Brain worms

By David Ryan - 11/09/2020 09:02 - United Kingdom

Today, I was walking by a neighbour when he said, "Is your dad home?" I swiftly replied, "I'm good thanks." FML

agreeclassic 1 043

vote type 1 382

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Good one, thanks

By RYZILLAHitZ - 30/06/2011 01:32 - United States

Today, as I was walking home from work, my dad drove past, pulled over, rolled down the window and asked, "Are you tired of walking?" To which I replied "Yes!" Just as I reached for the car door, he yelled "RUN A WHILE" and sped off. FML

agreeclassic 39 082

vote type 1 5 763

By Anonymous - 07/12/2010 10:35 - Norway

Today, I got a phone call from a friend, who lives in the same neighbourhood as me, wondering if it was my father she saw walking a dog by her house, wearing only his boxers. It was. FML

agreeclassic 27 938

vote type 1 2 391

Idiot

By anashaalmajiid - 05/03/2009 23:26 - United States

Today, my dad and a construction worker were having a long talk. I heard the door slam, and assumed that this worker had left. So I yelled out, "Hey dad what were you talking about? Did you talk slowly so the idiot could understand?" Turns out my dad was the one who had walked out. FML

agreeclassic 7 882

vote type 1 68 249

By Anonymous - 26/09/2014 20:00 - United States - Schaumburg

Today, I got back home from work and casually asked my dad, "What's up?" He casually replied, "Wishing I'd had a son instead." and stared glassy-eyed at me until I left the room. FML

agreeclassic 37 039

vote type 1 3 047

By Evan Chong - 13/07/2011 14:48 - Canada

Today, I went to a concert with a friend of mine. When his dad came to pick him up, I walked towards the car, expecting a ride. His dad told me he didn't have time to drive me home. I'm his neighbour. FML

agreeclassic 44 327

vote type 1 4 389

Hey!

By Richocet - this FML is from back in 2009 but it's good stuff - Canada

Today, I was walking home from piano lessons when I saw my dad on a bike, so I shouted after him. He turned his head around and then ran into a tree. It wasn't my dad. FML

agreeclassic 22 352

vote type 1 36 635

Not on the weekend

By jtaylor94 - this FML is from back in 2009 but it's good stuff - Canada

Today, my dad's boss called our house and I answered. He said, "Is your dad home?" I replied, "I'll go check." I put the phone on mute and asked my dad if he wanted to talk to his boss. My dad says, "Does that asshole not have a life?" Turns out the phone wasn't on mute, it was on speaker. FML

agreeclassic 19 504

vote type 1 43 177

By Anonymous - 22/04/2009 14:09 - Hong Kong

Today, my mum and I were walking down a road where we met an old neighbour who recently got divorced. Her son who we hadn't seen for about 10 years was with her and he looked very handsome. I said, "oh wow ! your son has grown up so much !" The woman replied, "this is my boyfriend." FML

agreeclassic 48 555

vote type 1 8 963

Close to me

By Furnando - 06/01/2023 00:00

Today, I called my dad asking him to wish me a happy birthday. Yay. FML

agreeclassic 754

vote type 1 1 164

Mostly OK

By dxl - 18/02/2009 08:55 - United States

Today, I told my parents how grateful I am for having them in my life and that not many kids are as lucky as me. My mom texted me after I went out 10 minutes later: "Are you OK? You seemed depressed earlier." FML

agreeclassic 36 299

vote type 1 5 548

jfigley 5

Friday 11 September 2020 12:40

I dont understand. What did I just read?

samsonity 5

Friday 11 September 2020 10:27

What kind of person are you

Comments

samsonity 5

Friday 11 September 2020 10:27

What kind of person are you

jfigley 5

Friday 11 September 2020 12:40

I dont understand. What did I just read?

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Today, after I took up a job to design a website for a company, I had everything done… but they went with someone else. Their boss's nephew made a site that looks like it was pulled from late '90s GeoCities site, and is full of spelling errors and broken links. They paid him $5000 for this. FML

agreeclassic 519

vote type 1 104

Today, my dad had a chat with my fiancé, telling him he can do better than me, and to think carefully before going through with our wedding. FML

agreeclassic 48 378

vote type 1 4 250

Today, my boss bitched me out for accepting a fake £100 note. It was a genuine note, but he couldn't believed someone would actually use such a note at a KFC. When I protested, he took it further and deducted the “lost profits” from my pay. The man is an asshole. FML

agreeclassic 1 236

vote type 1 121

Today, my mom told me how happy she is that I'm living with her. No wait, that was a month ago. Now she tells me it’s “bad timing” that I'm living with her while she potentially has a new boyfriend, because things like me demanding that people tidy up after themselves might upset him. FML

agreeclassic 891

vote type 1 165

Today, I went to my insurance company to deal with some paperwork. One of their employees backed into my car before I made it into the building. FML

agreeclassic 45 888

vote type 1 2 997

Today, I went to the movies with the guy I have been in love with for a long time. I laid my head on his shoulder and he held my hand throughout the movie. Afterwards he asked me for advice on the girl he likes. Apparently she isn't talking to him anymore. FML

agreeclassic 37 375

vote type 1 3 296