Love, Weird and Awkward: My love language is… - FML

My love language is…

By Time for a divorce, I think - 29/03/2025 21:00 - United States - Edison

Today, I asked my wife for a kiss. She snarled, "I'm your WIFE, just fucking kiss me! You don't have to ask!" Later, I went in for a kiss and she slapped me, then yelled that it was my fault for "getting in her face." FML

agreeclassic 622

vote type 1 96

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By CaptBlood - 21/05/2021 00:01

Today, before I went to work, I wanted to kiss my wife goodbye while she was asleep, She punched me. FML

agreeclassic 862

vote type 1 192

By smooth - 21/11/2013 16:10 - United States

Today, a girl and I were flirting and it was going well. Feeling bold, I asked what she would do if I kissed her. She smiled flirtatiously and said "Why don't you try it and find out?" I went in for a kiss, and she slapped me. FML

agreeclassic 61 631

vote type 1 14 053

By what did I do? - 15/10/2015 19:30 - United States - San Francisco

Today, I proposed to my girlfriend. She slapped me in the face, stormed out and won't answer my calls. What the hell? FML

agreeclassic 29 379

vote type 1 2 565

Nice try

By Well that didn't work - 08/04/2025 06:00 - United States - Edison

Today, on the advice of several friends, I tried to de-escalate a stupid argument with my fiancée by kissing her. She slapped me senseless and whooped my ass up and down the house until I escaped to the car. FML

agreeclassic 212

vote type 1 498

By Anonymous - 01/11/2014 18:23 - United States - Cincinnati

Today, my girlfriend came over to my place unannounced. She slapped me in the face, said, "You son of a bitch." and stormed off. I have no idea what that was for. FML

agreeclassic 39 893

vote type 1 5 529

Great prank ideas #47

By Anonymous - 02/09/2021 23:01 - United States

Today, I went to a baseball game with my wife. During intermission, the kiss cam chose my wife and me. So, what do you expect, I kissed her, but she decided to slap me and pretend she didn't know me. FML

agreeclassic 1 145

vote type 1 204

What are you doing?

By Tyler - 25/08/2013 04:30 - United States

Today, I went to the mall with my girlfriend to buy some new clothes, and I turned around to give her a quick kiss. My lips were half-way to "her" face when I saw instead the face of another lady. She slapped me. My girlfriend was standing next to me, very pissed off. FML

agreeclassic 46 265

vote type 1 9 708

By PanFace - 13/10/2009 06:54 - Australia

Today, I had an argument with my wife. I told her to get back in the kitchen. How does she respond? By doing what I told her to do, and returning to hit me with a frying pan. FML

agreeclassic 11 126

vote type 1 121 422

By Kid Lacef - 31/10/2018 15:30

Today, I asked my girlfriend for a kiss, and in response, she suggested that we settle for a hand hug. FML

agreeclassic 3 172

vote type 1 382

You what now?

By Anonymous - 30/08/2013 16:14 - United States - Redmond

Today, I got home from work a little late due to bad traffic. My wife kissed me, then flew into a rage and swore that I had the taste of penis on my lips, accusing me of cheating on her with a guy. Apparently she got this insane "test your man" idea from some Cosmo-type magazine. FML

agreeclassic 50 190

vote type 1 3 290

Next

TOP COMMENTS

Lost Reggie 21

Sunday 30 March 2025 4:36

Violence is never acceptable. Get out of that abusive relationship. Seek help and protection.

Hangryko 31

Sunday 30 March 2025 15:28

Time to leave.

Comments

Lost Reggie 21

Sunday 30 March 2025 4:36

Violence is never acceptable. Get out of that abusive relationship. Seek help and protection.

Hangryko 31

Sunday 30 March 2025 15:28

Time to leave.

stickyface 16

Monday 31 March 2025 15:42

Domestic abuse. It happens to men more often than we think. Don't put up with it.

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Keywords

Miscellaneous Stalker My ex Love Coworkers Internet Relatable AITA Pokémon Awkward Work Kids Parenting Annoying Shopping Underwear Jealousy Parents Thief Intimacy Suspicious Sex Family NSFW Birthday Gifts I need your advice Accident Abuse Moving home

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Today, while I was fooling around with my girlfriend, she hurt her hand. It obviously wasn't very serious, so I told her to stop faking it. She responded, "Wanna know what I actually fake? My orgasms." FML

agreeclassic 39 666

vote type 1 64 629

Today, while on a six hour flight, someone offered to pay me $20 to swap seats with them. It seemed like a great deal, so I immediately accepted and moved to my new seat. I didn't realize my new neighbor was an old man with a raging boner. FML

agreeclassic 32 163

vote type 1 14 039

Today, at work, we were gathered to be told some bad news. One of our colleagues would be taking indefinite leave because his wife had dropped their newborn baby. I accidentally laughed at the image. FML

agreeclassic 15 696

vote type 1 61 840

Today, I went to work only to serve one table, make a $9.00 tip, get sent home because it was slow, have the city busses stop running because of weather, and have to pay a $20 cab fare to get home. FML

agreeclassic 29 441

vote type 1 1 969

Today, my brother and I got into an intense argument that ended up with us trading blows and having the cops called on us. Apparently I was "insulting his intelligence" by trying to explain that you don't make buttermilk by putting butter in milk. He's 18. FML

agreeclassic 42 057

vote type 1 5 131

Today, I was at work at an ice cream shop when a hot guy came in and started chatting me up. I got him his ice cream and as I handed it to him, he mentioned that I was cute and walked away. Then I realised he hadn't paid for the ice cream, and I didn't even get a date out of it. FML

agreeclassic 11 337

vote type 1 3 815