Miscellaneous: Hurry!

Hurry!

By A.. - 04/06/2011 19:48 - Canada

Today, I received a phone call at work about an emergency, and that I had to come home immediately. I arrived to find that no one had been hurt and the house hadn't burned down. The "emergency" was my mom had ran out of milk and cigarettes. FML

agreeclassic 36 964

vote type 1 3 349

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By agstone - 09/08/2017 23:15

Today, at 2:47 am, my mom woke me up in a panic screaming about smelling gas and the house blowing up. Twenty minutes, two fire trucks, and a traumatized dog later, it was just the neighbors burning their mail. FML

agreeclassic 4 096

vote type 1 227

Why would you do that?

By Daughter of the devil - 16/05/2024 07:00 - United States - Anaheim

Today, right before the most important final of my education, I got a text from my mom saying my house had burned to the ground, and my children were outside waiting for the firemen. I panicked, left school, and sped home… all for her to laugh and tell me it was “just a joke.” FML

agreeclassic 864

vote type 1 118

ASAP

By failedexam - 06/11/2009 06:52 - Canada

Today, my mom texted me in the middle of my end of term math exam, saying it was extremely urgent and needed me to come home ASAP. While skipping my exam, I finally got home to find out my mom forgot what the emergency was. FML

agreeclassic 35 812

vote type 1 6 168

By fire - 15/12/2009 00:00 - United States

Today, I had to call 911. Why? My fireplace caught on fire. FML

agreeclassic 27 547

vote type 1 6 609

By Dxx - 06/03/2011 07:18 - United States

Today, I was babysitting for my usual parents. After putting the baby to sleep I put some popcorn in the microwave and went to the bathroom. When I came out the whole kitchen was filled with smoke. One of the neighbors saw and called 911. I'm out of a job. FML

agreeclassic 13 243

vote type 1 34 921

To each their own emergency

By Anonymous - 11/04/2024 17:00 - United States

Today, I had to drive my grandmother to the emergency room. I periodically tried to call my parents but neither of them picked up, even when I called the house. We sat there for 6 hours and still no one took her to a room, and no response. Mom finally called back, only to tell me to get her a pack of cigarettes. FML

agreeclassic 488

vote type 1 82

By anonymous - 10/08/2011 04:31 - United States

Today, I was dragged to the food store with my mom. While we were shopping, the fire alarm went off. My mom pushed the cart at me, nearly knocking me over, and sprinted for the door. FML

agreeclassic 31 336

vote type 1 2 643

By almost_a_pro - 23/04/2015 13:43 - Brazil - Rio De Janeiro

Today, I was home alone and tried to make some popcorn so I could watch a movie. Thirty minutes later, my parents came home and found me talking to the firemen. FML

agreeclassic 30 112

vote type 1 9 097

Our house, was a very very very nice house

By Anonymous - 06/03/2020 18:00

Today, my house caught on fire. After it was put out, I realized the damage wasn't bad, mainly smoke damage. I went to my parents' for the night because my house smelled. While there, I received a phone call from my neighbor. Apparently, my house caught fire again. It's now a pile of ashes. FML

agreeclassic 2 297

vote type 1 261

Lost

By Sam - 17/11/2024 15:00 - United States

Today, my mom was on the phone while we went grocery shopping. Apparently, her phone call was more important because she just left me stranded in the store. FML

agreeclassic 388

vote type 1 92

JacksonCampbell 9

Sunday 5 June 2011 0:58

Buy a cow.

rattusrattus 18

Sunday 5 June 2011 1:01

Unless your mother is infirm, I'd say the emergency is that she's a lazy and entitled old bat.

Comments

vbmg152 18

Sunday 5 June 2011 6:12

I'm a smoker but I'd never do that!

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Keywords

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Top

Today, my dog died and I told my grandfather I wanted her to be cremated. I came home later to find him burning her in our barbecue pit. FML

agreeclassic 39 366

vote type 1 4 209

Today, I ran into my ex-boyfriend who dumped me after 2 1/2 years because I got fat. The last two years I've lost 68 lbs, am happier and couldn't wait to shove that in his face. So, of course the first time he see's me I'm alone, pushing a shopping cart full of ice cream for a party later. FML

agreeclassic 52 784

vote type 1 6 330

Today, I found out that my unemployed and very needy mother-in-law will be moving in with us soon. And during my conversation on the phone with her, she expects us to buy a house and my wife and I can "live with her." My wife agrees with all of this. FML

agreeclassic 30 995

vote type 1 2 742

Today, my high school sweetheart and husband of 20 years sent me a text, saying, "You will notice I'm no longer living at home. I moved in with my parents while you were making dinner tonight. There's no one else. I'm just over the being married & stuff." Twenty years and dumped / divorced via text. FML

agreeclassic 2 062

vote type 1 152

Today, I hurt my back at work due to faulty, outdated, and just crap equipment. Workers’ comp offered me two Tylenols and a pamphlet about "mindfulness over medical bills." FML

agreeclassic 472

vote type 1 63

Today, I was scrolling through a more risqué/dark/dirty humor Facebook page. I thoughtlessly set my phone down to help my cousin with a translation for about a minute. When I went to grab my phone, I saw, front and center, a photo edit of Chewbacca with his "lipstick" out. No wonder she kept glancing down. FML

agreeclassic 84

vote type 1 519