Sex, Embarrassing and Awkward: Memes for life

Memes for life

By Anonymous - 10/07/2024 00:00 - United States - Riverside

Today, my dad got blind drunk at my son’s birthday party and decided to describe in bone chilling detail what “Hawk Tuah” meant to a bunch of kids. Hello therapy bill. FML

agreeclassic 511

vote type 1 122

When Christmas Ends Badly…
Rather than debating politics with Uncle Roger for the umpteenth time, share the best Christmas FMLs to finally have a good family meal! More…

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He's still got it

By Anonymous - 26/10/2019 00:01

Today, my dad got drunk at a party and flashed me and my friends. FML

agreeclassic 1 729

vote type 1 154

By as-salamu alaykum, motherfucker - 05/04/2014 22:04 - United Kingdom - Birkenhead

Today, I was having my birthday party. My dad showed up late, blind drunk, and drove his car straight through my garage door. FML

agreeclassic 45 195

vote type 1 3 516

Go home

By Anonymous - 16/09/2023 10:00

Today, I saw my dad naked. How? He came into the room I was staying in, drunk. I'm gonna need a whole lot of therapy. FML

agreeclassic 629

vote type 1 97

Free speech

By Anonymous - 21/07/2023 10:00

Today, my dad thought it would be appropriate to get drunk at my wedding and include in his father of the bride speech all the very bad things I did as a child, before I got the psychiatric help I needed. My in-laws were giving me death glares, and his nana yelled, “Shame on you!” at me. FML

agreeclassic 899

vote type 1 140

Better luck next year

By clewie - this FML is from back in 2019 but it's good stuff - United States

Today, it's my birthday. My dad showed up to my birthday dinner wasted, was loud and obnoxious the whole time, sexually harassed our waitress, then invited my annoying, bratty nephews to come home and spend the night with us. They're sleeping in my room. Happy birthday to me. FML

agreeclassic 2 298

vote type 1 217

Thanks for coming to my TED Talk

By Anonymous - this FML is from back in 2010 but it's good stuff - United States

Today, it's my birthday. My dad was supposed to take me to get a tattoo, but instead he went to the bar, got drunk, and told me how I was the biggest mistake he and my mom have ever made. FML

agreeclassic 36 214

vote type 1 4 089

Happy birthday to you

By Anonymous - 22/04/2025 15:00 - United States

Today, it's my 15th birthday. My dad stumbled into my bedroom at six in the morning, completely drunk, and slurred the "Happy Birthday" song. Then he told me to go fuck myself, and said that he wished I was never born. Me too, dad. Me too. FML

agreeclassic 630

vote type 1 64

By Z - 09/04/2011 22:29 - United Kingdom

Today, my dad decided to have a little father and daughter bonding time. Unfortunately, his idea of bonding involves him sitting around at home, getting piss drunk, and falling asleep. FML

agreeclassic 31 471

vote type 1 3 041

By porn daddy - 21/06/2017 00:00

Today, my drunk dad went off on a tangent about his porn watching habits to the whole family. FML

agreeclassic 6 108

vote type 1 450

By Anonymous - 21/03/2014 22:35 - Australia

Today, my dad took me to a bar for my first legal drink. He quickly got "drunk" and started slurring that I was an accident, saying the only reason I'm alive is because he'd been too poor to pay for an abortion. As I started crying, he burst out laughing and said soberly, "Just kidding, son." FML

agreeclassic 49 919

vote type 1 6 757

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Keywords

Miscellaneous Stalker My ex Coworkers Love Internet Relatable AITA Pokémon Awkward Work Parenting Kids Annoying Shopping Underwear Jealousy Parents Thief Sex Intimacy Suspicious Family NSFW Birthday Gifts I need your advice Accident Abuse Moving home

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Today, as if having diarrhea at work wasn’t bad enough, my office’s aggressively flushing toilet sprayed me with my own liquid shit. FML

agreeclassic 1 154

vote type 1 131

Today, while showing my mum how to make a TikTok, she not only found the masturbation video I made to send to my husband while he’s away for work, she accidentally managed to post it to TikTok. FML

agreeclassic 785

vote type 1 1 537

Today, I waited in line at a drive-through behind a man for ten minutes. I got out of my car, cursed at him, and then asked him to give me one good reason why it would take that long to order. The man slowly explained to me that he had a stutter. FML

agreeclassic 12 192

vote type 1 130 799

Today, my family held an intervention and told me I needed to lose weight. It probably would've had more impact if they hadn't done this over video chat while stuffing their faces at an all-you-can-eat buffet. FML

agreeclassic 9 542

vote type 1 804

Today, I received a response to my perfectly straightforward online dating profile: "How about changing a dirty diaper, mommy?" FML

agreeclassic 42 737

vote type 1 6 003

Today, as I was at Starbucks writing a paper, a man came and sat next to me. He started staring at me, then I noticed his hands were down his pants. It was noticeable that he was masturbating, so I went to tell a worker. They just said, "He's a regular" and didn't do anything about it. FML

agreeclassic 10 785

vote type 1 720