Embarrassing, Dogs, Contraception and Intimacy: Gettin' some - FML

Gettin' some

By Username - 01/05/2011 08:20 - United States

Spicy

Today, I grabbed my t-shirt off the floor beside the bed and got up to walk my boyfriend's dog. After several trips around the block, and plenty of strange looks, I got back upstairs and saw the used condom stuck to my sleeve from the night before. FML

agreeclassic 17 515

vote type 1 46 436

Christmas: Snowy Joys and Blunders
Enjoy Christmas stories where unexpected gifts and family reunions create lasting memories... and fun! More…

Previous FML Next FML

Similar FMLs

By Jake - 02/10/2012 11:52 - United States - Athens

Spicy

Today, I woke up with a used condom on my face. Turns out my roommate had sex with his girlfriend during the night and instead of getting up and throwing it away, he decided to throw it across the room. FML

agreeclassic 39 647

vote type 1 2 817

By PCJJacket - 05/05/2014 17:30 - United States - Los Angeles

Spicy

Today, I had sex with my girlfriend while my parents were out. After they got home, my dog brought out our used condom. FML

agreeclassic 52 242

vote type 1 26 178

Good boy

By Tucker - 18/11/2009 21:35 - United States

Spicy

Today, my girlfriend and I were sitting downstairs with my mom. We heard the dog running around upstairs and called him down. He came running down the stairs with a used condom in his mouth. The same condom my girlfriend and I lost two weeks ago. He put it directly in my mom's hands. FML

agreeclassic 23 497

vote type 1 8 809

Busted by Detective Dog

By ash - 04/01/2011 21:09 - United States

Spicy

Today, it was my boyfriend's last night visiting my family. My dog decided to go through the trash, then run up to my dad with one of our used condoms caught in her teeth. My parents didn't even know we were sleeping in the same room. They know a lot more now. FML

agreeclassic 30 925

vote type 1 14 860

By Anonymous - 15/01/2011 10:19 - United Kingdom

Spicy

Today, I was at my girlfriends house. After having sex, we went downstairs to where the rest of the family was. At this point I did not realise that I had a used condom stuck to my foot. The family did. FML

agreeclassic 13 902

vote type 1 40 516

By anonymous - 08/01/2015 19:10 - United States - Noblesville

Spicy

Today, after getting into bed, I found a used condom under my covers. I asked my roommate about it. She freely admitted that since my bed was comfier than hers, she had sex with her boyfriend on it. FML

agreeclassic 44 178

vote type 1 3 382

By Anonymous - 31/07/2012 03:36 - United States - Chicago

Spicy

Today, I whacked off with a condom on and left it in the living room waste basket so it looked like I finally had sex with someone. FML

agreeclassic 16 459

vote type 1 42 601

Rushed

By Anonymous - 31/05/2012 20:53 - Canada - Courtenay

Spicy

Today, in a rush to get my clothes back on at my girlfriend's house at the sound of her parents opening the front door, I forgot to take the condom off. Her dad watched it fall out of my pant leg and onto the kitchen floor. FML

agreeclassic 21 672

vote type 1 44 769

Oblivious

By Anonymous - 24/02/2025 12:00 - Slovenia - Ljubljana

Spicy

Today, my ex and I had sex. Afterwards, I cleaned myself with a t-shirt and left a huge sperm stain on the front of it. After that, my stepfather came home, so we left. As we were sitting in the car in front of the house, my stepfather left on a bicycle, wearing the t-shirt. Sunlight reflected off the stain. FML

agreeclassic 122

vote type 1 468

By coldwetnose - 09/05/2011 06:08 - United States

Spicy

Today, my phone alarm woke me up. It had fallen under my boyfriend's bed. Naked, I got on all fours to retrieve it. My boyfriend's dog stuck his nose in my ass. FML

agreeclassic 47 252

vote type 1 18 917

Next

TOP COMMENTS

mandi4murphy 0

Sunday 1 May 2011 19:05

I'm pretty sure you should have seen that before you left the house hun. gross

juliahockey 0

Sunday 1 May 2011 19:04

that's disgusting. YDI definitley.

Comments

123Puppy 33

Monday 27 April 2020 19:08

Gross...Why wasn’t it in the trash?...

VDM sur Facebook

Keywords

Miscellaneous Stalker My ex Love Coworkers Internet Relatable AITA Pokémon Awkward Work Kids Parenting Annoying Shopping Jealousy Underwear Parents Thief Intimacy Suspicious Sex Family NSFW Birthday Gifts I need your advice Accident Abuse Moving home

Top

Top

Today, I was watching TV with my grandma. I said aloud, "Dang, that actor is hot." My grandma pointed out he was a spitting image of my cousin. I realized she was right, and that I may as well be attracted to my own cousin. FML

agreeclassic 22 959

vote type 1 3 862

Today, I saw a kid getting bullied; a girl was hitting him in the head. After having an inner struggle with what to do, I tried to stop them. Both kids then turned on me, and called me a "hippo". FML

agreeclassic 42 716

vote type 1 4 453

Today, as I was leaving for a 2-week vacation after working my ass off for 2 years, my area manager handed me a project. It's a 3-week job, and he told me he needs it when I get back. FML

agreeclassic 3 132

vote type 1 172

Today, I woke up to an angry and threatening email from a porn company. Apparently, I took a sleeping pill last night and wrote a nasty email to the company about how they mistreat women. The best part is that I used a web contact form instead of an email, so I have absolutely no idea what I wrote. FML

agreeclassic 13 403

vote type 1 2 810

Today, I went to Starbucks to use the bathroom. After I knocked on the door and turned the handle, a little old lady ripped the door open and yelled, "I WAS TAKING A DUMP. YOU WANNA COME IN AND WIPE MY SHIT? DO YOU?!" and then continued to ask me the same question for five minutes. FML

agreeclassic 31 901

vote type 1 4 550

Today, my husband thinks I stopped wearing underwear to be sexy. Truth is, I’ve gained so much weight during quarantine that even my granny panties no longer fit. FML

agreeclassic 1 375

vote type 1 655