Intimacy: Good catch

Good catch

By Anonymous - 17/03/2011 23:52 - United States

Today, my father came over to my house. I realized there were condoms on the table, so I subtly moved a vase to hide them. He then gave me an unamused look and said, "I know you have sex. You've been married for nine years. Grow the fuck up, dumbass." FML

agreeclassic 21 597

vote type 1 91 051

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By ifeeldirty - 27/10/2011 12:22 - United States

Today, my dad walked in on me and my girlfriend having sex. His only reaction was to mutter, "Put some back into it, son." before awkwardly sidling out. FML

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Today, my father-in-law caught me, a lesbian, buying condoms. He thought I was cheating. I didn’t know how to tell him that his daughter is allergic to our dildo. FML

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By condom_kid - 27/07/2009 14:34 - United States

Today, my father pulled me aside right before heading off to my girlfriend's house. He said "Next time you have sex, don't leave the tied up condom in its wrapper inside your short's pocket, otherwise your mother might find it again as she's folding laundry." FML

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By Chels - 11/05/2011 05:17 - Canada

Today, my boyfriend came over to have dinner with my parents. They got quite drunk, and my mom shouted at him, "Have you had sex with my daughter?" As he was shaking his head, my dad said, "I have" in a really creepy voice, thinking it would be funny. It wasn't. FML

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By accident - 14/02/2014 22:41 - United States - San Francisco

Today, my dad gave me the sex talk. After telling me all the stuff I already knew, he told me never to use Durex condoms. He said, "They break a lot. That's the only reason you're around today, really." then chuckled to himself. FML

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By CallaC - 15/03/2012 02:01 - Canada

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Code of silence

By nean83 - 12/01/2013 05:11 - United States - Inglewood

Today, my dad was helping me move my stuff out. I'd asked my boyfriend to deal with my sex toys and lingerie, but still my dad showed up later at my new place, handed me a box full of them all, and simply said, "I don't want to know." FML

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By NotSoComfortable - 17/12/2015 09:10 - Italy - Pontecchio Polesine

Today, I turned 18. My dad congratulated me and gifted me his collection of old porn magazines. Not bad, dad, but perhaps not during family dinner next time. FML

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By wtfdad - 16/11/2014 05:29 - United States - Little Silver

Today, my husband and I told my parents I was pregnant with my first child. The only thing my father did was look at my husband and tell him his pull out game was weak. FML

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By Anonymous - 21/02/2015 13:46

Today, my dad gave my younger brother condoms and a pat on the back, even though he doesn't have a girlfriend. This is after called me a whore after he saw me kissing my long-term boyfriend last week. FML

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livewire1701 8

Friday 18 March 2011 8:08

Your dad is awesome!

YakuzaxGeneralz 9

Friday 18 March 2011 8:08

it's not like they were cemented to the table. stop being lazy and pick them up. youre not hiding a sex swing.

Comments

nathantat 0

Saturday 19 March 2011 2:50

YDI for still using condoms after 9 years. I feel sorry for your husband.

marissabunge23 0

Saturday 19 March 2011 3:15

haha lmao

needsagf14 12

Saturday 19 March 2011 3:44

mean father. you were just avoiding an awkward moment...didn't work

justthinkaboutit 2

Saturday 19 March 2011 4:00

watch out. it's the grammar police! get a life Geesh!!!!

IamCharlie1 0

Saturday 19 March 2011 5:04

IamCharlie1 0

Saturday 19 March 2011 5:13

Everyone has their own preference. it's not that big of a deal.

MyBabyAeries 3

Saturday 19 March 2011 5:13

Your dad is such a jerk. It's a respect thing... Granted, having condoms on the table is convenient, but not for company. :P -- IMO, it's a Dad-thing. They'll never get over themselves.