Sex, Pranks, Awkward, Dad jokes and Intimacy: Dad jokes! - FML

Dad jokes!

By Chels - 11/05/2011 05:17 - Canada

Spicy

Today, my boyfriend came over to have dinner with my parents. They got quite drunk, and my mom shouted at him, "Have you had sex with my daughter?" As he was shaking his head, my dad said, "I have" in a really creepy voice, thinking it would be funny. It wasn't. FML

agreeclassic 68 572

vote type 1 5 335

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Not now!

By XxDiabolikalXx - 24/08/2010 07:30 - France

Spicy

Today, while having dinner, my boyfriend decided to tell everyone about our sex life. It wouldn't have been too bad except my father was sitting right next to me. My boyfriend's excuse was that he wanted to make my dad laugh. He didn't laugh. FML

agreeclassic 36 863

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Scolded

By oopsies - 08/01/2010 01:07 - United States

Spicy

Today, after having sexual intercourse with my boyfriend, we went downstairs to find his parents had come home early and had heard everything. I then received a long scolding from his mother of how I'd disrespected her house. My boyfriend received a high-five and a thumbs-up from his dad. FML

agreeclassic 28 102

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By iris - 18/05/2012 23:01 - Portugal - Lisbon

Spicy

Today, I brought my boyfriend home, and I introduced him to my parents. Afterwards, I took him to my room so we could have some "bonding" time. Right as things got pretty intense, I heard my dad yell, "Stop faking, honey." FML

agreeclassic 14 256

vote type 1 36 307

Love and threats

By soontobedumped - 15/01/2012 19:26 - United States

Spicy

Today, I introduced my boyfriend of two weeks to my parents. My dad asked me to leave the room so they could have some "guy talk". I eavesdropped, only to hear the words "sex-crazed fuck" and a threat to stick bamboo shoots under my boyfriend's fingernails if he ever hurt me. FML

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By Anonymous - 12/09/2010 16:56 - United States

Spicy

Today, I admitted to my mother that I've had sex with my boyfriend. She seemed to handle it well, but when my boyfriend came over, she condemned him to hell in between asking him what he would like to have for dinner. FML

agreeclassic 30 071

vote type 1 10 327

Nope out of there

By twintowers - 04/07/2009 20:30 - United States

Spicy

Today, my boyfriend and I were having phone sex. It got very wild and soon was interrupted by a knock on my door. My dad had come home early from work, and heard the whole thing. He demanded my boyfriend to come over, and he had a sex talk with him on the couch in front of the whole family. FML

agreeclassic 50 453

vote type 1 23 295

Cold shower

By MrAwsum - 17/03/2009 20:40 - United States

Spicy

Today, my boyfriend and I came back to my house after a night on the town. Thinking the house was empty, we had sex. Just as it was getting good, my phone beeped. It was a text from my mom, saying, "Quiet down. Even your father can tell you're faking." FML

agreeclassic 110 575

vote type 1 48 757

By Anonymous - 15/12/2011 17:26 - United States

Spicy

Today, while at family dinner, my boyfriend got drunk and told my entire family the things I do in bed. FML

agreeclassic 38 900

vote type 1 5 568

By hugme101 - 20/12/2010 00:20 - Canada

Today, after a long time convincing my parents that my boyfriend is really a good guy, not only did he decide to come by the house completely drunk, but he also ended up trying to kiss my mom, thinking it was me. FML

agreeclassic 31 118

vote type 1 9 716

By cumhole - 10/10/2012 02:32 - Canada - Toronto

Spicy

Today, after great sex with my boyfriend, I lay in my bed while he went to get a drink from downstairs. Hearing someone come up, I shouted out as a joke, "Damn babe, I'm covered in cum, was there a hole you didn't fill?" It wasn't my boyfriend, it was my dad. FML

agreeclassic 19 565

vote type 1 69 968

Next

TOP COMMENTS

coolkid_matt 11

Wednesday 11 May 2011 12:09

hahaha :D awkward

Badtz_maru_fml 0

Wednesday 11 May 2011 12:10

-Insert awkward silence-

Comments

FreebirdIII 1

Wednesday 11 May 2011 17:00

At least your trying to branch off a little bit. One day your family tree will look like a Y instead of a I.

malpalll 0

Wednesday 11 May 2011 17:07

honestly, that's the creepiest shit I've ever read. lol. I don't think it's funny at all.

DerangedKitten 6

Wednesday 11 May 2011 17:07

That's... disturbing.

j_cat187 19

Wednesday 11 May 2011 17:53

maby he was being serious

MegamiKaosu 28

Wednesday 11 May 2011 18:48

Question.... Did he?

RobotStrut 7

Wednesday 11 May 2011 19:39

that is absolutely ******* hilarious.

Calyx_fml 21

Wednesday 11 May 2011 19:54

So wrong, but so funny.

JSoler3013 4

Wednesday 11 May 2011 20:43

Anyone But Your Dad...

jdeshnerx3 0

Wednesday 11 May 2011 20:43

I threw up a little

FreebirdIII 1

Wednesday 11 May 2011 21:19

NOM NOM NOM

chaleighrae7 4

Wednesday 11 May 2011 21:23

awkward. incest.

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Top

Top

Today, my girlfriend came back from her mission trip with hickies all over her boobs. She said it wasn't cheating because she was doing God's work and that they canceled each other out. FML

agreeclassic 34 389

vote type 1 2 810

Today, my boyfriend told me he had a catphobia, but I forgot to tell him my mom has a new kitten, so when we went round he freaked out so much trying to escape this tiny kitten following him, it reminded me very much of Captain Hook trying to escape being eaten by the crocodile. FML

agreeclassic 373

vote type 1 707

Today, things were getting heated between me and the guy I like, and we were about to have sex. I told him to turn the TV off so we can get started. His response? "But I like this show." FML

agreeclassic 30 645

vote type 1 6 042

Today, on my way home to Bordeaux after a weekend in Paris, I had the pleasure of being sat next to a man who took out all the peanuts from a packet, counted them one by one, then sorted them into piles of five. This went on for an hour. FML

agreeclassic 587

vote type 1 115

Today, I had sex with a guy I'd had a crush on for a long time. When I asked if he was having trouble putting it in, he answered that he was fully in. FML

agreeclassic 4 070

vote type 1 680

Today, I fully intended to start going to the gym so I set my alarm an hour early so I could go before work and get it over with. Alas, when the alarm went off and I saw that horrible "5 a.m." on my phone, my brain put me straight back to sleep without my consent. I ended up being late for work. FML

agreeclassic 123

vote type 1 348