Miscellaneous: Today, after getting rear ended by a car, I texted my husband... - FML

By Mariah Heimann - 15/12/2011 03:34 - United States

Today, after getting rear ended by a car, I texted my husband to let him know I was in the hospital. His response? "I'm at Taco Bell." FML

agreeclassic 33 130

vote type 1 3 386

End-of-year festivities: New Year's Eve fun and frolics
End the year on a high note with anecdotes where every New Year's Eve firecracker is synonymous with laughter! More…

Previous FML Next FML

Similar FMLs

By Jimseagoon - 03/09/2018 20:30

Today, my wife took me to Taco Bell for the first time. I said, "Isn't this where all those FMLs happen to people?" She said, "You'll be fine." I am writing this from the toilet. I am not fine. FML

agreeclassic 2 864

vote type 1 450

By Anonymous - 18/08/2016 20:44 - United States - High Point

Today, while driving to a client's home, I received a text. Since I loathe those who text and drive, I pulled into a convenience store's parking lot. While I was texting, a car sped into the lot, rear-ending my car. FML

agreeclassic 16 357

vote type 1 1 145

It was the painkillers, I swear

By laurenh211 - 17/11/2020 17:02 - United Kingdom

Today, my husband came home from the hospital after having painful surgery, so I decided to make him a nice big breakfast. As I was taking it up to him, I heard a message on the phone. It was from one of his nurses. She was accepting his offer of a date. FML

agreeclassic 1 316

vote type 1 88

By anonymouss - 24/05/2009 22:14 - United States

Today, I collided heads at a soccer game and needed 13 stitches in my head. I texted all my contacts to let them know I was in the hospital. I got back one response that said "bitch got what you deserve" it was from my cousin. No one else ever texted me back. FML

agreeclassic 52 573

vote type 1 26 380

By man - 08/05/2009 21:46 - United States

Today, I was hit by a car. I called my girlfriend from the hospital and asked her if she could pick me up. She responded by saying "Fuck you, you aways tell me what to do!" and hung up. FML

agreeclassic 64 397

vote type 1 10 389

Supportive

By Anonymous - 28/09/2022 13:00 - United Kingdom - Bury

Today, I was involved in a car crash. When I told him, my boyfriend was more interested in what he was going to have for lunch. FML

agreeclassic 986

vote type 1 133

By anon - 31/12/2012 18:13 - United States - Gilroy

Today, my boyfriend knocked into me with his car. I drove myself to the hospital because he couldn't stop laughing long enough to drive. FML

agreeclassic 34 261

vote type 1 3 147

By KobraKommander - 17/03/2010 11:51 - France

Today, I rear-ended a car while I was texting about the accident ahead which was causing all the traffic. FML

agreeclassic 7 511

vote type 1 92 620

By OH COME ON - 29/12/2011 15:48 - United States

Today, I texted my boyfriend on the way to the hospital to tell him I needed stitches, after my brother's dog bit me on the breast. His response? "Pics or it didn't happen." FML

agreeclassic 33 770

vote type 1 5 559

By anon - 21/06/2014 12:50 - United States - Edison

Today, I got hit by a car while walking into the hospital to visit my wife, who had also gotten hit by a car. FML

agreeclassic 62 954

vote type 1 4 865

Next

TOP COMMENTS

KristantheGreat 5

Thursday 15 December 2011 8:52

tell him to bring you a taco.

WCARlover 34

Thursday 15 December 2011 8:52

Haha well you were cutting in on the mans meal time!

Comments

demon_865 7

Thursday 15 December 2011 18:59

Don't worry service there is really fast haha

biasedshooter 24

Thursday 15 December 2011 19:07

What did you want? How should he have known to drop everything in an instant for a request not even made?

bubo_fml 10

Thursday 15 December 2011 19:31

There are times when you cannot get between a boy & his burrito...

darkspider7 2

Thursday 15 December 2011 19:50

He is a keeper

moomoomeow2 7

Thursday 15 December 2011 21:00

I hope you'll be ok!

murdersquirrel 15

Friday 16 December 2011 0:31

Yeah and you need to give people more info than 'I'm at the hospital.' just call or have someone call if you can't. Argh, that just leaves the other person wondering.

Superllama12 11

Friday 16 December 2011 2:14

Well, what did you expect to get??

argybargy 3

Friday 16 December 2011 5:15

Don't you mean "EX-husband"?

easton222 2

Friday 16 December 2011 6:22

U got rear ended not shot. Drama queen much?

mrbuddy 0

Friday 16 December 2011 6:41

Wha! Cry a little more.

4
5
6
7
8
9

VDM sur Facebook

Keywords

Miscellaneous Stalker My ex Coworkers Love Internet Relatable AITA Awkward Pokémon Work Parenting Kids Annoying Shopping Underwear Jealousy Parents Thief Sex Intimacy Suspicious Family NSFW Birthday Gifts I need your advice Accident Abuse Moving home

Top

Top

Today, and like every month, my husband goes through the wastebasket and checks my used pads for proof that I’m not lying about being on my period to get out of sex, all because once, I didn’t feel like having sex and said I was on my period, even though I wasn’t. He found out I lied because he saw my clean pad. FML

agreeclassic 1 038

vote type 1 941

Today, my teenage son taught my five-year-old daughter how to fake her own death. I walked into the kitchen today to find her lying still on the floor, covered in ketchup. She laughed when I began to scream. FML

agreeclassic 46 071

vote type 1 4 748

Today, I had to have the awkward conversation with my wife of 20-plus years that the reason I’ve lost interest in sex is because our sex life has been mind numbingly boring for at least 15 of those years, always the same positions, never wanting to try anything new, just so boring. FML

agreeclassic 952

vote type 1 1 463

Today, I called my mother crying, telling her how my husband has apparently been cheating on me for months. To my surprise, she didn't interrupt me or cut me off the whole time. Only when she didn't respond, did I realize she'd hung up a half an hour ago. FML

agreeclassic 54 579

vote type 1 6 039

Today, I got stuck in an elevator with a stranger. We made awkward small talk until the elevator started smelling like something was burning. Turns out, the elevator was overheating. We had to spend 30 minutes stuck there, and I learned way too much about this guy’s weird foot fungus. FML

agreeclassic 392

vote type 1 60

Today, I found out that the little bumps on the child seats in the Wal-Mart shopping carts are spaced just enough that they can crack my brand new phone's screen past its screen protector in two places. FML

agreeclassic 322

vote type 1 211