Intimacy: Hmmm, twins - FML

Hmmm, twins

By Anonymous - 11/10/2009 10:58 - United Kingdom

Spicy

Today, I found out my boyfriend only dates me because I look a bit like his favourite porn star. FML

agreeclassic 27 759

vote type 1 4 152

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By Anonymous - this FML is from back in 2019 but it's good stuff

Today, I found out that my husband only dated me because I look like what he thought the daughter he had with his first wife might look like when she's grown up. FML

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Next

TOP COMMENTS

Helldozer 0

Sunday 11 October 2009 16:21

It could that it's because you **** like a **** star.

blackicysheep 8

Sunday 11 October 2009 16:35

hahahahaha what's the **** stars name?? and you should be flattered. guys jack off to you :)

Comments

decidedlyvague 11

Sunday 4 November 2012 15:09

So... You're hot? FYL.

DontSaveMe 16

Tuesday 29 October 2013 18:00

@79 No she didnt. We spell it 'favourite' in the UK. Not 'favorite'.

ilovemychem 22

Monday 30 December 2013 20:25

Charmer

_ARandomGuy_ 0

Saturday 6 September 2014 0:04

Whatta bf

namine120409 42

Monday 20 October 2014 15:04

What a dick.

CptSandwich 6

Thursday 30 October 2014 23:37

Atleast he's got priorities in life

tuxedoandex 28

Thursday 8 January 2015 4:42

That probably means that you're really hot.

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Keywords

Miscellaneous Stalker My ex Coworkers Love Internet Relatable AITA Pokémon Awkward Work Kids Parenting Annoying Shopping Underwear Jealousy Parents Thief Intimacy Suspicious Sex Family NSFW Birthday Gifts I need your advice Accident Abuse Moving home

Top

Top

Today, my dad walked into my room, threw some magazines on my bed, and calmly said "You left your porn in the bathroom again." FML

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Today, I found my high school diary and decided to read it for nostalgia. My teenage self wrote, “Future me will totally be rich, famous, and married to Chris Hemsworth by 30.” I’m 32, single, and googling “How to fix a clogged toilet.” FML

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Today, my dad unlocked the bathroom door and barged in without warning only to catch me, with no clothes on, masturbating. He said, "sorry" but stayed for another 20 seconds to look for his shampoo. FML

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Today, I attempted to assemble a piece of furniture that claimed to be "easy to build in minutes." Four hours and multiple arguments later, I realized I had misread the instructions, and half the parts were upside down. I'm pretty sure the furniture won this round. FML

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Today, I found out my girlfriend only gets aroused after watching Jersey Shore and will only have sex immediately after an episode. I think the worst part is, I'll take what I can get. FML

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Today, my mom revealed to me that when I was in Preschool, I used to get caught in the bathroom with little boys while I was feeling their "no no" area. I was giving hand jobs to boys before I could read. FML

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