Joe Bidet By userrrrr - This FML is from back in 2009 but it's good stuff - United States Today, I found out that my girlfriend's idea of "washing her feet" is sticking her foot in the toilet and flushing. FML I agree, your life sucks 49 450 You deserved it 3 839 Share Tweet Share
Today, I had no choice but to unclog a toilet with my bare hands. FML I agree, your life sucks 1 647 You deserved it 343
Today, I meant to forward an email to my friend mocking a coworker's email, but I hit "reply" instead of "forward". FML I agree, your life sucks 7 256 You deserved it 45 954
Today, after my car got stolen and flipped on its roof three months ago, making it an insurance write-off, and getting a new car a week ago, a drunk driver crashed into my parked car, writing it off. In both instances the drivers were thankfully OK, it's just my insurance premiums skyrocketing, no biggie. FML I agree, your life sucks 493 You deserved it 76
Today, the mosquito infestation is so bad that multiple mosquitoes sucked the blood out of the steak I was grilling and promptly died on top of it. FML I agree, your life sucks 4 447 You deserved it 360
Today, I met my girlfriend's parents. Her huge, ex-Marine father took me out back, saying he wanted to show me something. That something was a machete. He savagely buried it in a tree stump and said, "Son, if you break my daughter's heart, that'll be your dick." FML I agree, your life sucks 39 375 You deserved it 6 610
Today, I went for bloodwork. It's routine for me, so I was ready for the nurse to put in the needle and take my blood. It went in fine, but right after, she slowly pulled the needle out, then wondered why the blood stopped. She then moved it back and forth in my arm while I panicked silently. FML I agree, your life sucks 22 342 You deserved it 1 553
There's a keeper!
Are you sure she wasn't joking... i mean... come on... who does that?