Calculating Tax and Tip By FML Approved - 11/10/2017 03:00 Math is hard. I agree, your life sucks 499 You deserved it 140 Share Tweet Share
Today, it's day four of liquid ass and violent hurling after I hosted a birthday party for my daughter, and one of the kids brought a stomach virus rather than a present. Yesterday my daughter started with the violent vomiting too. Everything smells like vomit in my home. Yay me! FML I agree, your life sucks 465 You deserved it 79
Today, I was going to take my boyfriend to Napa. It's my birthday and I wanted to do something big since last year my fiancée called off the wedding. My boyfriend just broke up with me because I'm "clearly not over" my ex. This makes two consecutive birthdays alone in romantic hotels I paid for. FML I agree, your life sucks 44 449 You deserved it 6 112
Today, my roommates sat me down and said we need to have a serious chat. I was worried, until they asked me if I could quit my new night job. When I asked why, they said it was because I wasn't home anymore to cook them dinner. FML I agree, your life sucks 6 092 You deserved it 470
Today, for the second day in a row, I got to hear both of my roommates having sex, through two closed doors and a hallway. This is as I hit my thirtieth month of involuntary celibacy. FML I agree, your life sucks 27 493 You deserved it 3 965
Today, I did my small part to help the environment by hanging my clothes outside to dry rather than using the dryer. The birds showed their appreciation by crapping on the majority of my clothes. FML I agree, your life sucks 45 725 You deserved it 13 306
Today, my dad tried to help me overcome my intense fear of horses (due to nearly being killed by one as a child) by taking me to a ranch. Within 30 minutes, a horse bit my face. FML I agree, your life sucks 4 021 You deserved it 480
There's an app for that.