Out of the frying pan…

By Anonymous - 16/10/2025 20:00

Today, after a five day bout of severe chronic constipation, I decided to get some orange juice and increase my water intake. The good news is that I'm no longer constipated. The bad news is that I've got diarrhea now. FML.

agreeclassic 339

vote type 1 110

Christmas: Snowy Joys and Blunders
Enjoy Christmas stories where unexpected gifts and family reunions create lasting memories... and fun! More…

Previous FML Next FML

Similar FMLs

By Me - 20/06/2011 16:14 - United States

Today, I finally went to the bathroom after being constipated for two days. The good news? I lost two pounds. The bad news? The toilet won't flush. FML

agreeclassic 39 521

vote type 1 5 630

By Anonymous - 01/06/2016 11:05 - Canada - Saint-laurent

Today, I've been chronically constipated so long that I was actually grateful for the sudden blast of diarrhea that ruined my pants. FML

agreeclassic 10 526

vote type 1 869

Slid right out

By Tabby Rosas - 21/02/2021 21:30

Today, after 8 days of being on a medication that makes it hard to go to the bathroom and no luck taking laxatives and drinking coffee and apple juice, I finally got to go. Too bad I was at my desk at work when it happened. I washed out my pants in the bathroom and got to sit in wet pants for 4 hours. FML

agreeclassic 1 133

vote type 1 91

The Gush

By Anonymous - 10/10/2019 22:01

Today, I had planned to do a twenty-minute colon cleanse enema for weight loss. Instead, I woke up in the middle of the night with uncontrollable diarrhea that’s still going strong. Eight hours and counting. FML

agreeclassic 762

vote type 1 2 068

Plumbing issues

By Anonymous - 27/08/2021 04:01 - Denmark - Viby

Today, I'm constipated AND having diarrhea at the same time. It feels like I'm going to explode. FML

agreeclassic 829

vote type 1 80

By Anonymous - 26/10/2015 04:42

Today, after finishing a bottle and a half of pure cranberry juice to flush my bladder for a possible infection, I've been spewing liquid shits all day, my asshole burns, and it hurts to sit. FML

agreeclassic 23 555

vote type 1 5 759

First time for everything

By Anonymous - 02/02/2024 06:00 - United States - Hoffman

Today, I've been sneezing and coughing and not feeling well, so I decided to go to the grocery store to get some bone broth and some orange juice. Shortly after grabbing the orange juice, I felt like I had to pass gas, except it wasn't gas, it was diarrhea. At 35 years-old I pooped my pants in the grocery store. FML

agreeclassic 612

vote type 1 175

Two speeds

By Anonymous - 03/09/2024 23:00 - United States

Today, I've realized that I have two modes: Constipated, or ultra explosive diarrhea. FML

agreeclassic 446

vote type 1 68

Rolling thunder

By Dana - 21/11/2025 00:00

Today, it's been a week that I've had bad constipation. Overeating on my 16th birthday last week got me sick; since then I've pooped only once, and it took a hard push to go it out. Today I had my second poop. Good news: I did go. Bad: it happened on the bus home from school. My pals actually cheered when I finished straining. FML

agreeclassic 176

vote type 1 322

Two states of matter

By Anonymous - 15/09/2020 05:02 - Germany

Today, I learned that is it possible to be constipated and have diarrhea at the same time. You run to the toilet every half-hour, but almost nothing comes out and you feel so bloated you could burst, while eating almost nothing. FML

agreeclassic 1 395

vote type 1 145

Yudith 25

Friday 17 October 2025 23:35

You forgot the part where you took twenty laxative pills to cure your constipation.

Comments

Yudith 25

Friday 17 October 2025 23:35

You forgot the part where you took twenty laxative pills to cure your constipation.

VDM sur Facebook

Keywords

Miscellaneous Stalker My ex Coworkers Love Internet Relatable AITA Pokémon Awkward Work Parenting Kids Annoying Shopping Underwear Jealousy Parents Thief Sex Intimacy Suspicious Family NSFW Birthday Gifts I need your advice Accident Abuse Moving home

Top

Today, after having been told that I looked horrible for the last five months, I decided to give myself a make-over. As soon as the make-up artist was done, I told her I didn't like it, and that I still didn't like how I look. She simply replied: ''Well, I'm a make-up artist, not a magician!'' FML

agreeclassic 16 008

vote type 1 27 859

Today, I can at last cool off the house by opening my windows after one week of heatwave. Unfortunately, some asshat working for the city decided to repair the street, or rather bang bang bang on the pavement, right in front of them. From 10 pm to 6 am. Every night. For a week. They won't stop. FML

agreeclassic 383

vote type 1 105

Today, at the age of 22, I found out that Wednesday has another D in it. Literally no one ever corrected me. FML

agreeclassic 394

vote type 1 902

Today, my hormones are so screwed, I popped a boner at the sight of two grasshoppers mating and had to retire to my room for a wank. FML

agreeclassic 24 971

vote type 1 6 920

Today, a woman I work with asked me out. She is smart, funny, beyond gorgeous, and I’d be a fool to say no. Unfortunately, she has done jail time for smashing her last boyfriend's penis with a bat and he lost a testicle. What do I do? FML

agreeclassic 1 461

vote type 1 323

Today, I was out enjoying my daily jog, when out of nowhere, a group of kids in a passing car pelted me with ketchup-filled water balloons. FML

agreeclassic 46 079

vote type 1 4 279

Similar FMLs

TOP COMMENTS

Comments