Bananarama By wtfisthisworldcomingto - This FML is from back in 2011 but it's good stuff Today, I was mugged. The guy mugging me was eating a banana. FML I agree, your life sucks 37 882 You deserved it 7 510 Share Tweet Share
Today, was my wedding day and I had been preparing my speech for my husband for about 3 months. At the wedding, I poured my heart out to him. Did he do the same? My husband forgot about it and right before the wedding, took his from his first marriage and changed the name. FML I agree, your life sucks 45 099 You deserved it 4 194
Today, I stopped by the gun store to pick up a new concealed weapon for protection. As I was leaving the store, a man came up behind me, hit me with a crowbar, and stole my gun. FML I agree, your life sucks 38 228 You deserved it 14 800
Today, I was walking to work when I noticed a cute guy ahead of me. He turned into every single street that I needed to take, and I started to worry he might think I was following him. Just as I was about to overtake him and prove I wasn't a creep, he turned into the building where I work. He's the new intern. Now I have to avoid eye contact for the rest of my life. FML I agree, your life sucks 299 You deserved it 253
Today, I was in the car with my friends. A techno song came on and we started fist-pumping. We hit a bump, I fist-pumped myself in the face, and crashed into a stop sign. FML I agree, your life sucks 13 149 You deserved it 54 021
Today, it's been 10 months of a sexless marriage. Also my 10-month wedding anniversary. We waited until marriage, and she hasn't wanted me since. FML I agree, your life sucks 1 644 You deserved it 323
Today, when approaching a stop light on my motorcycle, I went to extend my left leg as usual to balance when stopped. Apparently my shoelace loop got wrapped around the shift lever and "tied" my shoe to the bike. It's hard to look cool when you fall over for no apparent reason at a stoplight. FML I agree, your life sucks 37 700 You deserved it 7 736
did he stab you with the banana?
That's important information. Tell the cops to search for banana breath.