Health and Cats: It's always when your hands are full that your nose starts to itch

It's always when your hands are full that your nose starts to itch

By Mightytall - 05/10/2019 20:00

Today, I found the perfect position on the couch, both feet up comfortably and my two cats curled up in my lap. Then, my foot started to itch. FML

agreeclassic 1 333

vote type 1 254

New Year, New Blunders
Celebrate the New Year with stories of resolutions broken in less than 24 hours and memorable New Year's Eves... for all the wrong reasons! More…

Previous FML Next FML

Similar FMLs

It's love

By Anonymous - 12/06/2021 01:01 - United States

Today, I realized my cat has a foot fetish. She keeps randomly flopping over on my feet while I'm walking, and will lick my toes if I am barefooted. I have absolutely no idea where this came from, but it makes me super uncomfortable. Even my other cat looks at her like she's gone insane. FML

agreeclassic 800

vote type 1 170

By Anonymous - 03/06/2012 05:50 - United States - Egg Harbor Township

Today, I had an unbearable itch on my foot that I could not make go away with my nails, so I grabbed the stapler in my drawer to scratch it with. Bad idea. FML

agreeclassic 6 762

vote type 1 49 105

By kaylajere - 26/05/2010 08:17 - United States

Today, I decided to lay out and tan. I fell asleep and got sun burned and bitten numerous times by mosquitoes. If I scratch my itch, the burn hurts terribly. If I don't scratch it, it itches terribly. FML

agreeclassic 18 176

vote type 1 36 816

By Anonymous - 30/08/2018 23:30

Today, I got home from work, took a shower, got ready for bed, and laid down right in cat piss. Now I'm shampooing the mattress and taking another shower just to sleep on the couch. FML

agreeclassic 2 913

vote type 1 425

By all5fingers - 08/09/2011 05:23 - Canada

Today, I was playing my guitar and felt something like an itch under my foot, so I attempted to scratch it by rubbing against the floor. The big cockroach made a very distinct "crunch". FML

agreeclassic 28 640

vote type 1 3 249

By Fat Arsed Lass - 01/06/2014 10:28 - New Zealand - East Tamaki

Today, while laying on the couch my cat came and laid on me. Turns out my ass is big enough for my 13 year old cat to walk around in circles, wash itself, stretch and sleep. FML

agreeclassic 38 474

vote type 1 9 503

Toot toot

By I…… - 10/08/2025 02:00 - United States

Today, I was relaxing on the sofa with the cat purring on my lap. My husband blasted an air horn. I'm now covered in cat scratches and piss, from both myself and the cat. I'm going to skin him. FML

agreeclassic 431

vote type 1 91

By tornkhakis - 24/02/2014 07:20 - United States - Bloomington

Today, my cat decided that instead of using the brand-new scratching post I bought him, he was going to use my pant leg while I was asleep. FML

agreeclassic 37 206

vote type 1 4 180

Almost done

By Anonymous - 16/01/2020 05:00

Today, as I was trying to have some “self pleasure” time, my cat, WHO NEVER CUDDLES WITH ME, decides to come up and sit on my thigh. FML

agreeclassic 1 903

vote type 1 420

Ninja!

By Anonymous - 13/09/2019 06:02 - Australia - Perth

Today, after getting home from my morning run, I found my brand new leather couch with scratches all over it and smelling of cat piss. I don't have a cat. FML

agreeclassic 1 794

vote type 1 120

BurnInDemonFire 35

Sunday 6 October 2019 3:54

Scratch it with your other foot?

RichardPencil 30

Saturday 5 October 2019 22:44

Live with the pain! You don't want to disturb your kitties, do you?

Comments

RichardPencil 30

Saturday 5 October 2019 22:44

Live with the pain! You don't want to disturb your kitties, do you?

BurnInDemonFire 35

Sunday 6 October 2019 3:54

Scratch it with your other foot?

VDM sur Facebook

Keywords

Miscellaneous Stalker My ex Coworkers Love Internet Relatable AITA Pokémon Awkward Work Kids Parenting Annoying Shopping Underwear Jealousy Parents Thief Intimacy Suspicious Sex Family NSFW Birthday Gifts I need your advice Accident Abuse Moving home

Top

Today, in a rush, I attempted to microwave leftover pizza slices. Unbeknownst to me, I accidentally hit the 'defrost' button, turning the pizza into a lukewarm soggy mess. I guess pizza should never be reheated in 'thaw mode'. FML

agreeclassic 170

vote type 1 350

Today, I walked to my local McDonald's. I spent the last 7 dollars I had on my meal. As I began to walk back to my dorm, I was mugged. I explained to them I had no money, so they stole my food. FML

agreeclassic 52 165

vote type 1 3 735

Today, I'm currently 9 months pregnant with my second child within 3 years. I was told by 4 different doctors over the course of the past 5 years that I'm incapable of having kids, due to a medical condition that affects my reproductive system. FML

agreeclassic 751

vote type 1 375

Today, I found out that my mom uses my Facebook account more than I do. FML

agreeclassic 3 542

vote type 1 581

Today, I was petting my cat when my new mood ring turned bright purple. I checked the piece of paper that came with the ring and saw that purple meant I was feeling "hot, sexy, and passionate." According to my ring, I'm hot for my cat. FML

agreeclassic 47 070

vote type 1 16 870

Today, at work, my vibrator rolled out of my bag so far down the table that I couldn’t catch it, and had to run round the table to grab it by leaning between two of my male coworkers. That vibrator lives under my bed, so the only way it could've got in my work bag would be my boyfriend pranking me. FML

agreeclassic 567

vote type 1 192