Customers, Weird and Work: Paranoid

Paranoid

By MaddyN - this FML is from back in 2014 but it's good stuff - United States - Forest Grove

Today, I almost got fired from work because a customer complained that I "threw up gang signs" at him. I was blocking the sun from my eyes. FML

agreeclassic 47 058

vote type 1 3 538

Christmas: Snowy Joys and Blunders
Enjoy Christmas stories where unexpected gifts and family reunions create lasting memories... and fun! More…

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By supersmashpika - this FML is from back in 2015 but it's good stuff - United States - Hershey

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There was an attempt…

By JoshTheUnluckyFromKentucky - this FML is from back in 2014 but it's good stuff - United States - Folsom

Today, I got on the bus to go to work. I managed to get a seat, but an old lady who looked tired had to stand. I offered her my seat, but she glared at me, frowned and said, "Go fuck yourself." Everyone laughed as I sat there in dismay. FML

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Stoner in disguise

By Anonymous - this FML is from back in 2015 but it's good stuff - United States - Rowlett

Today, I found out that mishearing my boss and laughing at what I thought he said can make him think I'm high and nearly force me to submit to a drug test. FML

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Right back!

By Anonymous - this FML is from back in 2017 but it's good stuff

Today, while I was eating spicy wings, I suddenly sneezed. I was sitting in front of a fan and effectively maced myself when my spicy sneeze blew back into my face and eyes. FML

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CrikOgresmasher 19

Tuesday 8 July 2014 11:36

I once was accused of being a Nazi for the same reason

PiinkVanilla 15

Tuesday 8 July 2014 11:35

Next time, block the sun with your middle finger. That'll really impress! :D

Comments

shutupshane12 12

Thursday 10 July 2014 17:38

Move sun get out da way

welshey 2

Thursday 10 July 2014 23:55

You shoulda knocked his ass out and been all "Squadd shit mayn."

MiissAshleyy 19

Friday 11 July 2014 10:43

west siiiiideee!!

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Keywords

Miscellaneous Stalker My ex Coworkers Love Internet Relatable AITA Pokémon Awkward Work Kids Parenting Annoying Shopping Underwear Jealousy Parents Thief Intimacy Suspicious Sex Family NSFW Birthday Gifts I need your advice Accident Abuse Moving home

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Today, I overheard my brother telling his friend that having sex with a girl who's on the pill gives the guy female hormones and "turns you into like, half-chick, half-dude." He was serious. How am I related to this moron? FML

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vote type 1 3 104

Today, I discovered why there was such a horrible stench in my bedroom. My cat had a secret stash of shit under my dresser. Along with the carcass of a rat. FML

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vote type 1 307

Today, my boyfriend broke up with me, severing all forms of communication but one: Words With Friends. FML

agreeclassic 28 094

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Today, I went to my favorite drive-in burger joint for dinner. As I was nearing the end of my burger, I grabbed a cup from the cup holder that I thought was filled with soda. Instead, I got a mouthful of dip spit that a friend left in my car. FML

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Today, I found out that my very expensive and beautiful smelling perfume attracts wasps. Whenever I go out, wherever I am, I am followed by multiple wasps. FML

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Today, my coworker and I were written up after we dropped a glass table, which shattered and left us with big cuts on our hands and arms. We weren’t written up for breaking the piece, but because a nearby customer heard us both swear in pain and reported us. FML

agreeclassic 5 465

vote type 1 333

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