New man

By Anonymous - 27/03/2024 17:00 - United States

Today, I arrived home, having just had my long hair cut and my beard shaved. My idiot daughter’s reaction when she saw me? “Who are you and how did you get in the house?” FML

agreeclassic 206

vote type 1 642

End-of-year festivities: New Year's Eve fun and frolics
End the year on a high note with anecdotes where every New Year's Eve firecracker is synonymous with laughter! More…

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By Anonymous - 02/04/2009 16:14 - United Kingdom

Today, I got my long hair cut in a short pixie cut. When my five year old daughter saw me she laughed and proclaimed 'You look just like a man!'. That afternoon I got a concerned call from the school. My daughter has told everyone 'mummy has gone away, I now have two daddies!' FML

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By Smoothskin - 19/09/2013 21:18 - Australia - Heidelberg

Today, I shaved my face after several months of growth. This would be OK if my 4-year-old daughter would still talk to me. Apparently she doesn't recognise me, and I'm scary. FML

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By Anonymous - 01/04/2016 21:06 - United States - Los Angeles

Today, I went to pick up my daughter from my dad's house. He'd shaved her head bald. "For a laugh." FML

agreeclassic 24 130

vote type 1 1 877

By superfiedman - 04/08/2009 08:40 - United States

Today, I came home at noon from a long night out. I was surprised to see a woman I didn't recognize standing in my living room in a brown dress and heels. As I walked up to the door and knocked to be let in, the woman whipped around and I figured out who it was. My dad. FML

agreeclassic 56 527

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By HeIsKindaRightTho - 16/09/2014 04:31 - United States - Houghton

Today, I video-chatted with my mom and showed her my new, very short haircut. My dad walked in, took one look at me and said, "I can only attribute this to penis envy," and walked out again. FML

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Make it work

By Anonymous - 23/10/2020 23:01 - United States - Georgetown

Today, I got my hair cut short, as it hasn’t been cut in well over a year and I was getting sick of dealing with it. I told the hairdresser I would probably look like a boy but she said it would look cute, and that she’d make sure it looks feminine. I loved how it came out, until the kid at CVS asked, “Can I help you sir?” FML

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Manic pixie dream girl

By now what - 13/07/2021 11:01 - United States

Today, I took my daughter to get the expensive pixie cut she’s been "dying" for. As soon as we got home, my husband burst into hysterical laughter and pointed out that she looks exactly like he did in high school. Now she’s sobbing and begging for either a wig or even more expensive extensions. FML

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By Anonymous - 17/05/2012 04:35 - United States

Today, I went to the hair salon. When I got home, my three-year-old daughter told me I looked like Dora the Explorer. FML

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Brutal truth

By Anonymous - 20/11/2025 12:00

Today, I showed my grandma my new haircut. She squinted for a moment and said, “Oh honey, it’ll grow back.” I said, “So you don’t like it?” She shrugged and said, “I’m just glad you’re confident enough to leave the house like that.” FML

agreeclassic 330

vote type 1 92

By emergencyroom - 15/03/2014 12:21 - United States - Parkton

Today, I locked myself out and had to enter my house via the back door. Thinking I was an intruder, my 7-year-old daughter slammed a metal rake into the back of my head. Nice to know she can take care of herself. FML

agreeclassic 51 481

vote type 1 9 399

Ubehage 32

Thursday 28 March 2024 2:10

So, let me get this: Asking someone that you don't recognize how they got into the house, is idiotic? Gotcha. YDI

Harlea 3

Thursday 28 March 2024 18:23

Specially of all people, your daughter

Comments

Ubehage 32

Thursday 28 March 2024 2:10

So, let me get this: Asking someone that you don't recognize how they got into the house, is idiotic? Gotcha. YDI

Harlea 3

Thursday 28 March 2024 18:23

Specially of all people, your daughter

Yudith 25

Saturday 30 March 2024 13:42

Answers: 1) I'm your dad, and 2) I'm your dad.

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Today, as I was walking out of a restaurant with my boyfriend, I saw some guys checking me out. One of them walked up to my boyfriend and said, "Dude, you and your girlfriend have matching moustaches!" FML

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Today, they say our bowels are like a second brain. Well, mine seem to have the brain of an 8-year-old, because we’ve been playing “Attack of the Monster Poo” for five consecutive days now. Of course, like any self-respecting monster, it only attacks when you're asleep, then again once you've let your guard down. FML

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Today, I took my girlfriend skydiving for her birthday. I insisted on joining her to make it a memory for us both, despite my fear of heights. I passed out twice mid-freefall and had to be saved by the instructor both times. FML

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