Miscellaneous: Gassy

Gassy

By Anonymous - 06/12/2010 22:53 - United States

Today, I decided to take a nap in the university library. I felt like I'd only closed my eyes for a minute, when a guy woke me up to tell me that I'd been farting in my sleep for the last half hour, and that the librarian was becoming concerned. FML

agreeclassic 32 972

vote type 1 9 111

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By Skyler - 24/04/2013 19:14 - United States

Today, my school took part in a standardized state test. After finishing, I decided to take a nap, only to be awoken by the test monitor, who wanted me to leave. Apparently, I was ferociously farting in my sleep and was disturbing the people still taking the test. FML

agreeclassic 62 278

vote type 1 14 348

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By Anonymous - 14/10/2019 12:00

Today, I woke myself up by farting in my sleep, only to realize that the guy I'd brought home from the bar was still next to me. He was awake. FML

agreeclassic 1 495

vote type 1 559

By Anonymous - 20/01/2011 20:05 - United States

Today, I dozed off during a lecture. When I woke up, I didn't recognize any of the people surrounding me, and I saw one guy pointing and laughing at me. It turns out, my professor instructed everyone to let me sleep because he wanted to see how long it would be before I woke up. I was asleep for three hours. FML

agreeclassic 12 086

vote type 1 34 255

By Noname - 19/02/2009 23:17 - United States

Today, I was at the library studying. There was a really cute guy across the room. I decided to play it cool and walk his way and grab some water. Right as I walked by, my body decided to let out the loudest fart. He laughed. I kept walking and asked my friend to grab my books. FML

agreeclassic 34 017

vote type 1 14 139

By sleepytime - 05/10/2009 16:36 - United States

Today, I was really, REALLY tired at work. I went to the restroom to take a little break, and must have dozed off, because I was awoken by my boss, knocking on the door of the stall. Apparently, I had been snoring. FML

agreeclassic 13 705

vote type 1 32 937

By Anonymous - 24/11/2009 05:57 - United States

Today, like many other days, I fell asleep in math class. Unlike other days, however, I woke up with a start while ripping a really loud fart in my sleep. The whole class heard it because it was during a lecture. Even the teacher was laughing at me and I had to walk, no, run out of the room. FML

agreeclassic 10 687

vote type 1 29 311

By embarassed - 21/04/2011 03:24 - United States

Today, I fell asleep at a party. I farted so loud that I woke myself up. Everyone heard. FML

agreeclassic 33 366

vote type 1 12 954

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By Anonymous - 09/01/2021 07:01 - United States - Fort Worth

Today, while studying in the library, I felt a sudden urge to pass gas. There were not too many people around, so I let it go while in my seat and it went unnoticed. What caught the attention of everybody was the puddle slowly forming under my seat. Turns out, I farted so hard I pissed myself. FML

agreeclassic 515

vote type 1 1 101

By Anonymous - 26/01/2019 11:00 - United States - Chicago

Today, in my sleep I let out a couple of farts. Normally this wouldn't be a big deal, but on this night I had slept in my mom's room. She came to check in on me and violently woke me up because she thought I pooped in the bed. Now my entire family knows I fart in my sleep. FML

agreeclassic 2 148

vote type 1 393

By Anonymous - 11/08/2009 04:06 - United States

Today, I was at the beach with friends and I fell asleep while I was tanning. When I woke up, everyone was laughing hysterically. I asked what was so funny, and one of my friends replies, "you farted so loud in your sleep that you woke yourself up." FML

agreeclassic 53 567

vote type 1 7 961

DocBastard 38

Tuesday 7 December 2010 1:41

You should have booked it out of there. Your gas speaks volumes about you. Don't shelf this issue- I would get your colon checked periodically.

DocBastard 38

Tuesday 7 December 2010 2:25

I always thought that stood for "Lockheed Martin Astronautics Operations," but it all makes sense now!

Comments

Epic_Times 10

Sunday 15 May 2011 19:37

HAHAHAHA

Epic_Times 10

Sunday 15 May 2011 19:39

HAHAHAHA I laughed so hard! Thanks i needed that laugh!:D Lol i can imagine the stereotypical old lady librarian staring at you.

WTSchool 0

Monday 7 May 2012 14:33

I'm always afraid this will happen to me if I ever fall asleep in class... which is why I try not to... xD

Greenmarsh 31

Friday 2 August 2013 5:11

Sorry Dude, next time i'll move the body.

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Today, I spent nearly two hours listening to our cleaning lady talking about her son's infected penis, her fear of dentists, how to catch and kill ducks, her husband's childhood and her supposedly murdered dog. She ended up crying and left without cleaning. FML

agreeclassic 31 137

vote type 1 3 480

Today, the dry skin on my feet has gotten so bad that my boyfriend uses my feet to itch his legs when we're cuddling. FML

agreeclassic 20 550

vote type 1 21 941

Today, I was at the airport and I offered to help an elderly man carry his golf clubs. Apparently, I sounded sarcastic and condescending, because he started screaming at me about etiquette and manners in front of the entire airport. FML

agreeclassic 22 142

vote type 1 2 380

Today, I was walking on the beach when I saw my crush walking towards me. I was thinking about what I was going to do while playing with my top that ties in the front. I decided that I was just going to smile. When we got closer to each other, I smiled and waved, and as I put my hand up it untied my top. FML

agreeclassic 40 569

vote type 1 17 565

Today, I was trying out a new pizza recipe that I saw online. I made the dough, spread the sauce, and added my toppings. As I was about to put it in the oven, I realized I'd forgotten to preheat it. No big deal, or so I thought. I then knocked the entire fucking uncooked pizza face-first onto the kitchen floor. The dog ate better than I did tonight. FML

agreeclassic 392

vote type 1 174

Today, I realised being the only female engineering student sucks. I have exactly one friend, because everyone else is too busy staring at my boobs to have a conversation. FML

agreeclassic 30 772

vote type 1 4 839

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