Awkward, ACAB, Cops and Love: Today, after my shift at the police station, I went on a date...

By thekriss - 23/08/2012 20:28 - France - Paris

Today, after my shift at the police station, I went on a date with a girl I recently met. We had a great date, that is until I opened the car door for her, and out of habit, pushed down on her head as she got in. FML

agreeclassic 41 936

vote type 1 12 113

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By Anon - 30/01/2009 11:39 - Canada

Today, I was on a date with this girl. I attempted to put my arm around her, but I elbowed her in the face instead. FML

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By JD - 02/02/2009 17:23 - United States

Today, I went out on a date with a girl for the first time. I opened her car door for her and then slammed her leg in it upon closing. She will be in a cast for 6 weeks. FML

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By Anonymous - 01/09/2009 15:09 - United States

Today, I met a girl at a bar. After buying her a few drinks, we decided to head back to her place. Not wanting to leave either of our cars, I followed her home. While driving, she sent me text because she missed her exit. I tried to text her back something witty and instead rear ended her. FML

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By soomeone - 16/02/2010 19:28 - United States

Today, I went to the movies with my girlfriend. As I started putting my arm around her, I hit her in the face. FML

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By Ryan746 - 09/06/2009 05:45 - United States

Today, I asked a girl out and made plans to go see a movie. About 5 minutes in, I made a move to put my arm around her and smashed her in the face. FML

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By Badday - 25/10/2009 04:38 - Canada

Today, I went on a date with a girl that I really like. I picked her up from her house, and as I was pulling out of her driveway, I hit her dad's BMW, knocking off the bumper. FML

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By poop - 18/05/2009 17:25 - United States

Today, at work, I decided to try and impress this girl walking behind me by holding the door open for her. As she was walking through, I inadvertently pulled the door too hard. It slammed against the wall and ricochet back, hitting her right in the face. FML

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By Alec - 10/12/2012 07:01 - United States

Today, I went on a date with a great girl; we went out to dinner and saw a movie. After the movie, we went out to my car to find out that a homeless man had broken the window, climbed into it, and was eating the leftover pasta with his fingers. FML

agreeclassic 28 806

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By tacoboy - 21/08/2009 08:06 - United States

Today, I was on a date with a girl I've had feelings for since I was 14 (I'm 22). I took her out to dinner, then to a movie that we both liked and had a few drinks afterwards. I thought it was going really well until I was driving her home and she asked to be dropped off at her boyfriend's house. FML

agreeclassic 47 233

vote type 1 6 599

By H-B - 28/04/2009 08:53 - United States

Today, I went out with a girl who I really love. We arrived to her house and before she got out of the car, I attempted to kiss her as planned. Still drunk, I grabbed her head and twisted it when I kissed her. She's now wearing a neck brace. Real smooth. FML

agreeclassic 17 605

vote type 1 88 999

bibbster18 11

Friday 24 August 2012 0:13

Hey man, you never know maybe she likes that kind of stuff.

gribbles 12

Friday 24 August 2012 0:13

Haha! Force of habit. I constantly find myself yelling corner when walking around corners no matter where I'm at.

Comments

PamChopsWithMint 5

Friday 24 August 2012 0:22

I would find it funny if my date did that!

AholeCop 11

Friday 24 August 2012 0:26

On the bright side, at least you realized you were on a date before you drove into lock-up.

perdix 29

Friday 24 August 2012 0:26

Some girls like it when you push their heads down ;)

bstudds 1

Friday 24 August 2012 11:21

your comments pretty much always make me laugh

SeniorHaG 4

Friday 24 August 2012 0:28

You forgot the handcuffs.

fatalwish 6

Friday 24 August 2012 0:29

lol you have the right....

Zangetsu67 5

Friday 24 August 2012 0:29

Awkward

MariusA 2

Friday 24 August 2012 0:37

One of the best FML, Classic! You have the right...

HonestWalnut 3

Friday 24 August 2012 0:37

Bridesmaids much?

Hockeyboy4280 18

Friday 24 August 2012 0:49

I was thinking the same! Haha. Officer Rhodes.

PhishloverA 14

Friday 24 August 2012 0:44

Hahahaha

midcoder007 0

Friday 24 August 2012 0:45

lol

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Today, I finally had a breakthrough in therapy and got some much needed clarity in my life. After breaking away from the fear-based religious indoctrination that I’d been force-fed my entire life, I came to the conclusion that I regret every decision I’ve ever made, including the husband I accepted. FML

agreeclassic 878

vote type 1 216

Today, at work, I tried to sneakily open a bag of chips I had hidden in my desk drawer. The bag decided to explode as soon as I tore it open, sending chips flying everywhere. My boss chose that exact moment to walk by and saw me on the floor, frantically picking up chips. FML

agreeclassic 172

vote type 1 426

Today, I was shopping at my workplace, out of uniform, with my husband. A customer recognised me and wanted me to serve him, but I couldn't since we can be fired for doing so while off-duty. He complained to my manager, who wasted no time publicly bitching me out. FML

agreeclassic 38 303

vote type 1 2 669

Today, the lights went out at the gym while I was holding a heavy bar. I tried to put it back on the rack, missed, and dropped it on my toe. Then, as I was limping around in pain, I hit my head on one of the other bars on a rack at head height. FML

agreeclassic 459

vote type 1 101

Today, in front of the entire family, I yelled at my mom and told her she wasn't a good parent. She responded with "Well, at least I had friends when I was your age." FML

agreeclassic 21 016

vote type 1 52 143

Today, my date came to pick me up for a date. As I was getting into his car, a large blister on my foot burst. My foot is now swimming in a pool of hot, liquid pus. FML

agreeclassic 24 881

vote type 1 3 095

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