School, Awkward and Love: Assumptions - FML

Assumptions

By Crappyfayman - this FML is from back in 2010 but it's good stuff - United States

Today, someone gave me a note to pass along to a girl in class. The note had the girl's name surrounded by hearts. When I gave it to her, she assumed it was a love note from me, and said, "Not in a million years, fat ass!" before I could say it was from someone else. FML

agreeclassic 37 330

vote type 1 3 711

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Next

TOP COMMENTS

Astraea 0

Tuesday 23 February 2010 9:11

oh that sucks really. Im sorry for you you should have punched her in the face.

jayjaysmokerson 0

Tuesday 23 February 2010 9:14

you should have told that bitch to suck it.

Comments

dcea 17

Thursday 5 January 2017 7:25

I laughed so hard at this, I'm so SO soorryy I bet you're lovely.

Billie-Jo 9

Thursday 29 April 2021 15:13

She sounds like a major ****, I feel bad the the guy who ends up with her.

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Keywords

Miscellaneous Stalker My ex Coworkers Love Internet Relatable AITA Pokémon Awkward Work Parenting Kids Annoying Shopping Underwear Jealousy Parents Thief Sex Intimacy Suspicious Family NSFW Birthday Gifts I need your advice Accident Abuse Moving home

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Today, my mother, who religiously checks her bank account after every purchase, then shreds her receipts, got fed up with me not doing the same. So she shredded all my piled up receipts. These include the 100s of dollars I had spent for my work, which I need the receipts to get reimbursed for. FML

agreeclassic 45 357

vote type 1 3 321

Today, trying to be a little fun and flirty, I asked my husband if he wanted to play strip poker. He replied, "Nah. Not much fun with just two people." Not sure if he’s suggesting swinging or if he's really just that dense to what I wanted. FML

agreeclassic 1 687

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Today, the new guy at work who’s been flirting with me outrageously found out I’m newly-divorced, with a baby daughter. He ghosted me so fast and started outrageously flirting with someone else in our office, who by the way he checked to make sure she doesn’t have kids first. FML

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Today, it was my first day working at a milking parlor. As I crouched behind a cow to put on an udder cluster, I looked up and gasped just in time for the cow to crap on my face. FML

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Today, I said to my wife that I wished I had met her 20 years ago. Her response was, "Twenty years ago I had beautiful tits and many options, I wouldn't have even looked at you." FML

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Today, we were having a family get together at my house. Because of this, I had to mow our lawn to make sure it looked nice. I got a little bored and decided it would be funny to cut a rather large penis into my yard. Right when I'd finished, I ran out of gas. My 83 year-old grandmother saw. FML

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