Intimacy: Mood: broken

Mood: broken

By talkingtoaretard - 25/01/2012 05:00 - United States

Today, I was talking dirty with someone on the phone, when at one point I said, "Oh yeah, you like that?" She responded, "I can't actually feel anything you know, we're just on the phone." FML

agreeclassic 14 018

vote type 1 36 030

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Turned off

By picturemenakedbaby - 21/07/2009 10:42 - United States

Today, my boyfriend and I were on the phone. He started talking dirty, and saying how horny he was, etc. So I decided to play along and said, "I want you to picture me naked, baby." All of a sudden I heard a huge sigh. He responded, "Ew, that just killed it." FML

agreeclassic 69 039

vote type 1 12 738

Kinky

By 9gingerface66 - 15/01/2012 06:29 - United States

Today, after finally getting up the confidence, I started talking really dirty to my boyfriend on the phone. I was getting really onto it, and he seemed to enjoy it too. Then I stopped for a second to gauge his reaction. He was snoring. FML

agreeclassic 29 910

vote type 1 4 691

By Anonymous - 14/04/2014 03:17 - United States

Today, I was talking dirty with my husband over the phone while he was out of town. I started to verbally act out his fantasy and got quite into it. I was returned with silence. Embarrassed, I tried to hang up. Turns out the call had already been dropped, five minutes prior. FML

agreeclassic 49 008

vote type 1 7 882

By Anonymous - 29/04/2014 18:46 - United States - Swartz Creek

Today, I was on the phone with my boyfriend, and I cheekily told him about something I'd read that's supposed to feel really good during sex. I then heard his sister sarcastically say, "Yeah, that does feel pretty good". Apparently he'd had me on speaker the whole time. FML

agreeclassic 50 731

vote type 1 9 071

Ahem

By Bucko321 - 30/03/2009 01:18 - Canada

Today, I was on the phone with my boyfriend. We were feeling a little naughty, so we started talking dirty. I was really into describing a sweaty sex scene, when I heard my dad cough. He had picked up the other house phone to make a call, and had heard it all. FML

agreeclassic 36 751

vote type 1 78 370

Method acting

By Anonymous - 27/05/2010 04:10 - United States

Today, I was having a hot telephone conversation with my boyfriend who lives in another state. Unfortunately, I even have to fake orgasms during phone sex. FML

agreeclassic 18 767

vote type 1 34 477

By long day - 12/11/2013 20:29 - United States - Bay City

Today, while taking an order over the phone for the customer at work, I began to hear slight moans. The moans gradually became faster and louder, until climax was achieved and I realized I was being used for phone sex. FML

agreeclassic 47 785

vote type 1 3 893

By lonelyandbored - 31/05/2010 00:19 - United States

Today, I was dirty texting my boyfriend since we couldn't see each other this weekend. We were getting really into it when he said, "If only you were this good in real life." FML

agreeclassic 40 380

vote type 1 11 211

By Eskyew - 23/07/2009 21:40 - United States

Today, my boyfriend and I were talking on the phone, and things got a little heated. We were in the middle of some kinky dialog, complete with hand action when he suddenly goes silent. While waiting for a response, I heard typing on the other end. He was checking his email. FML

agreeclassic 43 793

vote type 1 9 020

Feelings

By Anonymous - 29/07/2013 00:46 - United States - Beaumont

Today, my girlfriend and I were going at it doggy style, really fast, when she started laughing. I asked her what was so amusing and she giggled, "I can't feel anything in there." FML

agreeclassic 66 651

vote type 1 9 808

HaloR 0

Wednesday 25 January 2012 9:00

Forever alone*

ant2590 6

Wednesday 25 January 2012 9:03

She needs practice in talking dirty

Comments

AugustBurnsToast 14

Wednesday 25 January 2012 10:09

YOU DON'T SAY

MandyMeow_fml 18

Wednesday 25 January 2012 10:14

And that is when you awkwardly hang up the phone ..

stariee1997 16

Wednesday 25 January 2012 10:18

The Ugly Truth.

Yourheadache 19

Wednesday 25 January 2012 10:56

try a hotline, they're gonna like it.

cvillechicklet 0

Wednesday 25 January 2012 11:14

I would have done a way better job at that

Climaxx 11

Wednesday 25 January 2012 11:18

How do you come back from that one..

bearsy 0

Wednesday 25 January 2012 11:24

Did you wear a condom? I hear you can get hearing aids :D... I couldnt resist.

jesseinphx 6

Wednesday 25 January 2012 11:49

Boner killer :(

rthieka 0

Wednesday 25 January 2012 11:52

Haha practice more dude!

Pelreskovich 11

Wednesday 25 January 2012 12:22

"Someone" wanted you to shut the f**k up.

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Keywords

Miscellaneous Stalker My ex Coworkers Love Internet Relatable AITA Pokémon Awkward Work Parenting Kids Annoying Shopping Underwear Jealousy Parents Thief Sex Intimacy Suspicious Family NSFW Birthday Gifts I need your advice Accident Abuse Moving home

Top

Today, my mom told me I'm the reason she's going to kill herself one day. FML

agreeclassic 31 322

vote type 1 3 242

Today, it's my birthday and I received a signed vintage Beatles' album from my wife. Awesome right? It's the same album some jerk way over-bidded me for on eBay. That jerk was my wife, using my credit card. FML

agreeclassic 62 874

vote type 1 7 756

Today, at a red light, an old lady crossing the street fell right in front of my car. I got out of my car to help her. The light turned green and I was still helping the woman to her feet. An officer came by and ticketed me for "impeding the flow of traffic." FML

agreeclassic 78 127

vote type 1 3 510

Today, after receiving the third call this week from teachers about my son falling asleep in class, I decided that it would be a good idea to hide his Xbox controllers. He decided it would be a good idea to hide my diabetes medication. FML

agreeclassic 51 665

vote type 1 19 273

Today, I found out why my boyfriend didn’t want me to attend his graduation: because a classmate he’s been seeing was there. I watched through the livestream posted on the school website as they held hands, hugged and kissed. I motivated him to finish college in the first place. FML

agreeclassic 1 852

vote type 1 114

Today, I decided to tell my mother what I thought about religion. I've been raised catholic. I told her I was converting to Wicca, to which she sort of nodded and walked away. I went into my room to study with my earbuds in, music loud. I walked out to see a cross nailed above my door. FML

agreeclassic 43 001

vote type 1 34 880