowing

abdur 0

Saturday 27 June 2009 0:23

I for one completely agree with you! FYL indeed :P

sixroses 0

Saturday 27 June 2009 1:28

haha def. had to look that one up too. Kinda wish I hadn't...

basketballbabee 0

Saturday 27 June 2009 2:29

haha urbandictionary.com is beast. but yeah i know what it is, rather wish i didnt. thank god its never happened to me though! :)

kaz11126 0

Saturday 27 June 2009 4:48

dont worry, i had no idea what it was either.....

fmlcrycrycryfml 0

Monday 29 June 2009 0:28

queef=when air comes out of a woman's ****** sounding like a fart

wafflemen 2

Thursday 23 June 2011 1:23

a ****** fart

bebekinza 5

Monday 4 July 2011 0:35

yakno when the vag lets out hair and it "farts"?

camobabe20 2

Saturday 11 February 2012 9:48

#12 it means a ****** fart basically, very gross. Should only have the possibility of queefing after certain sex positions. Aka her ****** is very loose! FYL

Hiimhaileypotter 52

Wednesday 27 August 2014 17:09

#242 You're an idiot, stop spewing nonsense.

Daaniellee1234 8

Friday 26 June 2009 23:22

Thats soo embarassing!!! Aahah

softbonez 0

Friday 26 June 2009 23:23

That. Is. Hilarious. Sorry.

crazyjack 0

Friday 26 June 2009 23:23

Do not 'greet' people, just say hello! Or you could just bend yout body into a 'HI!' form -.-

mexicansweetie48 0

Friday 26 June 2009 23:24

hahaha. wow sucks for you. next time trying saying "hi". fyl.

Bart_Oranje 0

Friday 26 June 2009 23:26

.. what does Queef mean :-S

JTGolant 0

Sunday 28 June 2009 6:49

it's nice to see someone that isn't a complete ******* imbecile on here, thank you #117

Mancake 0

Monday 29 June 2009 7:51

i was thinking exact the same thing

Chocolate_Chunk 2

Monday 5 July 2010 8:50

@117 ****?

wafflemen 2

Thursday 23 June 2011 1:24

a fuking ****** fart

thelonelylurker 0

Friday 26 June 2009 23:26

I would be impressed! Hahaha, good job.

suckitsucker 0

Friday 26 June 2009 23:27

Way to go, Queen LaQueef-a.

phiaphia 0

Saturday 27 June 2009 0:03

hahahahhaha

eastgirl16 0

Saturday 27 June 2009 7:33

Holy shizz balls, that made me laugh so hard hahaha

ShenziSixaxis 0

Saturday 27 June 2009 10:40

Ha ha, nice one! XD

brian9510 0

Wednesday 1 July 2009 15:37

hahahahahahahahahaha!!!!!

pleasetryagain 0

Friday 26 June 2009 23:29

Anyone who won't date you because your ****** works like a ****** is a douche, and you should get over it too. People who get upset over bodily functions are way too uptight.

gsfgf 0

Friday 26 June 2009 23:37

We live in a world of equality. If men aren't allowed to fart in front of a woman until after consummation, shouldn't the same extend to the wimmens?

tiffany_lynne 0

Friday 26 June 2009 23:43

Unfortunately, it just doesn't work that way... you can't hold in a queef, and you have no feeling of when it's going to happen (unlike a fart). I'm sorry that happened to you. The most embarrassing moment of my life happened to involve a queef too...

imkendra 0

Friday 26 June 2009 23:51

That's right. queefs cannot be held in or detected in advance. I know of some women who can force them out on purpose using their vaginal muscles to trap in air and release it, but that's about it. The ****** has no nerve endings the further up you go, which is why a tampon can't be felt once it's inserted. And as such, if there's an air bubble there, you have no way of knowing it. So it's different from passing a regular fart, as you typically have mucho warning for those, and control (most of the time). The queef is just one more thing your ****** likes to do to make your love life awkward.