Health and Painful: Ouch

Ouch

By Annalise - 16/12/2022 19:00 - Australia - Melbourne

Today, I jumped up to touch the ceiling, then I landed on one of my younger sibling's Lego. FML

agreeclassic 556

vote type 1 819

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Thrice the pain

By Anonymous - 12/06/2022 02:00

Today, I stepped on not one, not two, but three Legos, all on different occasions throughout the day. FML

agreeclassic 804

vote type 1 190

By Anonymous - 23/03/2013 23:47 - United States

Today, the kids I babysit hid from me. While I was looking for them, I stepped on multiple strategically-placed Lego bricks. When I yelped from the pain, the kids jumped out and threw soccer balls in my face. FML

agreeclassic 43 205

vote type 1 5 268

By Anonymous - 23/01/2010 23:18 - United States

Today, I came home to find my little sister had decided to play hopscotch under our carport. Feeling a small childish urge, I decided to hop on one leg to the front door. I tripped and fell, slicing my knee open. FML

agreeclassic 15 735

vote type 1 21 330

Slippery slope

By bailey1389 - 26/08/2020 02:02 - United States

Today, I slipped on my son's Hot Wheels cars and fell onto a building made out of Lego. I now have a fractured tailbone and a broken wrist. I called my husband to tell him what happened and all he could do was laugh. My son didn't leave them on the floor, my husband did. FML

agreeclassic 1 772

vote type 1 214

By Malpal - 23/01/2009 11:03 - United States

Today, I tried jumping off my bed over the footboard. I tripped and broke a full length mirror with my face. FML

agreeclassic 10 550

vote type 1 29 648

Coming through!

By SBT1030 - 23/07/2009 11:45 - United States

Today, I was helping my sister by getting some old boxes down from her attic. Too bad I didn't realize the piece of plywood I was standing on doesn't extend all over the attic floor. Of course, I did realize it when I went through the ceiling onto the concrete floor of her garage. FML

agreeclassic 41 552

vote type 1 5 651

Scream

By ??? - 04/01/2025 15:00 - United States - Buffalo

Today, I tried to prank my little brother by jumping out from behind a door to scare him. I ended up scaring myself when I caught a glimpse of my weirdly-lit reflection in a mirror mid-jump. FML

agreeclassic 86

vote type 1 565

Catch

By NaniNarcotic - this FML is from back in 2011 but it's good stuff - Australia

Today, I thought it'd be funny to knee my sister's ass as she was bending over. What I didn't realise was that she was trying to pick up a spider. In shock, she threw it in the air and it landed on my chest. I ran into a wall trying to get it off. FML

agreeclassic 8 970

vote type 1 74 296

By Anonymous - 29/11/2009 16:57 - United States

Today, my ceiling fan was rocking violently so I turned it off. I stood under it trying to figure out what the problem is, it fell on my face. FML

agreeclassic 36 581

vote type 1 13 149

By lacsmac2 - 01/11/2015 14:10 - Australia

Today, there was a huge spider on my ceiling, so I grabbed a shoe to deal with it. Just as I jumped up to smush it, my idiot brother flicked the light off. I missed the spider, but it didn't miss my face as the impact caused it to fall. FML

agreeclassic 23 630

vote type 1 2 690

Charlie Given 26

Friday 16 December 2022 13:22

And now you only have one foot because you sacrificed the other one to the Lego gods 🤣

Sonotsuave 35

Thursday 22 December 2022 6:16

Oof, a moment of silence for his foot

Comments

Charlie Given 26

Friday 16 December 2022 13:22

And now you only have one foot because you sacrificed the other one to the Lego gods 🤣

RichardPencil 30

Friday 16 December 2022 17:32

Lego my Eggo! Why are you molesting the ceiling? I'm sure your mom will delight in seeing your dirty handprint there.

Sonotsuave 35

Thursday 22 December 2022 6:16

Oof, a moment of silence for his foot

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Top

Today, a customer yelled at me because I wouldn’t sell her a boneless chicken bucket with extra fries, beans, coleslaw and Pepsi. I work at Subway. FML

agreeclassic 1 229

vote type 1 81

Today, I tried to take a piss in the woods, but ended up peeing all over my feet. I still had to hike another five hours in wet shoes. My boyfriend's only comment was, "At least you didn't wet your pants." FML

agreeclassic 13 338

vote type 1 26 755

Today, I realized I wasn't getting notifications for my voicemail, so I decided to check it and found out that I had 3 job offerings that are no longer an option. FML

agreeclassic 23 067

vote type 1 3 765

Today, my boyfriend refused to give me a kiss because he thinks I flirt with his cousin. I make small talk with him because my boyfriend is always leaving me alone with said cousin. I’m not attracted to him in the least. FML

agreeclassic 544

vote type 1 108

Today, I was on a first date with a girl at a lake. I felt my stomach rumble and knew I couldn’t make it to shore, so I dropped into the water and had violently diarrhea in the water. It started to bubble, and so I started splashing around, saying, “It’s cold” while she swam around me, in my shit water. I’ve never told her. FML

agreeclassic 1 143

vote type 1 462

Today, my dog was diagnosed with depression. I got him to help with my depression. I guess we can just be miserable together. FML

agreeclassic 33 335

vote type 1 3 110