Miscellaneous: Can't take it anymore

Can't take it anymore

By Anonymous - this FML is from back in 2011 but it's good stuff - United States

Today, my toilet decided it wouldn't take any more shit from me, and flooded the bathroom. FML

agreeclassic 42 088

vote type 1 6 607

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By DonPedro - 16/01/2009 14:45 - United States

Today, I took a dump at work. When I went to flush the toilet, it clogged and began to overflow. I left the bathroom as it was and as I walked out, my boss came in. FML

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By loveloves154 - 30/03/2018 15:00

Today, our toilet overflowed during the night. Over 50 gallons worth leaked through the floor and the ceiling to the room below. I am now covered in poop water. What a way to start the day. FML

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By Ferniferousfern - 20/08/2018 18:30

Today, I sat down to use the bathroom after a long day of work. My toilet, however, had other plans, as a spontaneous, ear shattering crack flooded the entire bathroom, soaking the outer carpet and shorting out my bathroom scale. FML

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Shit show

By Malakai - 23/10/2018 22:00

Today, after taking a massive shit, I flushed the toilet and it clogged. It flooded to the brim and the shit came rising to the top. I didn't know what to do so I grabbed some toilet paper and picked it up, ran to my balcony, and launched it. It landed on my neighbor's car. FML

agreeclassic 1 273

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By TheKingDavis - 14/02/2011 07:11 - United States

Today, after dealing with tons of drama and working a 14 hour shift, I took a shower. When I stepped out, a weak spot in the floor gave way. While falling through the floor I grabbed the toilet tank lid, which fell into the tank and broke it. Now my leg hurts and the bathroom's flooded. FML

agreeclassic 34 123

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By Woody - 06/10/2018 14:00 - United States - Salt Lake City

Today, I went to take a dump at work, but the last person in the stall didn't flush. As I flushed for him, the shitty water splashed on my face. Some went in my mouth. FML

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Best seat in the house

By Rachey - 10/09/2024 00:00 - Ireland

Today, I was using the toilet at a friend's house when the toilet made a strange gurgling noise. Thinking it was just old plumbing, I flushed. The water started rising... and rising. Before I knew it, water, and whatever was in the toilet, began overflowing and flooding the bathroom. I had to go ask for help, and a mop. FML

agreeclassic 461

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By Anonymous - 05/02/2015 15:32 - United States - Glen Allen

Today, I walked into my bathroom, only to find no toilet paper and a piece of shitty wallpaper in the bowl. FML

agreeclassic 29 438

vote type 1 2 797

By Anonymous - 06/04/2017 18:00

Today, I had to stop on a long trip to use the restroom at a gas station. Apparently, there was water damage beneath the toilet, because after about two minutes of doing my business, it collapsed about seven inches beneath the floor. Guess who got covered in water, black mold, and poo. FML

agreeclassic 6 953

vote type 1 403

HELP!

By SeatofIgnorance - this FML is from back in 2017 but it's good stuff

Today, during an emergency bathroom visit, I finally broke the toilet seat my fiance had nagged me for months to replace. The broken seat sent me sprawling to the floor. I was still shitting. FML

agreeclassic 1 764

vote type 1 5 467

cymruambyth 0

Sunday 22 May 2011 23:48

well it does have a crappy job

jbird1193 3

Sunday 22 May 2011 23:55

finally, a comedian posts something on this site

Comments

irokyoursox 6

Sunday 22 May 2011 23:59

toilets have standards too

coltsluvr123 2

Monday 23 May 2011 1:48

well put napoleon

TheIrishJaneDoe 8

Monday 23 May 2011 1:56

Yeah, American Standards.

FarSide 22

Monday 23 May 2011 2:14

LOL. Funny.

sourgirl101 28

Monday 23 May 2011 3:00

TIJD, your comment cracked me up! I see you shop at Home Depot too! (:

Aerious 0

Monday 23 May 2011 0:01

All the puns are being voted down. ;(

cymruambyth 0

Monday 23 May 2011 0:04

except mine +1! woohoo!:D

Aerious 0

Monday 23 May 2011 0:21

You're cool.

RileyL29 0

Monday 23 May 2011 11:53

No. YOU, 35. You're like 15 and you have an iPhone. SO COOL.

Aerious 0

Monday 23 May 2011 21:32

So what if I have an iPhone?

username432 0

Monday 23 May 2011 0:01

bud-hum chhhhssss

PrickHead 0

Monday 23 May 2011 0:02

well aint that some shit

Shroomer 0

Monday 23 May 2011 0:02

u need to shit more often instead of unloading a week's worth at once

seraphxchild 3

Monday 23 May 2011 0:04

ha. puns.

ILoveTabz 0

Monday 23 May 2011 0:04

damn! uhmm go get a plunger QUICK!

livvyluvlaf 8

Monday 23 May 2011 3:46

too late :)

ILoveTabz 0

Monday 23 May 2011 3:58

damnit! he shoulda been a plumer! :)

atomicbaboon 0

Monday 23 May 2011 7:35

and you shoulda been a speler! :)

ILoveTabz 0

Monday 23 May 2011 13:40

your picture made me laugh :)

skorpien 1

Monday 23 May 2011 19:03

143, maybe she meant a person who puts the feather in those fancy hats? Not quite sure how that's relevant though…

BAMF519 0

Monday 23 May 2011 0:06

o shit that's bad:)!

kalbrek009 20

Monday 23 May 2011 0:07

sorry OP but this one made me LOL & made my day. :)

ohmygaaawsh29 0

Monday 23 May 2011 0:08

probably the most witty FML I've ever read.

awardZu 0

Tuesday 24 May 2011 0:01

Agreed. I'm happy to see someone could laugh at their problem, instead of the usual 'pity me' crap they spew.

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Keywords

Miscellaneous Stalker My ex Coworkers Love Internet Relatable AITA Pokémon Awkward Work Parenting Kids Annoying Shopping Underwear Jealousy Parents Thief Suspicious Sex Intimacy Family NSFW Birthday Gifts I need your advice Accident Abuse Moving home

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Today, I saw my neighbor's delinquent kid shooting squirrels with a BB gun. Shocked and furious at his cruel behavior, I told him to stop, with the threat of telling his parents. He responded by shooting me in the nuts and running away in a fit of laughter. FML

agreeclassic 39 107

vote type 1 11 158

Today, my wife caught our six-year-old son peeing in the bathroom sink. He pulled his little stool up in front, that he uses to brush his teeth, and was peeing in the sink. When we asked why, he said that he wanted to pee like a man, "like we do at football games." My son is using our bathroom sink as an urinal. FML

agreeclassic 1 837

vote type 1 329

Today, at work, the shopping carts have coin locks on them so people put them back or don't go stealing them. A lady couldn't find a coin, so I unlocked one with my key and said to her, "It doesn't look like you will run off and steal it" as a joke. She replied, "I can't run darling, I have an artificial leg." FML

agreeclassic 14 193

vote type 1 2 011

Today, I was wrapping up my move in a 16-foot truck with my car in tow. Google rerouted me to avoid traffic... through a state park. The road had only one lane. I can still hear the phalanx of cars honking at me. FML

agreeclassic 4 502

vote type 1 858

Today, I went to my friend's little brother's birthday party. A few of the younger kids were hitting me with a pool noodle, and I didn't really care until a 9-year-old loudly exclaimed, "Hit her in the pussy!" FML

agreeclassic 14 671

vote type 1 1 044

Today, I found out where the mysterious bites on my back keep coming from. It's not every day you find an earwig in your loofah. FML

agreeclassic 41 591

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Can't take it anymore

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