Romantic and Love: Love language - FML

Love language

By gummy bear - this FML is from back in 2011 but it's good stuff

Today, trying to be an old-school romantic, I asked my girlfriend, "Where art thou, my love?" via SMS. She replied, "Toilet." FML

agreeclassic 17 662

vote type 1 31 267

Christmas: Snowy Joys and Blunders
Enjoy Christmas stories where unexpected gifts and family reunions create lasting memories... and fun! More…

Previous FML Next FML

Similar FMLs

By anon - 30/08/2016 18:32 - United States - Atlanta

Today, I texted my girlfriend a long, heartfelt message this morning. Her response? "What do you need? Or is this even really you?" FML

agreeclassic 13 962

vote type 1 2 349

By Anonymous - 29/09/2009 04:38 - United States

Today, I tried to flirt with my girlfriend since I'm really busy and we can't always be together. I tell her online that I think she's hot and she responds "Keep talking I have to pee". FML

agreeclassic 32 896

vote type 1 5 903

By Anonymous - 15/08/2012 00:12 - United States

Today, wanting to be romantic, I came home with flowers, and told my girlfriend I love her and that I never want us to fall apart. Before I could finish my second sentence, she farted, said, "Aww, that's so sweet" and quickly excused herself to the bathroom. FML

agreeclassic 26 188

vote type 1 2 915

By wendtinmypants - 31/05/2014 15:05 - United States - Omaha

Today, I took out my phone and realized I butt dialed my girlfriend and left her a 4 minute voicemail of me farting in an echoing toilet bowl. FML

agreeclassic 49 926

vote type 1 9 223

By BatBee - 03/08/2016 02:29 - United States - Princeton

Today, my husband and I were talking about how we missed our sexting from when we were dating, so later I took a bath and texted him while he was relaxing in bed. His response ? "I'm tired and hurry up I need to poop." FML

agreeclassic 15 386

vote type 1 1 531

Thanks dad…

By Anonymous - 26/09/2012 20:27 - United States - Fort Lauderdale

Today, I was on the toilet, when the girl I really like decided to call. I'd left my cellphone in my room and my dad answered. All he said was, "He's taking a shit. This might take a while." and hung up. FML

agreeclassic 29 660

vote type 1 2 616

By User - 23/09/2013 17:53 - United States - Romulus

Today, I texted my girlfriend a long heartfelt loving message for our 2-year anniversary. Her reply was just "K." FML

agreeclassic 51 985

vote type 1 6 696

Alexa, play "Don't Go" by Yazoo

By nexus - 22/09/2021 04:00 - Papua New Guinea

Today, my girlfriend is on her period. She hugged me, crying because she was going to miss me. Where was I going? To the store down the street and back. FML

agreeclassic 886

vote type 1 169

By Poem - 19/12/2009 04:29 - United States

Today, I spent hours delicately writing out what seemed to be a beautiful poem to my girlfriend. After I sent it to her, I kept eyeing my phone to see her surprised message. No, the only response I got was, "You may want to use a spellcheck." FML

agreeclassic 14 055

vote type 1 26 297

By Anonymous - 09/04/2015 15:10 - United States

Today, I got a 'Good Morning' text from my boyfriend. Since I hadn't gotten one of those in a while, I thought it was rather nice. That is, until I saw the picture that accompanied it. It was of him, sitting on the toilet and taking a shit. FML

agreeclassic 30 670

vote type 1 3 873

Next

TOP COMMENTS

nerdsgetmehot 22

Friday 21 January 2011 19:05

Oh no, you've found out the truth-- that girls POO and PEE. How will you LIVE?!

alwa7sh 2

Friday 21 January 2011 18:59

she art ******** !

Comments

Clover2009 0

Saturday 22 January 2011 8:47

I do that sort of thing with my boyfriend all the time. Fifteen minutes ago he proudly texted me saying he just took a massive shit. My reply, "Bravo babe."

carical 0

Saturday 22 January 2011 9:30

what, do you expect her to text 'in the lavatory excreting faeces my dear' while she's ******** or something?

LekoloHawk340 0

Saturday 22 January 2011 9:40

Well she's a keeper, for sure!

blondie97_x 2

Saturday 22 January 2011 10:21

lmao!

Scorch117 0

Saturday 22 January 2011 10:23

Woman: blarg blah blah he's not romantic lalalaa Now when it does happen, she doesn't give... a shit. ;)

gadgetfmllover 0

Saturday 22 January 2011 10:37

What a girl :)

Sadochan 0

Saturday 22 January 2011 13:21

She's helping you do 'Shitspeare'! lolz

Smexi101 0

Sunday 23 January 2011 0:38

Lmao

Tadeusz_fml 5

Saturday 22 January 2011 18:55

YOUR LIFE IS RUINED! You may as well go to the window and end it now.

insanelyXnikki 18

Saturday 22 January 2011 20:18

At least she gives a shit :D

CaptainJ1000 1

Saturday 22 January 2011 23:27

Could have been worse, she could have said: "Birthing a mud nugget"

5
6
7
8
9
10
11

VDM sur Facebook

Keywords

Miscellaneous My ex Stalker Coworkers Love Internet Relatable AITA Pokémon Awkward Work Parenting Kids Annoying Shopping Underwear Jealousy Parents Thief Sex Intimacy Suspicious Family NSFW Birthday Gifts I need your advice Accident Abuse Moving home

Top

Top

Today, my 6 year old daughter somehow learned about sex. She also had the open house at her school where she meets her new teachers. When the teacher asked where she came from, she said, "My daddy's happy sacks." FML

agreeclassic 42 333

vote type 1 4 731

Today, I found out that my boyfriend's mother still calls his ex-girlfriend her "future daughter-in-law". FML

agreeclassic 43 146

vote type 1 3 366

Today, I released a noxious, unforgiving fart in my cubicle not thinking anything of it. You know, one of those sulfurous clouds you get the morning after a few good beers. Moments later, my manager walks in to talk about work. It's 7:30 in the morning, no one else is around. FML

agreeclassic 10 620

vote type 1 24 834

Today, I got a targeted YouTube ad that was intended for someone who owns a graveyard plot. Glad to know my watching habits match those of an undertaker's. FML

agreeclassic 1 377

vote type 1 261

Today, my dorm had a mandatory meeting about body image. I went to the meeting and left feeling all good about myself. As soon as I got back to my room, my favorite jeans ripped right across my butt. FML

agreeclassic 23 720

vote type 1 4 834

Today, I saw a little boy wandering in the supermarket looking lost and distraught. I gently put my hand on his shoulder and said, “Hey buddy, where’s your mommy?” He screamed, “STRANGER DANGER!” and kicked me in the shin. His actual mom wandered over from the cheese section, gave me a dirty look, and walked off. FML.

agreeclassic 381

vote type 1 184