Cute and Kids: Genius - FML

Genius

By ohno - 13/07/2011 04:43 - United States

Today, I was invited over to a dinner with the CEOs of my company, along with my two children. My 3 year-old asked loudly why we have two "nose holes", to which my 4 year-old son replied, "So you can pick your nose and still breathe!" He then demonstrated. FML

agreeclassic 36 477

vote type 1 7 100

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Nose job

By pignose - 05/09/2019 02:01

Today, I was babysitting for a new family. The youngest said, "Wow! You have huge nostrils!" She noticed my offended look and pushed her nose up like a pig's, saying, "It’s okay! Now I do too!" FML

agreeclassic 1 584

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That's awkward

By Dannotmann - 04/05/2021 22:01

Today, I took my wife and our 6 year-old son to a company party. Sometimes I take my son to work with me, so he knows my coworkers. One of them walked over and introduces herself to my wife, and my son says, "Yeah, they go to into the bathroom together all the time during break!"’ Thanks, son. FML

agreeclassic 300

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By Wraith - 06/11/2013 17:27 - Canada - Holland Landing

Today, because I'm tall enough to see over the cubicle walls at work, I witnessed my 50-year-old co-worker pulling his finger out of his nose and immediately popping it into his mouth. FML

agreeclassic 40 717

vote type 1 4 810

Gross

By Anonyme - 26/06/2015 00:40 - France - Géanges

Today, our 8-month-old son had a big cold and his nose was blocked. I couldn't find the baby nose pump in it's usual place, so I went to ask my husband. He had it in his hand, and was using to decorate the cake that was going to be served to tonight's guests, my parents. FML

agreeclassic 29 534

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By Viciousvixen_21 - 02/04/2011 07:35 - United States

Today, I asked my 2 year old son to clean up his toys. When I bent down to give him a good job kiss afterwards, he punched me in the nose. FML

agreeclassic 36 685

vote type 1 12 252

By Bailey - 05/04/2011 04:04 - Canada

Today, my four year old daughter came up to me with her finger in her ear. She then let me know that her earwax tasted better than the dinner I made. In front of my whole family. FML

agreeclassic 36 485

vote type 1 6 727

By unattractive - 18/12/2010 09:32 - Canada

Today, my boyfriend asked me to pick his nose for him. FML

agreeclassic 32 554

vote type 1 6 367

Goldmining

By Anonymous - 22/09/2021 08:00

Today, about a minute after telling my son not to pick his nose, he caught me picking mine. This has led to a cascade of, "Why should I follow dad's rules when even dad doesn’t follow dad rules?" He now questions everything I tell him, and is breaking every rule in the book to make his point. FML

agreeclassic 240

vote type 1 1 532

By jamjamy - 26/12/2008 04:53 - France

Today, at work as an optician, I gave a little girl a new pair of glasses and asked her if she could see better with them. She replied, "Oh, yeah, you've got two big zits on your nose!" FML

agreeclassic 22 050

vote type 1 2 640

Little angel

By Mamaof2 - 11/01/2025 06:00 - United States - Las Vegas

Today, I was having dinner with my husband and two toddlers. My two year-old son was being incredibly cute and independently drinking water out of an open cup. I commented on how much I loved him. Two seconds later, he threw said cup with water at my head and started laughing. FML

agreeclassic 374

vote type 1 178

Next

TOP COMMENTS

YacL 15

Wednesday 13 July 2011 12:07

Suddenly, it all makes sense.

krez 20

Wednesday 13 July 2011 12:05

I guess you didn't know that already? Your kid is smart!

Comments

thejerk56 8

Wednesday 13 July 2011 19:58

if the ceo's didnt laugh at that then they have no souls.

xBunii18x 2

Wednesday 13 July 2011 20:01

funny kid! :D

Autocorrect 0

Wednesday 13 July 2011 20:05

That's too cute.

army129 0

Wednesday 13 July 2011 20:11

not at the table Carlos..

hopestr 4

Wednesday 13 July 2011 20:35

lol:) gotta admit that's kinda funny. kids will be kids

floresmarquezhah 0

Wednesday 13 July 2011 20:50

That's cute :)

IamDre 5

Wednesday 13 July 2011 21:18

Wow, eureka!

psycho456 0

Wednesday 13 July 2011 21:32

so?

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Today, my house got broken into for the third time. The nice police officer said that if I didn't want my house to keep being robbed I should, "Fix the place up so it doesn't look like a crummy vacant building." FML

agreeclassic 27 806

vote type 1 8 618

Today, I found out that my 43 year-old wife has been having a cyber relationship with a 14 year-old kid on Halo. FML

agreeclassic 47 114

vote type 1 4 491

Today, after nine years, I got back together with my first love, the man who taught me about sensuality and touch, and who no one could measure up to since. I guess this time I’ll have to do the teaching, because he has somehow forgotten even the basics of how to touch a woman. FML

agreeclassic 528

vote type 1 202

Today, I introduced myself as a sex addict, as a joke, to break the ice while meeting new people. One of my friends took me seriously and said he was a porn addict. He told me how happy he was that he had found someone else who had the same feelings and was so happy he could confide in me. FML

agreeclassic 9 526

vote type 1 44 558

Today, while my parents were grocery shopping, I cleaned the kitchen, swept floors, did laundry, and cleaned bathrooms, only to finish right before they got home. After dinner, my dad bitched and complained that I didn't take out the trash and he had no room to throw away his paper plate. FML

agreeclassic 2 227

vote type 1 151

Today, I woke up to a video call from my entitled father, who was fuming and yelling at me for buying a PS5. With MY money. I don't even live with him anymore. FML

agreeclassic 1 020

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