Health It wasn't me, I swear

It wasn't me, I swear

Anonymous - 27/10/2009 10:28 - United Kingdom

Today, in the gym, as I bent over to pick up my weights an old man farted right in my face. The stench was appalling. To make matters worse, a girl I've fancied for ages thought it was me and reported it to the instructor. I was told to leave for "anti-social behavior." FML

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Chinese New Year: Dragons and Laughter
Celebrate with stories where tradition and humor meet for a colorful Chinese New Year. …

Get out

pipefitter28 - 27/12/2012 06:46 - Canada - Vernon

Today, I tried to impress a girl at the gym on the squat rack, but let out a big fart. She was grossed out and laughed at me with her friends. Her boyfriend came over and told me I was a dead man, and I'd better leave. I'm now the proud owner of a year membership at a gym I can't go to. FML

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Mark - 30/03/2009 07:06 - United States

Today, I was working out at the gym doing squats. There was a girl there that I wanted to impress so I loaded up the bar with a lot of weight and began to do my squat. As I was going down I farted so loud that I began to laugh and fell backwards. Everyone in the room just stared at me. FML

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yogapants - 24/09/2010 20:21 - Switzerland

Today, I let out the most horrific, loudest, and most vile smelling fart I have ever had in my life while in the middle of yoga class. Out of embarrassment, I tried to lessen the tension in the silent room by giggling, but no one saw the funny side. I was given looks of horror, and avoided by everyone else for the rest of the class. FML

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Core

Anonymous - 18/03/2023 16:00

Today, I went to the gym and accidentally farted during yoga class. Everyone looked at me and the instructor said, "Let's all take a moment to appreciate the power of core strength." FML

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Stealth

smellyhair - 02/11/2014 11:28 - United Kingdom

Today, I was shopping for a new deodorant, and this guy was standing in the way. He wouldn't move, so I crouched down to get the one I wanted, right when he did the most violent fart right in my face. Then his wife came over, made a face and he whispered, "I think that girl just farted". FML

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Foul

cdubb27 - 11/10/2010 06:00 - United States

Today, while at the gym, I noticed a foul smell while on elliptical machine. I figured it was the little old lady on the machine next to me. It was so bad I had to leave. When I got in my truck, I realized the smell had followed me. It was me. My cat had pissed on my workout clothes. FML

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tantanpanda - 24/06/2015 12:44 - United States

Today, I was swimming my routine laps at the gym's pool and a man came in and swam in the adjacent lane. While swimming freestyle, I smelled a really nasty fart. Not a minute later, he hurriedly left. I didn't realize what he had done until I saw "floating particles" in the water. FML

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belle_arina - 08/10/2009 05:05 - United States

Today, we were doing stretches in dance class where you are on your hands and doing the splits in the air while your partner helps hold you and stretch your legs further. Right as I lift my left leg up, I farted hugely right in my partner's face. I couldn't make eye contact for the rest of class. FML

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Stealth bomber

Jogger - 19/08/2020 14:01

Today, I was standing in line at a coffee shop when the guy stood behind me let out a huge fart, then walked away. The rest of the line turned around, thinking that it was me. An old lady started to lecture me about being rude, while the guy who did it laughed behind his mask in the corner of the shop. FML

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Check her out

minnie - 28/08/2009 18:30 - United States

Today, I was feeling sick and I farted really loud in the school's girls bathroom. Some boys overheard from the hall and called everyone over. I came out only to find about 20 guys staring anxiously at the bathroom's door to see who I was. FML

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2step 1

Tuesday 27 October 2009 16:04

WTF? Reported and kicked out for farting? Is it some nazi gym?

FreddyLunch 0

Tuesday 27 October 2009 15:58

"Fancied" is such a British thing to say, I'm glad that you are keeping it British and didn't say you had a crush on her.

leyash 0

Wednesday 28 October 2009 0:38

YDI for going to the gym, fag.

st4rbucksisevil 0

Wednesday 28 October 2009 0:48

Farting is something our bodies do naturally. Not anti-social behaviour. I call bs.

W33nie 0

Wednesday 28 October 2009 1:26

what a prick. We all know you did it, you liar

mouritsen94 0

Wednesday 28 October 2009 2:35

fancied really?

NyteProwleR 0

Wednesday 28 October 2009 4:06

YDI for fancying someone.

EveryDayJackAss 0

Wednesday 28 October 2009 5:35

.....wow, this is pretty ridiculous, even for me, its like saying "Hey! that guy farted!, kick him out!" ........makes ABSOLUTELY perfect logic

MrMcKeigue 0

Wednesday 28 October 2009 5:44

When you say "instructor" do you mean "gym teacher"? If so, what was an old-ass man doing there?

jchansfan 0

Wednesday 28 October 2009 7:30

Instructor? Was this a special gym? o_O'

NATTiCUS 0

Thursday 29 October 2009 2:00

FFS! Learn that other countries use different words to u. Get over it! The FML still makes sence, read it and move on with out being a bitch.

hawkloverr 0

Wednesday 28 October 2009 7:37

I'm sorry, but this is obviously fake. Nobody would get kicked out for farting. And nobody would "tell on" anyone for farting either unless they were an idiot.

wiener_lover 0

Wednesday 28 October 2009 15:42

If every person who farted at my YMCA got kicked out, there would be no members left! I hate when the person on the machine next to me farts; I don't want anyone to think I did it! Sometimes I cover my nose with my shirt to show my disgust.