Love: Smooth

Smooth

By Rhine - 16/12/2012 23:51 - Barbados - Bridgetown

Today, at a Christmas party, my crush came up to me and cutely pointed out that I was standing under mistletoe. The only response my stupid brain could think of was, "Probably full of nargles though." He gave me a confused look and walked away. FML

agreeclassic 33 196

vote type 1 15 079

Christmas: Snowy Joys and Blunders
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By Anonymous - 27/12/2012 02:09 - United States - Roswell

Today, at a post-Christmas party, I saw a cute girl standing underneath a mistletoe. I walked up to her and pointed out that we were both standing under a mistletoe. She looked at me, winced, and quickly walked away. FML

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By Anonymous - 26/12/2014 01:24 - United States - Dallas

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By Anonymous - 13/09/2016 16:33 - United States - Orlando

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By Anonymous - 22/02/2014 02:47 - United States - Irvine

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By Anonymous - 29/11/2014 16:28 - United States - Portland

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By Maria - 14/03/2017 15:00 - United Kingdom - York

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PUA in training

By Anonymous - 26/01/2025 00:00 - United States

Today, I tried to use a corny pickup line on my crush, but my mind blanked and instead of, "Did it hurt when you fell from heaven?" I blurted, "Did you fall?" He just stared at me and said, "What?" FML

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By MADfml - 26/02/2009 03:12 - United States

Today, I went to my crushes Mardi Gras party. He was handing out beads to all the girls at the party that flashed him. When he came around to me he stopped and said "I will give you these beads NOT to flash me." FML

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Cool moves

By littlegirl - 07/05/2011 04:46 - Canada

Today, I was sitting with my crush at lunch. Trying to flirt, I tried to stare seductively into his eyes while sucking on my straw. I missed. The straw shot straight up my nose, causing me the worst nose bleed of my life. FML

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Nice try

By damn... - this FML is from back in 2008 but it's good stuff - United Kingdom

Today, I was at a job conference. At lunch, I saw this stunning guy. At dessert time, I coughed so much that the piece of chocolate cake in my mouth went straight onto his glasses. I think it's too late to introduce myself now. FML

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fenixtorador1 11

Monday 17 December 2012 9:01

What did you expect from a muggle?

ayamekiba 13

Monday 17 December 2012 9:08

Ignore the muggle, you should of followed it with 'my name might not be luna but i know how to lovegood.'

Comments

miniski5 11

Friday 22 February 2013 5:52

Aahhhhhh i see what u did there xD lol. I love harry potter

LonelyLassie 4

Thursday 18 April 2013 4:40

If he didn't get it, he wasn't worth it. I would have kissed ya ;)

AgentPlatypus73 8

Saturday 27 July 2013 0:38

Well if he didn't get it, then you deserve better.

functional 13

Sunday 28 July 2013 11:21

no regrets, honey

guttedbrit 26

Sunday 4 August 2013 17:03

Screw it if he isn't a Harry Potter fan ;)

nursetonks 3

Sunday 1 September 2013 8:38

Muggles just don't understand

erin37 27

Tuesday 3 September 2013 9:33

Your crush doesn't deserve you

RemusJLupin 8

Tuesday 24 September 2013 0:34

marry me.

poprocks1999 6

Sunday 6 October 2013 1:07

Don't forget your spectra-specs

evilamoebaattack 20

Tuesday 19 November 2013 17:36

and i love you, random citizen!

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agreeclassic 13 872

vote type 1 57 293

Today, I had the crap beaten out of me by a woman in the street, who accused me of sleeping with her husband. I still don't know who she or her husband are, and I'm still a virgin. FML

agreeclassic 32 065

vote type 1 1 964

Today, I got tired of my girlfriend always leaving the conversation when we chat, so I changed my number and email address, and texted her under a different name. We talked for hours non stop. Should I tell her it's me? FML

agreeclassic 356

vote type 1 140

Today, I had yet another debilitating migraine that kept me awake. In the middle of the night, I heard an owl hooting. Thinking it was cool, I moved closer to the open window to hear better. After a few minutes, I realized it was actually my new neighbor having loud sex. My aunt moved in next door. FML

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vote type 1 2 349

Today, I found out my boyfriend is cheating on me. His excuse was that I never had time for his needs anymore. He’s unemployed but I guess me working and studying to get my degree so we could move out of his parents’ house was too much. Now I have no place to go. FML

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Today, I took a nap, and I had a dream that my ex-girlfriend got back together with me. I woke up in a great mood. When I went back to bed, I dreamed that she broke up with me, again. FML

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vote type 1 6 218