Awkward, Parents and Intimacy: Don't wanna know

Don't wanna know

By Anonymous - 16/02/2011 05:50

Today, my dad gave me the dreaded sex talk, but he got sidetracked and started talking about how good my mum was in bed. FML

agreeclassic 52 240

vote type 1 4 192

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By Anonymous - 23/02/2012 20:25 - United States

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Today, my dad sat me down for the sex talk. Almost before he could open his mouth, my mother popped her head into the room and said, "Be realistic, Dan. Who would want to sleep with that?" FML

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By more than I wanted to know - 13/05/2013 19:10 - Italy - San Giustino

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By linn - 27/09/2012 20:14 - United States

Today, my mom decided the time was right to give me the sex talk. Towards the end, I had to excuse myself to the bathroom. As I came back, I overheard my dad telling my mom that I'm so unpopular, the only time I'll get laid is when I'm being put in a coffin. FML

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Today, I got the sex talk from my dad. It wouldn't have been so bad if he hadn't said, "It's not the size of the stick, it's how you use it." I'm a girl. FML

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Today, my father decided it would be a good idea to give me the sex talk, at Target, at the top of his lungs. FML

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Thanks mom

By Anonymous - 14/02/2021 14:01 - Colombia

Today, my mom decided it was a good idea to remind me about my non-existent sex life while all the family was having dinner. FML

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By PPP - 28/04/2015 15:05 - United States

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The birds and the bees

By Anonymous - 04/08/2022 18:00

Today, I was having the "sex talk" with my mom because I really want to have sex with my boyfriend. My dad overheard us and is sulking. The only reason he hasn’t said anything like, “I’ll kill the boy” or, “Not until you’re married” is because he’s scared of my mom. Now everything is awkward at home FML

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Scarred for life

By Aly - 09/12/2011 15:40 - United States

Today, my dad finally decided to give me the "sex talk." It was going fine until he said, "If you ever decide to have sex, picture my face like this" and pointed to his face, which had a creepy, intense stare. He just ruined sex for me. Forever. FML

agreeclassic 48 197

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TheFlyingMan 8

Wednesday 16 February 2011 12:09

I bet she's pretty good.

Asoka_fml_fml 0

Wednesday 16 February 2011 12:45

you should've said "mom said your dicks small"

Comments

letsbombbritain 0

Monday 28 March 2011 5:04

it's mom u ******* prick

UofLCardFan08 6

Thursday 14 April 2011 0:05

Dude, not everyon says 'mom' across the world. Don't be a d-bag.

killedmyteacher 0

Monday 28 March 2011 16:19

I don't have to be told how "good" my parents are. I hear how good they are all night, and morning.

jdog1231 0

Wednesday 1 June 2011 4:30

lol

aswan15 0

Friday 12 August 2011 0:23

You do know you spell mOm with an O

KailyKii 11

Friday 18 November 2011 13:43

In some places it's spelt MUM. Australia, New Zealand ect.

henry214365 4

Thursday 10 November 2011 3:31

Lawl

ack62 2

Thursday 29 December 2011 19:34

Jim's dad!

xHexIsxMyxLifex 0

Saturday 25 February 2012 21:31

That's awkward!

hiattebrittany 0

Saturday 24 March 2012 4:37

Can you say scared for life!

subiedude08 17

Friday 19 July 2013 14:38

Awwwkkkkwwwaaarrrddd

emilytheperson 17

Monday 6 July 2015 12:04

Oh god...

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