Miscellaneous: Hitting it off - FML

Hitting it off

By hihipanda - 30/08/2009 12:58 - Singapore

Today, my friend and I went to a bar for drinks. I noticed this cute girl and went over to say "Hi." I had a great conversation with her and I asked for her number before she left. She passed it to me on a piece of paper with instructions specifying for my friend to call her and not me. FML

agreeclassic 41 550

vote type 1 3 336

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Deluxe Memory Man

By Anonymous - 28/07/2009 10:55 - Australia

Today, I saw a cute girl at a bar and decided to go and chat her up. After charming her with my usual crap for a while, I told her she was really pretty, and asked for her number. She replied, "You asshole, I met you here a year ago and gave you my number, and you never called me." FML

agreeclassic 11 203

vote type 1 124 297

By pimpdaddyX - 22/09/2012 16:22 - Malaysia - Shah Alam

Today, trying to be smooth, I slipped the girl I like a piece of paper with my phone number written on it. A while later, she slipped it back to me and left the room. FML

agreeclassic 12 179

vote type 1 19 968

By musamalia - 06/01/2009 11:58 - France

Today, a very pretty girl came up to me and asked me for my phone number. Very pleased, I give it to her with a huge smile and tell her that I can be reached at any time. I then watch her go back to her group of friends. My number was for her gay friend, who then meekly waved at me. FML

agreeclassic 30 000

vote type 1 3 494

By Noname - 16/02/2009 06:41 - United States

Today, I took a friend out for what I thought was date. After dinner was over and I paid, she pulled the bill out and wrote her name phone number on it for the waiter. FML

agreeclassic 52 417

vote type 1 3 665

Denied

By Anonymous - 31/12/2020 14:02

Today, I asked a girl for her number and I wrote it down when she gave it to me. When I called her, it wasn't her. She'd given me a restaurant's phone number. FML

agreeclassic 767

vote type 1 304

By philderichmond - 14/06/2009 02:24 - United States

Today, I met a cute girl at a dance club. I entered her number in my phone just before she left the club. With a proud smile, I turned the screen towards my buddy, showing off my accomplishment. Attempting to give me a friendly pat he accidentally closed my phone. I hadn't saved the number. FML

agreeclassic 42 165

vote type 1 17 589

Fat chance

By Dave - 23/04/2012 13:22 - United States - Brookfield

Today, I left my number on my receipt for a cute waitress. As I was leaving the bar, she came running out and called me over. I obviously got excited. Turns out I'd forgotten to sign my slip. FML

agreeclassic 12 662

vote type 1 22 062

By mrdave - 04/07/2009 05:54 - Canada

Today, I looked in my pocket for the phone number of a girl I met last night at a party. I remembered us talking and exchanging phone numbers. When I found the piece of paper, I discovered that instead of writing her number down, I had drunkenly written down my own. FML

agreeclassic 10 906

vote type 1 46 492

By Anonymous - 24/09/2013 07:15 - United States - Petrolia

Today, I took my girlfriend out to eat at a diner where my friend works. My friend was our waiter but too busy to talk much. He texted me after we'd left to tell me that my girlfriend had slipped him her number. FML

agreeclassic 55 031

vote type 1 3 421

Misleading

By KL. - 05/06/2009 19:46 - Canada

Today, I was at a club with a friend. A cute guy kept smiling and looking over at me. He left his seat and went to the bar and brought back two drinks. He waved me over and then said, "Can you tell your hot friend that I bought her a drink?" FML

agreeclassic 61 521

vote type 1 5 021

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TOP COMMENTS

brill 3

Sunday 30 August 2009 20:28

that's so insulting :( you should give someone else her number instead of your friend :)

brunocbreis 0

Sunday 30 August 2009 20:28

You're disturbingly creepy D:

Comments

fxdxhk90 0

Monday 31 August 2009 22:43

Simple solution: right down her number on every bathroom stall you can find under the heading "if you want a good time call..."

thesunshotme 0

Monday 31 August 2009 22:47

I like that idea :D

dennisisgood100 7

Thursday 4 August 2011 23:42

That sucks man... It's either that of her ugly friends the one that wants ur #

sarah56195 0

Wednesday 11 April 2012 21:49

That sucks. Sorry OP.

grigri75 35

Tuesday 31 July 2012 1:39

that sucks, sorry

decidedlyvague 11

Thursday 25 October 2012 2:37

Best. Wingman. Ever.

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Keywords

Miscellaneous Stalker My ex Coworkers Love Internet Relatable AITA Pokémon Awkward Work Parenting Kids Annoying Shopping Underwear Jealousy Parents Thief Sex Intimacy Suspicious Family NSFW Birthday Gifts I need your advice Accident Abuse Moving home

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Today, my boyfriend cutely climbed through my bedroom window for some sexy time. He decided he'd introduce bondage. As I was tied to the bed, completely naked, we heard the front door open. He got scared and left via the window, leaving me handcuffed to my bed. FML

agreeclassic 37 499

vote type 1 8 516

Today, my girlfriend thought it would be funny to go to the Apple store and log me on to Facebook on every single computer. FML

agreeclassic 49 919

vote type 1 9 163

Today, I was driving in stop and go traffic and passed two accidents in the process. I got nervous and decided to change routes to avoid getting hit. As I was trying to find an alternative route on my GPS, I rear-ended the car in front of me. FML

agreeclassic 9 320

vote type 1 56 509

Today, I accidentally drank my sister's science project. Her science project consisted of taking a glass of orange juice and putting maggots in it to see if they would live. I thought it was just pulp. FML

agreeclassic 42 962

vote type 1 24 929

Today, while trying to explain to my date that a small coffee would be fine, I said, "I'm cheap and I'm easy." FML

agreeclassic 14 213

vote type 1 34 276

Today, I managed to lock myself out of my house again. My only option was crawling through the dog door. I managed it once before, but I must've put on weight because this time I got stuck halfway. My neighbour came over to “see if everything was OK.” He then helped push me through. FML

agreeclassic 215

vote type 1 401