Health: Today, I accidentally slammed a door on my own arm flab. FML

By Anonymous - 26/01/2012 16:45 - United States

Today, I accidentally slammed a door on my own arm flab. FML

agreeclassic 16 009

vote type 1 32 378

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Ouch!

By Anonymous - 11/11/2021 02:00

Today, my son tripped into a door and slammed it shut. I'd been holding onto the door frame, leaning around to talk to a neighbour, so of course it slammed my fingers. It must be a really sharp door, because I just woke from the surgery to reattach my three amputated fingers. FML

agreeclassic 1 508

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By BudmaudeY - 31/03/2011 20:53 - Sweden

Today, I noticed that the injury on my hand from three weeks ago no longer hurt. A while later, I accidentally slammed that same hand in a door. FML

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vote type 1 15 828

By Amy - 10/05/2012 19:14 - Canada - Prince George

Today, I woke up, only to find my arm was still asleep. I tried to move it just a tiny bit, but somehow ended up punching myself in the face. FML

agreeclassic 25 054

vote type 1 5 245

Fight! Fight!

By LostInSunday - this FML is from back in 2016 but it's good stuff

Today, I accidentally slapped myself in the face with my belt when I pulled it from my belt loops too quickly. FML

agreeclassic 11 557

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What? How? Why?

By Anonymous - 17/03/2021 22:01 - United States - Boise

Today, I smashed my finger with a hammer. A finger on the hand holding the hammer. FML

agreeclassic 708

vote type 1 314

How on Earth…?

By Ouch - 14/10/2024 05:00 - United States - Steele

Today, I cut my finger trying to open a door. Yes, I am just as confused as you are. FML

agreeclassic 362

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You're grounded!

By Break A Leg - 08/08/2022 14:00

Today, I accidentally slammed my leg against the coffee table. It was only after I went to the bathroom a few minutes later that I realized there's now a massive gash on my upper leg. I also got in trouble for yelling, "SON OF A BITCH!" as soon as the impact occurred. FML

agreeclassic 782

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I don't know my strength

By Anonymous - 09/01/2022 06:01 - Australia - Perth

Today, I gave the back door a slight nudge to make sure it was latched shut. Of course, it flew wide open, causing me to smash my face into the doorframe, fall out onto the back porch writhing in pain, and have blood pissing out of my face. FML

agreeclassic 953

vote type 1 317

Night fight

By FistFighter - 09/04/2011 04:01 - United States

Today, after getting up to press snooze on my alarm clock, I climbed back into bed. When I went to reach for the covers quickly because I was cold, I missed, yet still managed to pull back my fist with force punching myself in the face. I now have a bloody fat lip. FML

agreeclassic 26 949

vote type 1 12 986

How does that happen?

By Anonymous - 10/04/2023 22:00 - Unites States

Today, I accidentally super-glued my hand to my face while trying to fix a broken pair of glasses. I yanked it off in a panic, taking a patch of my face along with it. FML

agreeclassic 643

vote type 1 473

haw008 14

Thursday 26 January 2012 19:00

How does that even happen?

Rachel1987 4

Thursday 26 January 2012 19:00

Lose weight? That's really gross.

Comments

adlezama1909 9

Thursday 26 January 2012 21:52

That must have hurt... Plus, the mental image I now have is nasty!

kitten84 1

Thursday 26 January 2012 22:00

Lol

digitaljunky 5

Thursday 26 January 2012 22:04

That is disgusting :S

CLW_fml 9

Thursday 26 January 2012 22:11

lol

TomHarrow 5

Thursday 26 January 2012 22:38

And this is why China is beating us.

StupidBunnies 10

Thursday 26 January 2012 22:49

Sounds like you're trying to grow your own wings.

TheJester12 15

Thursday 26 January 2012 22:51

you sir are a phat ***** .

SAMMILLER098 2

Thursday 26 January 2012 22:57

Maybe this is a sign...

ifeelya 5

Thursday 26 January 2012 23:17

ouch. time to stick with your new years resoultions... you made it, didn't you?

amsalwajih 0

Thursday 26 January 2012 23:27

1-800-getslim

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Today, I woke up with a burning sensation on my butt. Remembering that yesterday I was bit by a fire ant, I decided to reinspect the bite. I found ten more which itch and burn. My parents' new nickname for me is "Firebutt". FML

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Today, I learned how it feels like when you fall off a second floor balcony with mom's flower pot, landing on your back. My mom got pissed because of her beloved flowers, and gave me a lecture while I rolled on the ground in pain. FML

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