Kids, Poopoo peepee, Gross, Gifts and Cute: Best gift ever

Best gift ever

By Vanessa - 04/02/2023 00:00 - United States

Today, my toddler gave me what I thought was a ball of melted chocolate. I held it and sniffed it to be sure… It was a freaking ball of her poop. FML

agreeclassic 784

vote type 1 236

Back to school
Is that it, have we really enjoyed the holidays? It's time to find the best back-to-school struggles. More…

Previous FML Next FML

Similar FMLs

Best gift ever

By Anonymous - 16/09/2020 22:01 - Australia - Traralgon

Today, my toddler handed me a present and told me to keep it forever. It was a piece of dog poo. FML

agreeclassic 1 121

vote type 1 220

By Anonymous - 16/10/2017 01:30

Today, my 1-year-old son walked up to me with a disgusted look on his face. I could tell he had something in his mouth so I pulled it out. He'd been sucking on a piece of cat poop. FML

agreeclassic 3 912

vote type 1 478

Charming...

By Anonymous - 01/06/2018 15:00

Today, my toddler is starting to realize when she has a dirty diaper. How do I know? She walked up to me with a shit covered hand, saying "Poop Mommy! Poop!!" FML

agreeclassic 3 384

vote type 1 408

By Lisaa918 - 10/06/2009 14:49 - United States

Today, my two year old daughter was playing in the kitchen. I went to go have a look and she was pretend cooking. When I asked what she was making she said "look mommy, chocolate!" and stuck her finger in my mouth. It wasn't chocolate. FML

agreeclassic 69 215

vote type 1 6 192

Chocolate chip

By Anonymous - 29/11/2019 14:00

Today, I was eating chocolate chip cookies around the house and saw a chocolate chip on the floor. Not wanting my dog to eat it, given that chocolate is poisonous for dogs, I swiped it up with my finger and put it to my mouth. It was then that I realized it was a stub of my dog's poop. FML

agreeclassic 947

vote type 1 2 924

Misunderstood artist

By poop eater - 10/03/2023 00:00

Today, my son drew a picture of me eating. When I demanded to know why he had drawn me eating poop, he starting crying and said, “It was meant to be chocolate!” FML

agreeclassic 234

vote type 1 1 492

Natural selection

By Anonymous - 29/11/2024 13:00 - Canada - Minnedosa

Today, while eating dinner, my child picked up a piece of their chicken off the floor and put it in their mouth. It wasn’t until during bath time did I realize it wasn't chicken but poop that fell out of their diaper. FML

agreeclassic 199

vote type 1 419

Child's play

By Misbah Akhtar - 21/11/2020 12:59 - United Kingdom - Plymouth

Today, my 6 year-old brought me a card. On it was a turd belonging to my 4 year-old son. She got excited and grossed out, and threw it on the rug. FML

agreeclassic 704

vote type 1 383

Food for thought

By Michael - 20/03/2021 05:02 - United States - Lincoln

Today, while assisting my 2 year-old with potty training, she stuck her hand in her own poop, and when I wasn't expecting it, put her fingers in my mouth. Ever wondered what a green blowout tastes like? I don't have to. FML

agreeclassic 1 188

vote type 1 182

5-star meal

By storyofmylife - 15/03/2009 02:27 - United States

Today, while I was babysitting, the toddler was feeding me banana slices from her tray while I was cutting up clay for her to mold. It was all fine until she shoved something hard and crunchy into my mouth. I immediately spat it out into my hand. It was a dead cricket she found on the floor. FML

agreeclassic 66 661

vote type 1 10 791

FluffythePink 23

Saturday 4 February 2023 18:23

This is why I would adopt house trained kids.

lexxiasaurus 28

Monday 6 February 2023 19:31

good thing you did the smell test first. she could have played it off and you would have ate shit 🤣🤣

Comments

RichardPencil 30

Saturday 4 February 2023 6:10

Sounds like a... ...shitty situation.

SirEnigM0nk 22

Saturday 4 February 2023 15:42

Eww...that sure ain't no milk dud.

spinningrecords 14

Saturday 4 February 2023 17:45

…a gift

FluffythePink 23

Saturday 4 February 2023 18:23

This is why I would adopt house trained kids.

lexxiasaurus 28

Monday 6 February 2023 19:31

good thing you did the smell test first. she could have played it off and you would have ate shit 🤣🤣

VDM sur Facebook

Keywords

Miscellaneous Stalker My ex Coworkers Love Internet Relatable AITA Pokémon Awkward Work Kids Parenting Annoying Shopping Underwear Jealousy Parents Thief Intimacy Suspicious Sex Family NSFW Birthday Gifts I need your advice Accident Abuse Moving home

Top

Today, the door to my daughter's room became jammed and wouldn't open while she was in the room. Being resourceful, I grabbed my ladder and climbed up to her window, only to end up stuck in her window. I'm not sure what was worse, getting stuck, or being laughed at by my neighbors for a while. FML

agreeclassic 26 194

vote type 1 8 692

Today, it started off as a good day, until my guy friend called me in the middle of me turning my vibrator on. He was crying so I couldn’t finish. FML

agreeclassic 677

vote type 1 846

Today, I accidentally hit "Reply All" on an email complaining about the office thermostat being too cold. My boss replied, "It’s cold because I control it." FML

agreeclassic 145

vote type 1 459

Today, I went to the doctor's to find out why I was producing small amounts of milky liquid from my nipples, even though I'm not pregnant. When she asked me to show her, I squirted on her shirt. FML

agreeclassic 5 149

vote type 1 500

Today, I was home alone, so for fun I put red lipstick on. A few minutes later, my doorbell rang. I managed to get it off before I got the door. I saw my neighbor, and had a long conversation with him. After which, I came inside and realized I had lipstick all over my teeth. FML

agreeclassic 1 431

vote type 1 798

Today, I told the woman that I've had a crush on for some time how I felt. She laughed so hard that water sprayed from her nose and hit me in the face. FML

agreeclassic 33 629

vote type 1 2 924

Similar FMLs

TOP COMMENTS

Comments