Health, Injury, Ironic and Miscellaneous: Sliced and diced

Sliced and diced

By ShowOff - 11/03/2010 08:13 - United Kingdom

Today, I tried to demonstrate to my friend how laughably dull our kitchen knives are by swiping one across my palm. Turns out Dad noticed the problem yesterday and sharpened them. FML

agreeclassic 11 200

vote type 1 53 591

End-of-year festivities: New Year's Eve fun and frolics
End the year on a high note with anecdotes where every New Year's Eve firecracker is synonymous with laughter! More…

Previous FML Next FML

Similar FMLs

By Anonymous - 16/05/2019 22:00

Today, I learned how to sharpen a knife. I sharpened it so well that it went through my finger like a lightsaber. FML

agreeclassic 1 664

vote type 1 497

Stay out of the kitchen

By Anonymous - 19/11/2022 00:00

Today, as part of his crusade to drive me mad by “helping” in the kitchen, my dad used an entire bottle of expensive olive oil I brought from Greece to make fried bread for his breakfast, and he used the edge of my Japanese chef's knife to loosen a screw, so it now has a giant hairline crack. FML

agreeclassic 1 172

vote type 1 131

By Prae - 01/10/2012 05:47 - United States - Dallas

Today, I washed the dishes for my mom while she was out, as they seemed to be piling up. I accidentally sliced my hand with a knife in the process. After a trip to the hospital, it was revealed she'd been leaving those dishes there "to teach dad a lesson." FML

agreeclassic 24 705

vote type 1 2 122

Put it away

By Anonymous - 27/10/2019 22:00

Today, I managed to cut myself twice with a Swiss army knife. Stabbed in one hand and sliced a finger on the other. Good to know it's super sharp. FML

agreeclassic 1 019

vote type 1 991

911 please

By hurts - 04/05/2009 18:48 - Canada

Today, I was helping my friend wash dishes. As I went to grab some tongs to dry them, I impaled my forearm on a knife that was sticking blade up. My friend wanted to finish the dishes before taking me to the hospital. FML

agreeclassic 66 686

vote type 1 4 995

By Anonymous - 13/08/2019 02:00 - United Kingdom

Today, I was helping tidy up after my girlfriend's flat warming. I went to put a sharp kitchen knife in the sink while she was washing dishes, and stabbed her in the finger instead. FML

agreeclassic 1 145

vote type 1 1 001

Gammon

By Anonymous - 24/10/2022 06:00

Today, while demonstrating our new meat slicer at work, and after sharpening the blade at the end of the demonstration, I noticed some metal powder. I grabbed a rag to wipe it off, not realizing the blade was still in the “open” position. I now have six stitches and a really painful finger. FML

agreeclassic 319

vote type 1 969

Pointless

By Anonymous - 19/07/2024 13:00 - United States - Bakersfield

Today, I was simply trying to fix my skateboard wheels with my pocket knife. The tip suddenly broke off, leaving me horrified. It was my favorite knife, which I inherited from my dad who abandoned me when I was 4. FML

agreeclassic 338

vote type 1 400

By cabatt - 13/01/2019 04:00

Today, I'm a chef and I had a new set of knives delivered. My boss says to me, ''Be careful with your new knives, they're going to be sharp. You don't want to cut your nail off.'' Not 2 minutes later I chop my whole nail off my right index. He jinxed me. FML

agreeclassic 2 228

vote type 1 985

Slicy slicy

By nessacadesa - 24/03/2009 04:47 - United States

Today, I was telling my younger brother and sister how important it is to know how to use a knife properly, all while slicing potatoes. Just as I was saying how stupid people can be with knives, the potato slipped on the counter. I sliced open my hand while talking about knife safety. FML

agreeclassic 22 993

vote type 1 58 502

itsme88 0

Thursday 11 March 2010 16:13

Duh, you can cut yourself with a dull knife as well. YDI.

Boddmon 0

Thursday 11 March 2010 16:15

You should have demonstrated on your neck instead of your palm. Perhaps then the punishment for your stupidity would have been more suitable.

Comments

plzustink 0

Friday 12 March 2010 2:18

FML blows... cant see comments on my iPod unless I comment myself...

elizanena9 0

Friday 12 March 2010 2:57

seriously. That's so stupid. You should probably know that dull knives are more dangerous than sharp ones.

BeatNik169 3

Friday 12 March 2010 2:58

What is wrong with you?

marycharles 0

Friday 12 March 2010 4:03

you are on CRAZY MEDICINE! are u stupid?

Official_Person 0

Friday 12 March 2010 4:35

Low self-esteem is serious business. YDI, you should know that knives can be harmful, even if dull.

MrFagHole 0

Friday 12 March 2010 4:46

YDI for trying to impress your friends fat asshole

nicolebenaa 0

Friday 12 March 2010 5:51

why would you do that? haha

13__Loki__13 1

Friday 12 March 2010 5:59

Next time try it on your nuts. Do the world a favor.

MySimplicity 0

Friday 12 March 2010 6:30

OP, shouldnt you have tried to cut something with the knife first? you totally deserved it

f0ckstupidposts 0

Friday 12 March 2010 7:31

well what did you expect was doing to happen... either way its still a sharper than normal peice of steel maybe next time demonstrate on a tomato... they are red too