Intimacy: Talk to me baby - FML

Talk to me baby

By fizzie101 - 18/10/2014 21:43 - United States - San Francisco

Spicy

Today, I walked in on my boyfriend jerking off to what I thought was porn on his phone. He was actually beating it to Siri's voice. FML

agreeclassic 44 526

vote type 1 4 699

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By Anonymous - 17/12/2017 01:30

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By Ob3nie - 14/07/2014 17:45 - United States - San Francisco

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Today, me and my boyfriend decided to have some fun in my room before my parents got home. My phone started vibrating half-way through, and when I saw my mom's picture, I reflexively answered. It wasn't a phone call. It was a FaceTime. Busted. FML

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By Anonymous - 21/04/2016 20:28 - United States - Fremont

Spicy

Today, I was video chatting with my boyfriend, when his doorbell rang. He said it was his friend and that he'd be back soon. He shut off his video feed but forgot to mute his audio. A few minutes later, I heard him and some orgasm-faking girl getting it on in the background. FML

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Classic Dave

By Sarahir - 29/04/2020 05:00

Spicy

Today, I walked in on my husband masturbating into the kitchen sink. FML

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By XxMe123xx - 19/08/2010 00:51 - France

Spicy

Today, my boyfriend decided it would be funny to record us having sex and me screaming his name. He set it as my ringtone without telling me. I had my phone volume on high as I was hanging out with my family. FML

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By Anonymous - 13/11/2010 05:21 - Canada

Spicy

Today, while eating dinner with my family, I found out my boyfriend recorded me screaming while having sex with him on my phone, and set it as my ring tone on high volume. FML

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Next

TOP COMMENTS

namyo 13

Sunday 19 October 2014 15:51

Siri who is a naughty girl? "I am sir"

xnikkilynn 11

Sunday 19 October 2014 15:52

"I can't find that location."

Comments

prettyinpinkxoxo 9

Monday 20 October 2014 16:38

What a Siri-ous situation!

shinikageWolf 15

Monday 20 October 2014 19:43

Did he ask you to talk like that?

kiaora_fml 11

Tuesday 21 October 2014 2:53

Thats what he said....most inventive excuse ever OP!

JodogX13 13

Tuesday 21 October 2014 5:08

At least you don't have to try hard to make him happy

nikmiester 7

Saturday 25 October 2014 11:30

You're obviously doing something wrong

Triston4ever 5

Monday 27 October 2014 15:05

well if he had the door locked I mean...

lolol123_fml 13

Wednesday 29 October 2014 15:57

Nekminet marries the iPhone

Ashtefer 1

Saturday 1 November 2014 16:45

hey better than another girl

BLEED_MY_SOUL_07 9

Friday 14 November 2014 5:45

Dafuq?

ross_tu4b 5

Tuesday 6 January 2015 5:07

what the actual **** did i just read?

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Keywords

Miscellaneous Stalker My ex Coworkers Love Internet Relatable AITA Pokémon Awkward Work Parenting Kids Annoying Shopping Underwear Jealousy Parents Thief Sex Intimacy Suspicious Family NSFW Birthday Gifts I need your advice Accident Abuse Moving home

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Top

Today, my mom was on the phone while we went grocery shopping. Apparently, her phone call was more important because she just left me stranded in the store. FML

agreeclassic 388

vote type 1 92

Today, my roommate thought it would be a good idea to show me his huge new tarantula despite knowing that I have extremely severe arachnophobia. I ended up killing it with a book and apparently now owe him $500. FML

agreeclassic 33 200

vote type 1 18 262

Today, I was showing my boyfriend some stuff I bought that day: a new thong and a bag of his favorite brand of peanuts. He was more excited about the peanuts. FML

agreeclassic 22 326

vote type 1 5 141

Today, we had a group of friends over, as well as my grandma. She started talking about me when I was a kid, when I suddenly heard her saying, "Well, yeah, she wasn’t a beautiful child, not at all, she looked.… OK." FML

agreeclassic 866

vote type 1 102

Today, I passed out when my blood sugar dropped. Three times. And each time, my roommate, who was right next to me, just let me fall because he liked the way my face looked. FML

agreeclassic 38 721

vote type 1 4 690

Today, my landlord informed me that from now on, she'd prefer if I paid my rent in cash each month. Apparently, I "look sketchy" and she didn't "ever want to deal with the hassle of a bounced check." FML

agreeclassic 23 621

vote type 1 2 288