dadtoporno By Emil - 21/11/2017 03:30 Today I told my dad that I wanted to go see a movie that had an actor I loved in it. He took me to see it and it turned out to be a porno.. FML agreeclassic 48 vote type 1 58 Share Tweet Share
Today, my mom tried to ground me, even though I moved into my own flat to escape her. I told her 'my flat, my rules' so she tried to confiscate my Xbox because 'she’s the boss of me.' The look on her face as the cops took her away was worth the shouting match we’ll have when she makes bail. FML agreeclassic 1 921 vote type 1 182
Today, after struggling to get up on time all week at 5 a.m., it's finally my day off, and boom, I'm up exactly at 5 a.m., naturally. No alarm, no struggle. FML agreeclassic 973 vote type 1 130
Today, my boyfriend and I were furniture shopping. They had miniature versions built of some of the desks. He commented how they were "cute for little kids" to use. They were 6 inches tall. I had to explain to him that they were only models, not real desks. I'm dating Zoolander. FML agreeclassic 40 956 vote type 1 5 175
Today, I realized that my mom has not had a date, or had sex, in 50 years. I've become her 'Husband-Son'. FML agreeclassic 894 vote type 1 202
Today, I asked my mom if I was ugly. She said, "Ask your girlfriend." I said I didn't have one. She said "Exactly." FML agreeclassic 53 506 vote type 1 5 319
Today, I turned 18. My parents remembered that I loved German chocolate cake, so I awoke to a hot, fudge-filled chocolate cake with a slice cut out just for me. I've been lactose-intolerant for 8 years. As I cried, my mom handed me tissues, while eating the "Happy" part of my cake. FML agreeclassic 30 192 vote type 1 5 668