Animals, Food and Birds: MORE! MORE! - FML

MORE! MORE!

By bursteardrums - this FML is from back in 2011 but it's good stuff - United Kingdom

Today, I introduced my parrot to oranges. Now she makes a high pitched scream if I don't give her any, and I've just run out of oranges. FML

agreeclassic 30 643

vote type 1 11 395

When Christmas Ends Badly…
Rather than debating politics with Uncle Roger for the umpteenth time, share the best Christmas FMLs to finally have a good family meal! More…

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Similar FMLs

Enjoy the sirens

By Anonymous - 17/03/2023 04:00

Today, my parrot learned how to imitate my baby's crying. Now, every time the baby cries, the parrot joins in, and it sounds like a chorus of screaming. FML

agreeclassic 881

vote type 1 203

By weep weep weep - 12/03/2012 03:04 - United States

Today, after months of teaching my parrot to speak, he finally demonstrated his abilities. I accidentally set off my smoke detector, and he's been wailing like a dying banshee ever since. FML

agreeclassic 26 940

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By Anna - 15/06/2012 09:43 - United States - Buellton

Today, I was driving my parrot home from the vet. As I was driving home, I decided to let her sit on my shoulder. Something scared her, and she started flapping in my face, causing me to crash my car into a tree. FML

agreeclassic 8 776

vote type 1 51 802

Impressive

By Anonymous - this FML is from back in 2009 but it's good stuff - United States

Today, I met my boyfriend's parents for the first time. In his front room was a giant parrot. Hoping to impress them, I went over to the bird and began talking to it proving I wasn't scared. Out of nowhere, it's beak clenched onto my nose making it gush blood on the carpet. I was hospitalized. FML

agreeclassic 59 738

vote type 1 19 551

By Anonymous - 23/12/2011 05:53 - United States

Today, I went caroling with some family friends. We got pelted with oranges. FML

agreeclassic 18 536

vote type 1 23 329

By In urgent need of a new roommate - 26/03/2014 23:44 - United States - West Linn

Today, I woke up at 3:00 am to the sound of a bird screeching. Turns out, my roommate bought a parrot without consulting me first. Even better, my roommate expects me to pay for half of the bird's expenses. FML

agreeclassic 44 571

vote type 1 3 369

By Anonymous - 20/01/2011 03:44 - United States

Today, it was my daughter's birthday. She had been wanting a cat for a long time, so I went to the animal shelter and got an orange one. As soon as she saw it, she ran upstairs screaming, "GINGER! GINGER!" She refuses to come downstairs until I get rid of "the soulless creature." FML

agreeclassic 40 076

vote type 1 8 339

By sweetie808 - 28/01/2016 08:39 - United States - Kailua Kona

Today, around 12 a.m., my pet parrot said a sentence I've never heard him say before. Usually this would be exciting, but considering he said, 'I killed the bird', and that one of my two love birds mysteriously died a few days ago, it's safe to say I'm now terrified. FML

agreeclassic 26 776

vote type 1 1 792

What did you say?

By What? - 22/01/2013 19:00 - Australia

Today, I found out my ten year-old brother and his best friend have taught our new parrot to say, "Shut up, bitch." We have a bunch of our extended family coming over tomorrow to see what the parrot can say. FML

agreeclassic 31 670

vote type 1 4 116

By Anonymous - 17/06/2013 20:07 - United States

Today, I returned home from a month long trip overseas to find that my bird sitter has trained my parrot to whisper, "You're going to die" in a sinister voice. FML

agreeclassic 54 773

vote type 1 7 002

Next

TOP COMMENTS

iAmScrubs 19

Tuesday 16 August 2011 18:54

Be gentle when you break the news to it, but the parrot needs to go to rehab. It might be screaming now, but the next step is orange juice injections.

firegirl1993 21

Tuesday 16 August 2011 18:53

Polly want an orange

Comments

cooxoxo 9

Tuesday 16 August 2011 19:27

Awwww birdie wants oranges! Cute! :)

babytunechi 0

Tuesday 16 August 2011 19:28

siren

i_did_that 0

Tuesday 16 August 2011 19:34

Squawk

Calyx_fml 21

Tuesday 16 August 2011 19:41

Oranges are parrot crack.

flee_fml 0

Tuesday 16 August 2011 19:45

that's so cute ! spoiled ass bird

loserman67 35

Tuesday 16 August 2011 19:50

Time to introduce your parrot to the business end of a hammer

Troller20 0

Tuesday 16 August 2011 19:53

lol I want ur bird!

tj4234 35

Tuesday 16 August 2011 19:56

YDI for giving it an orange

cek31076 1

Tuesday 16 August 2011 19:58

Way to go

kenziem18 0

Tuesday 16 August 2011 20:02

time to go to the store!

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Today, I had a customer go on a 15-minute rant about how disgusting fat people are, and how they deserve it if they develop diabetes, gout, etc. Yes, I am fat. I eat well, I exercise, I've had a gastric balloon, I've been to weight loss retreats, dieticians, personal trainers, and yet I'm "gross." FML

agreeclassic 942

vote type 1 291

Today, I failed hard at a color test. I thought it was a joke because most of the colors looked the same to me. Now I know why people laugh at my clothes color choices. FML

agreeclassic 50 670

vote type 1 3 611

Today, I realized my parents, especially my dad, interrupt me so often when I'm talking that I've become completely accustomed to being interrupted whenever I speak. When they aren't interrupting me, they're either ignoring me, or just not acknowledging me. They still wonder why I don't talk much. FML

agreeclassic 934

vote type 1 112

Today, I was jogging in my neighborhood when I saw a kid's ball roll over to where I was jogging. I stopped, grabbed the ball for the kid and went to hand it to him. He then yelled, "Stranger danger!" and his parents came sprinting out. I had to explain the story to the police for 30 minutes. FML

agreeclassic 62 829

vote type 1 3 208

Today, I was finishing my chest workout at the gym when this really cute girl started using the machine next to me. To impress her, I tried lifting a lot of weight on the barbell. It ended up landing on my neck and she had to help me get it off. FML

agreeclassic 14 931

vote type 1 33 422

Today, I washed my clothes in the shared laundry room. All my clothes came out smelling like smoke. FML

agreeclassic 1 092

vote type 1 148