Health: Nightmare mode - FML

Nightmare mode

By oliver - 27/01/2016 12:02 - United States

Today, I woke up with a pounding headache. My wife tells me that last night I woke up from a nightmare, screaming, tried to run away, and knocked myself out running headfirst into the bedroom wall. So she put me back to bed and went back to sleep. FML

agreeclassic 22 540

vote type 1 2 275

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Night terrors

By Tanisha Skye Regeling - 11/06/2020 23:02

Today, I woke up with a headache and a bruised forehead after my husband full-force elbowed me in the head last night in his sleep. It wouldn't be so bad, except for the fact he has zero memory of doing it. FML

agreeclassic 1 434

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By Monique - 10/04/2011 06:50 - United States

Today, my head has been killing me. I've had the worst headache ever. Happy that I could finally sleep, I plopped onto my bed and bashed my head on the wall. FML

agreeclassic 31 129

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By pizzafaceinc - 02/03/2010 02:24 - United States

Today, I woke up with a headache. My girlfriend said it might be from the night before, explaining she punched me while I was sleeping because I was snoring in her ear, and she dreamed a bee was attacking her. I'm not sure if I'm more concerned that she punched me, or that it didn't wake me. FML

agreeclassic 26 758

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By Fark - 27/05/2010 22:50 - United Kingdom

Today, I had a dream I was going the bathroom. I then woke up peeing, but I didn’t wet the bed yet. As I ran to the bathroom while half asleep and in the dark, I rammed into the wall. On my way back to bed, I tripped and accidentally slapped my fiancé in an effort to stop myself from falling over. FML

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By IngenuityAbsent - 22/02/2015 13:54 - Canada - Grimsby

Today, I had a dream where I whacked my head against my shelf. I woke up immediately after, freaked out and whacked my head against my shelf. FML

agreeclassic 33 252

vote type 1 4 762

By fearofzombies - 13/08/2009 18:17 - United States

Today, before I went to bed, I watched a terrifying movie with zombies. I woke up with a headache, a bloody nose, and my mom standing over me frantically asking me what was wrong. Apparently I had been "fighting the zombies off" in my sleep and had been punching myself in the face. FML

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Cold dish time

By Anonymous - 09/03/2022 04:00

Today, I woke up in the hospital with a mild concussion, a sprained neck, and a broken shoulder. How did this happen? Earlier, I ran into the guy I used to bully all throughout school. Once his wife realized who I was, she piledrived me. FML

agreeclassic 230

vote type 1 3 220

By Anonymous - 11/01/2018 19:00

Today, I fell asleep on the couch and my boyfriend thought it would be cute to carry me to bed. He knocked my head on the door frame and I pretended it didn't hurt because he felt so bad, but I shouldn't have. I was rushed to the hospital hours later with a concussion. FML

agreeclassic 4 955

vote type 1 682

By alycion - 17/06/2019 19:07

Today, I woke up with my face flying at the wall. A muscle spasm had caused me to pop out of bed. I'm now dealing with a concussion and sprained neck, thanks to an almost physically impossible feat. FML

agreeclassic 1 690

vote type 1 138

By StillDrowsy - 09/10/2009 12:29 - United States

Today, I woke up in the hallway. I took a sleeping pill the night before to get a good sleep in for work, but it turns out it was too strong. I got dizzy and passed out on my way to my bed, fell in the hall and chipped my two front teeth, and slept there - straight through work the next day. FML

agreeclassic 33 214

vote type 1 7 377

Next

TOP COMMENTS

Welshite 39

Wednesday 27 January 2016 18:05

Somehow I think you would be one of the first to go in a horror movie.

photogirlinlove 16

Wednesday 27 January 2016 18:05

She must think you're a real knockout.

Comments

rockydify 22

Thursday 28 January 2016 17:04

Your wife is awesome!

prized_loser 17

Friday 29 January 2016 3:25

i don't believe she's telling the truth.

EllyG 6

Friday 29 January 2016 3:43

At least your wife takes care of you.

MrZsDad 19

Friday 29 January 2016 19:31

Your wife is a keeper. lol

frankief97 5

Sunday 10 April 2016 20:35

That's probably the worst thing she could've done. What if he'd had concussion?!

CupidStunts 12

Thursday 15 June 2017 22:58

Concussion much?

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Today, I decided to go to a UV-light party dressed all in white. Before leaving, my little brother dumped a glass of tomato juice over my head saying, "Now you look just like a used tampon!" FML

agreeclassic 43 427

vote type 1 5 267

Today, I woke up fully clothed, trying to remember the night's events. I walk to the den to awkwardly ask my dad for a ride to my car and he points to the computer. A pic of me passed out on the bathroom floor is now our new wallpaper. My skirt was around my knees. He sent it to everyone we know. FML

agreeclassic 40 016

vote type 1 25 930

Today, I made a joke about my electric lawnmower sounding like a bunch of angry bees. It was verified when I ran over a beehive in my backyard. FML

agreeclassic 4 287

vote type 1 558

Today, I woke up after a night of drinking in my backyard. All I was wearing were my boxers and one sock. I staggered up to see my car halfway through my garage wall, with a note saying, "Sorry dude". FML

agreeclassic 14 379

vote type 1 42 563

Today, my boyfriend of one year broke up with me. He's been in jail for the last four months. I paid for his very expensive lawyer. FML

agreeclassic 17 840

vote type 1 42 221

Today, my dad was sat on my laptop in the living room trying to learn how to do some rewiring around the house when he, and I quote, ”clicked on the thing.” My laptop is now riddled with so many viruses it’s basically a house brick. FML

agreeclassic 732

vote type 1 150