Miscellaneous: Today, I dreamed that I was kidnapped by Charlie Sheen. FML

By woahitbechels - 25/04/2011 01:10 - United States

Today, I dreamed that I was kidnapped by Charlie Sheen. FML

agreeclassic 36 000

vote type 1 12 599

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Secret sex

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LuckyLogic 0

Monday 25 April 2011 9:00

Did you drink tiger blood?

Bill3485 3

Monday 25 April 2011 9:05

fyl? no way, your life is #winning!

Comments

iLyxjamie 0

Tuesday 26 April 2011 14:23

Tiger blood ! ... Winning :)

iStEvO 0

Tuesday 26 April 2011 18:57

this is the stupidest fml ever : /

MIL0_fml 0

Tuesday 26 April 2011 21:40

they said dream not nightmare ;) WINNING!

HU4L188 0

Tuesday 26 April 2011 22:41

monster

connerl23 0

Tuesday 26 April 2011 22:48

and that's a bad thing?

conniebaby67 0

Wednesday 27 April 2011 0:07

adding to my favorites . lmao

jskibabe22 4

Wednesday 27 April 2011 4:20

go to therepy

Liamj774 36

Wednesday 27 April 2011 4:52

to me that would be a good thing

paprikacha 9

Wednesday 27 April 2011 7:56

This may be the greatest FML I've ever read.

SmokeyD21_fml 0

Wednesday 27 April 2011 10:50

did you meet the 2 goddesses?

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Keywords

Miscellaneous Stalker My ex Coworkers Love Internet Relatable AITA Pokémon Awkward Work Kids Parenting Annoying Shopping Underwear Jealousy Parents Thief Intimacy Suspicious Sex Family NSFW Birthday Gifts I need your advice Accident Abuse Moving home

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Today, I was feeling terrible and posted on Facebook about how I was stressed out and feeling really lonely. My sister replied saying "#fatfuckproblems". 13 people liked it and some so-called friends posted stuff like "rekt" and "SLAYED, bitch!", all in less than a minute. FML

agreeclassic 20 517

vote type 1 4 625

Today, I found out a guy I used to date is trying to get me fired from my dream job. He found an old flip phone with a text argument we had nearly 17 years ago. He wants me punished for things I said when I was an angry 15 year old-kid. HR is now looking into the whole thing. FML

agreeclassic 1 710

vote type 1 125

Today, I discovered my cat is bathroom shy when I accidentally walked in on him relieving himself. He jumped about 3 feet in the air and bolted out, launching feces and pee all over the bathroom, hallway, and my shoes. FML

agreeclassic 21 075

vote type 1 2 565

Today, my boyfriend, who doesn't have a license, backed up my car in a Taco Bell parking lot. Someone else was also backing up and smashed right into my car. If they ask to see the camera footage, they're going to see he was driving and not me. FML

agreeclassic 499

vote type 1 1 990

Today, I came out of the closet, after years of fear and shame, thanks to my mom making me to go to a church full of fundies my whole life. In the end, I was in tears. All I got was a frown and a "So? Want a medal or something?" FML

agreeclassic 19 861

vote type 1 3 799

Today, I got a meat pie for lunch. I bit into it and felt something hard. I spat it out. It was a tooth. I checked my mouth in a panic and discovered, with mixed feelings of relief and horror, that the tooth wasn’t mine. FML

agreeclassic 89 242

vote type 1 4 336