Intimacy, Sex and Miscellaneous: Good question - FML

Good question

By epictothemax - 10/03/2009 20:40 - United States

Spicy

Today, I went home for my grandma's 95th birthday. While there she noticed my new tongue stud and asked why I would get it done. Before I could reply, my cousin said, "So she can can make the boys happier when she's sucking on them." She's 9 years-old. FML

agreeclassic 61 143

vote type 1 13 224

Christmas: Snowy Joys and Blunders
Enjoy Christmas stories where unexpected gifts and family reunions create lasting memories... and fun! More…

Previous FML Next FML

Similar FMLs

By Anonymous - 16/10/2010 04:17 - United States

Today, my perfectly sane and healthy 90 year old grandmother had a heart to heart with me. She told me she'd pay for a boob job. When I asked why, she said, "Sweetie, you'll never attract someone with those tiny suckers." FML

agreeclassic 33 728

vote type 1 4 024

By Anonymous - 24/03/2009 10:41 - Canada

Spicy

Today, my boyfriend came over for dinner, but couldn't eat because he had just gotten his tongue pierced. My grandpa heard this, winked at my boyfriend and said "Can't eat now, but I bet that's all you'll be doing in a few weeks..." My super protective father was sitting right next to him. FML

agreeclassic 85 975

vote type 1 9 601

By Anonymous - 04/12/2010 23:28 - United Kingdom

Spicy

Today, my parents hassled me for wanting to get my tongue pierced, saying it was filthy, unprofessional, and degrading. About an hour later, my sister let slip that my nipple is pierced. FML

agreeclassic 18 507

vote type 1 36 790

Sorry grandma

By Anonymous - 22/04/2021 17:01

Today, my grandma called me to see how my oral surgery went. She gave me a kiss over the phone, but when I tried to make the kiss sound back to her, the bandages got in the way and it came out as a fart sound. FML

agreeclassic 843

vote type 1 168

By lectro - 23/11/2008 08:22 - France

Today, I swallowed the piercing that I had bought for my tongue yesterday. FML

agreeclassic 14 941

vote type 1 31 053

By ohmygod - 20/06/2013 05:49 - United States

Today, I was eating lunch when my grandmother came over and started watching me. Suddenly she said, "I see you're getting breasts". I'm a guy. FML

agreeclassic 43 404

vote type 1 8 462

By Anonymous - 28/11/2014 12:16 - Australia

Today, we spent the day with my grandmother. During a family conversation, my sweet little grandmother looked me up and down, and without any hesitation said, "I remember you being so beautiful," before looking at my mother, mouthing, "What happened?" and laughing. She's 87. FML

agreeclassic 33 716

vote type 1 3 275

By Pierced - 30/05/2017 18:00

Today, my mother accused me of getting another lip piercing done on the sly to spite her. She finally realised I have more than one and won't believe I've always had two. Thanks for noticing, mom. FML

agreeclassic 3 123

vote type 1 447

By mee - 02/01/2016 08:25 - United States - Opelousas

Today, I visited my boyfriend's uncle's house for a party. His 8 year-old cousin started asking if I like penis, so my reaction was to laugh, spitting my drink on her and her new dress. She can't pronounce peanuts, and I can't visit anymore. FML

agreeclassic 22 417

vote type 1 3 833

By Anonymous - 10/09/2013 07:04 - United States

Today, I found out my grandma wears dentures when I had to fish them out of a cooler. She lost them bobbing for beer at a local bar. FML

agreeclassic 37 958

vote type 1 2 616

Next

TOP COMMENTS

lolajelly 0

Wednesday 11 March 2009 1:24

LMAO i just want to keep up the pattern of starting the comments with LMAO

dang_fml 0

Wednesday 11 March 2009 1:09

LMAO! smart kid

Comments

dzbasketball 0

Sunday 31 May 2009 19:55

kids are so perverted nowadays.

Baby_gurl13 0

Sunday 14 June 2009 5:30

what a little perv!

smartsportsbabe 0

Monday 17 August 2009 6:05

That's fed up lol

brianjman14 22

Saturday 7 November 2009 23:10

lol epic win for kid why u wanna get tongue pierced? ear pierced are best

LGshorty 0

Wednesday 13 January 2010 23:48

shit

ScarletMontgomar 0

Thursday 18 February 2010 1:32

LMFAO!!!

highsheep 0

Tuesday 2 March 2010 7:59

I will marry your cousin.

d4m4s74 12

Friday 23 July 2010 11:32

@53. the zipper thing is a photoshop

Softballsam11 0

Tuesday 12 October 2010 9:12

Tongue piercing, really? YDI!

X_o_X_ocutie 0

Sunday 3 April 2011 5:38

LMAO but is that the reason

3
4
5
6
7

VDM sur Facebook

Keywords

Miscellaneous Stalker My ex Coworkers Love Internet Relatable AITA Pokémon Awkward Work Parenting Kids Annoying Shopping Underwear Jealousy Parents Thief Sex Intimacy Suspicious Family NSFW Birthday Gifts I need your advice Accident Abuse Moving home

Top

Top

Today, I was at Target buying four coloring books. As I was in line, the woman behind me said that buying coloring books was a good idea to keep my kids occupied. I smiled and said that it would give me a few minutes to relax. I'm a 26 year-old guy with no kids. The coloring books were for me. FML

agreeclassic 18 656

vote type 1 37 206

Today, after sending and receiving hundreds of hints, I mustered up the courage to ask my best friend out. He completely ignored my words, and went on to tell me all about his mother's intestinal bug. FML

agreeclassic 1 828

vote type 1 231

Today, while I was waiting to pull out of a parking space, my boyfriend decided it would be funny to put the car into reverse instead of drive while I was waiting for traffic to clear. I don't think the people who own the car behind me were laughing. Nor is my now ex-boyfriend. FML

agreeclassic 30 127

vote type 1 3 417

Today, I found out my son has been lying about being sick. He kept complaining so I took him to the doctor and got him some medicine. Now he’s actually sick because he took meds he didn’t even need. He did it solely so he could get an expensive get well soon gift. FML

agreeclassic 4 025

vote type 1 875

Today, it transpired that my mom has been spending her stint in prison trying to play matchmaker for me, going so far as to call one of her finds, "good breeding stock". Apparently, I don't already have enough criminals in my life; last September I was the only member of my family of 5 not locked up. FML

agreeclassic 45 978

vote type 1 3 115

Today, I was walking towards a party where I knew my cheating ex would be. I passionately rehearsed how I would have a go at him big time when I met him. Guess who was walking right behind me and heard it all. FML

agreeclassic 15 597

vote type 1 43 639