Intimacy, Sex, Marriage, Relatable and Awkward: No fun - FML

No fun

By Blueballzwill - 14/10/2022 02:00

Spicy

Today, I still haven’t consummated my marriage with my new wife. She said no sex before marriage and I obliged for 2 long years. During our honeymoon, she kept making up excuses. Now when I sit down and talk to her, she calls me a “horny pervert” and accuses me of “using her for sex” and stormed off. FML

agreeclassic 1 944

vote type 1 550

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Just tradwife things

By Fapmaster - 07/01/2023 03:00

Spicy

Today, after a year and a half of sticking to my new wife’s “no-sex-before marriage” rule while we dated, she brushed me off while I tried to consummate the marriage. Apparently, she’s not ready to have kids yet and “semen will get the sheets dirty.” Guess I’ll be jerking it on my honeymoon. FML

agreeclassic 1 887

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Fishy

By Cheated - 05/09/2023 22:00

Spicy

Today, it’s my honeymoon. I waited patiently for a year and a half to have sex since I respected her “No sex before marriage” rule. However, my new wife has a new rule: “Sex is for procreation and I’m not ready to have children yet.” How much longer should I wait to make love to the one I love now? FML

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Not into it, sorry

By Foreverjerkingit - 11/09/2022 20:00

Spicy

Today, it was my wedding night. My new wife decided that she was going to be “asexual” because “there are other ways to show your love without sex” and “If you wanna bust a nut, that’s what your hand is for.” She had the nerve to be confused as to why I am upset. FML

agreeclassic 2 149

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Caught in 4K

By ScrewU - 17/08/2022 19:59 - United States

Spicy

Today, I got off early from work to catch my wife screwing her co-worker in our bed. I ask her what I did to deserve this. She told me she was “lonely” and that he “always makes her feel like a woman,” unlike me. She would come home from work and I would initiate intimacy, but she would decline every time. FML

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You must be joking

By Harrold - 28/11/2025 00:00

Today, my new wife and I got home from our honeymoon, and not an hour later she'd sat me down for a talk, saying, "Now that you're married you've got to act the part and give up this silly nonsense," then banned me from seeing my friends, playing video games, and basically everything else I ever enjoyed. FML

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Rejection erection

By paidback - 25/12/2009 01:10 - United States

Spicy

Today, I rejected my wife for sex. She then started to masturbate next to me. I got an erection. She then rejected me for sex. FML

agreeclassic 8 685

vote type 1 83 503

Last trip

By cap - 09/12/2019 01:00 - United States - Manhattan

Today, I had sex with my wife only to be told that the sex was horrible and to be given divorce papers. FML

agreeclassic 2 319

vote type 1 334

Permission granted and rejected

By Anonymous - 28/09/2023 04:00

Spicy

Today, my wife lost interest in sex a long time ago. I’ve tried to reignite her interest lately, which culminated in an argument where she gave me permission to go out and shag other women. We might as well divorce at this point if she’s going to say things like that. FML

agreeclassic 752

vote type 1 146

So frustrating!

By Marvin-jones - 02/03/2023 02:00

Spicy

Today, my wife accused me of using her for sex. I'd only just admitted to her two days ago that I've been struggling to get it up to try and perform, after a hospital stay and a month of almost no sexual contact. FML

agreeclassic 1 097

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Don't you want me, baby?

By Anonymous - 17/07/2021 00:01

Spicy

Today, it's been 10 months of a sexless marriage. Also my 10-month wedding anniversary. We waited until marriage, and she hasn't wanted me since. FML

agreeclassic 1 644

vote type 1 323

Next

TOP COMMENTS

AzraelAngelus 15

Friday 14 October 2022 3:04

Definitely a massive red flag and you should get an annulment

Chazzster 29

Friday 14 October 2022 2:38

Annulment

Comments

cuz803 44

Friday 14 October 2022 2:06

Pathetic...that's all folks...

Chazzster 29

Friday 14 October 2022 2:38

Annulment

ChrisCFS 12

Friday 14 October 2022 2:53

just cheat then

Charlie Given 26

Friday 14 October 2022 3:00

Your being played she's either a con artist or a dude or just using you time to get an annulment now!!

AzraelAngelus 15

Friday 14 October 2022 3:04

Definitely a massive red flag and you should get an annulment

maruespanol 16

Friday 14 October 2022 3:38

maybe she is just a guy🤣

neonpachyderm 13

Friday 14 October 2022 4:21

One word: annulment.

Crowned Sataness 12

Friday 14 October 2022 4:27

there's a big something she has not told you. annulment on grounds of false pretenses. don't waste any more time on her.

SamanthaThe1st 22

Friday 14 October 2022 4:32

How often are you asking?

Deacon123 3

Friday 14 October 2022 5:13

Yea. Being conned or played with.. Analment

bidet 9

Saturday 15 October 2022 4:20

"analment" - your Freudian slip is showing

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Today, while I was at my girlfriend's parents' house for dinner, and I thought no one was looking, I picked my nose and put it underneath my chair. Turns out she has a little brother who found it appropriate to point at me and scream, "Booger monster, Booger monster!" FML

agreeclassic 8 739

vote type 1 76 902

Today, I finally found out why my new co-worker has been shooting me dirty looks, being rude to me, and generally trying to avoid me. It's because I have blonde hair and blue eyes, and she thinks people like me are Nazis. FML

agreeclassic 28 001

vote type 1 1 742

Today, while working the drive-through at McDonald's, I was handing a gentleman his vanilla shake. He responded by popping the cap off, yelling "Fire in the hole!" and throwing it back in. He then quickly drove off. I was covered in vanilla shake. FML

agreeclassic 41 287

vote type 1 5 255

Today, my mom tried to ground me, even though I moved into my own flat to escape her. I told her 'my flat, my rules' so she tried to confiscate my Xbox because 'she’s the boss of me.' The look on her face as the cops took her away was worth the shouting match we’ll have when she makes bail. FML

agreeclassic 1 921

vote type 1 182

Today, I was at work and was in a conversation with some colleagues. I go to check my phone and accidentally clicked on the Safari app. Safari still had PornHub pulled up. FML

agreeclassic 261

vote type 1 1 428

Today, I thought it would be cute to put on a Santa hat and ask my crush what he wanted for Christmas. He said "A girlfriend." I took off my Santa hat and yelled "Ta-da!" He added, "An ATTRACTIVE girlfriend." FML

agreeclassic 44 441

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