Bananarama By wtfisthisworldcomingto - This FML is from back in 2011 but it's good stuff Today, I was mugged. The guy mugging me was eating a banana. FML I agree, your life sucks 37 882 You deserved it 7 510 Share Tweet Share
Today, I was awoken by the sound of my dorm roommate having sex three feet from me. He was sober, knew I was there, and has a deployed military girlfriend. FML I agree, your life sucks 2 533 You deserved it 241
Today, I was forced to listen to a client rant about her lackluster sexual encounters with her husband. I was also given a rather detailed description of his manhood. Apparently, it's small. FML I agree, your life sucks 26 026 You deserved it 2 644
Today, I found out that what I thought could be a life-threatening issue causing me chest pains was only because I over-obsessed about it. Now not only do I have social anxiety, but I get so anxious I can create fake illnesses. FML I agree, your life sucks 24 679 You deserved it 6 390
Today, after almost four years of having avoided her due to her hatred of my husband, my mother invited us both to a family dinner. My husband wanted to give her another chance, so we went. Less than an hour after arriving, I caught her hocking a loogie and spitting it into our food. FML I agree, your life sucks 30 565 You deserved it 1 988
Today, I was having sex with my girlfriend when she says "Don't cum in me, my husband has plans for later." FML I agree, your life sucks 3 309 You deserved it 1 034
Today, my girlfriend furiously bitched me out because I got more upset about my phone screen cracking than when she told me about the death of her cat. We hadn't even met when her cat died. Did she expect me to burst into tears from hearing the story? Guess who's single again… FML I agree, your life sucks 24 171 You deserved it 3 459
did he stab you with the banana?
That's important information. Tell the cops to search for banana breath.