Health, Gross and Party: Tasty

Tasty

By Anonymous - 06/11/2009 14:31 - Denmark

Today, at a party, a fly flew into my mouth. I spat it out, and in an effort to wash my mouth out, I grabbed the can of coke that was on the table next to me. Apparently people had been spitting in there and using it as an ashtray. FML

agreeclassic 35 763

vote type 1 9 833

Winter: Snow and Funny News
Snuggle up and laugh with our winter stories, where snow isn't the only thing sliding around! More…

Previous FML Next FML

Similar FMLs

By laurenmichela - 12/10/2015 21:47 - United Kingdom

Today, I coughed so much I threw up, then whilst recovering from throwing up, a fly flew into my mouth and I ate it. I then promptly threw up again. FML

agreeclassic 26 650

vote type 1 2 102

Big tasty

By reisz618 - 31/05/2019 07:00

Today, I was at a barbecue and, unbeknownst to me, took a bite of really hot bacon. In my ensuing panic, I grabbed and took a swig of my friend's beer. It wasn't beer, at least not any more. She was using it as an ashtray, and I got a mouthful of cigarette butts. FML

agreeclassic 1 691

vote type 1 612

By jess - 07/03/2010 14:08 - South Africa

Today, I had a sip of my coffee and felt a lump of some kind enter my mouth. I thought it was a bit of biscuit, and then remembered I didn't have biscuits this morning with my coffee. I took it out of my mouth and it was a huge black fly. I then spat the rest of my coffee all over my laptop. FML

agreeclassic 30 041

vote type 1 4 698

Tasty snack

By Thatkid - 18/02/2009 14:29 - Singapore

Today, my friend had a Coke can on his desk in class. It was empty but I was thirsty so I picked it up thinking I could try to get that little bit of Coke always left at the bottom. When I took a sip I found out he had been picking his fingernails and putting them in the can. FML

agreeclassic 18 709

vote type 1 56 645

By blegh - 16/01/2009 04:57 - Switzerland

Today, I reached for my beer and took a huge swallow before I realized that I had picked up my friend's tobacco spit cup. "Vomit" is not a strong enough word to describe what happened next. FML

agreeclassic 27 867

vote type 1 6 278

By westwoodcosmo - 27/01/2016 22:35 - United States - Mesa

Today, I took a swig of my Dr Pepper while having a meeting with my manager. As soon as I was about to swallow, I began coughing, and spat a whole mouthful all over her face. FML

agreeclassic 19 342

vote type 1 3 623

By Anonymous - 08/09/2011 19:51 - United States

Today, I went to my favorite drive-in burger joint for dinner. As I was nearing the end of my burger, I grabbed a cup from the cup holder that I thought was filled with soda. Instead, I got a mouthful of dip spit that a friend left in my car. FML

agreeclassic 33 420

vote type 1 8 021

By dumbblonde - 06/08/2009 03:04 - United States

Today, I was sitting at the computer when this really annoying fly kept landing on the keyboard. After a while, I took the bottom of a pen and squished it. Twenty minutes later I absentmindedly started chewing at the bottom of the pen. FML

agreeclassic 16 278

vote type 1 62 351

By Kristen Duncan - 01/08/2017 20:00 - United States - Spokane

Today, I just drank a sip of beer and felt something so I spit it out... It was an earwig. FML

agreeclassic 4 554

vote type 1 432

Freeze!

By Anonymous - 03/06/2024 06:00 - United States - Macon

Today, I was craving a cold Coke, so I grabbed one from the freezer where I had put it to chill quickly. As soon as I opened it, the can exploded all over me and the kitchen. I spent the next hour cleaning sticky residue off the floor, surrounding furniture, and even the ceiling. FML

agreeclassic 279

vote type 1 462

perstephane 4

Friday 6 November 2009 20:31

Gross - but that's why you don't drink random things at parties. That, and a million other reasons...

perdix 29

Friday 6 November 2009 20:33

You probably gave that fly lung cancer!

Comments

volleyballchick9_fml 0

Wednesday 29 December 2010 21:48

OMFG that is soooo gross

bluemoongirl 4

Friday 8 July 2011 22:31

what tasted better??? the fly or the spitty ash try?!!??

DearAdalia 1

Sunday 10 July 2011 6:25

I've drank ash before D:

helpfulperson 9

Friday 12 April 2013 21:58

YDI for trying to drink someone else's drink

cwl727 32

Monday 7 April 2014 21:30

Gross but you also deserve it for grabbing a random open can of coke.

welp_alright 15

Friday 30 October 2015 14:56

Just another reason to never drink random things at parties

Boomi 38

Tuesday 15 November 2016 7:36

Why did you grab a random can sitting on a table when you're at a party?

VDM sur Facebook

Keywords

Miscellaneous Stalker My ex Coworkers Love Internet Relatable AITA Pokémon Awkward Work Kids Parenting Annoying Shopping Underwear Jealousy Parents Thief Intimacy Suspicious Sex Family NSFW Birthday Gifts I need your advice Accident Abuse Moving home

Top

Today, I got pulled over on the highway for going over the speed limit. The cop seemed nice, and I was sure he'd let me off with a warning, until my husband piped up with, "Didn't think you folks came out this far. What, the donut store got shut down or some shit?" I got the ticket. FML

agreeclassic 51 467

vote type 1 7 302

Today, my son-in-law slapped my daughter, so I put him in an armhold and threw him outside. My daughter refused to press charges so he got away, but then he pressed charges against me for hitting his head against the wall when I threw him, so I got arrested instead. Justice is a shitting joke. FML

agreeclassic 1 585

vote type 1 209

Today, I went to the arcade with my dad, and we decided to try out the hurricane simulator, which blasts 60mph air around in an enclosed space. My dad farted halfway through. FML

agreeclassic 48 704

vote type 1 5 140

Today, I had to perform a skit in my class in which I have to wear tight spandex compression shorts. The class laughed pretty hard, and I felt like I had done a good job. Afterward, a girl I have a crush on said, "So the stereotype about Asian guys IS true." Through the fluorescent lights you could see my junk. FML

agreeclassic 85 470

vote type 1 11 927

Today, my 4 year-old daughter was looking at a magazine cover with a well endowed model showing off her cleavage. She looked at me and said, "Mommy, when I grow up, will I have big round boobies like her or tiny pointy ones like you?" FML

agreeclassic 36 571

vote type 1 4 817

Today, while babysitting a five year-old, I found a cartoon called Metalocalypse for him to watch while I made dinner. I didn't realize it was an "adult" cartoon until afterwards. He watched a whole episode about a clown with a cocaine problem. FML

agreeclassic 15 627

vote type 1 58 176