Work, Sex and Intimacy: All sexed up

All sexed up

By Anonymous - 24/10/2010 07:31 - United States

Today, I found dried cum in my hair - after being at work for two hours. FML

agreeclassic 16 292

vote type 1 48 362

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He enjoyed himself way too much

By Galo - 30/01/2022 19:58

Today, I had to clean cum from one of the seats of the movie theater where I work at as a cleaner. FML

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Not what you think

By Anonymous - 28/05/2023 06:00

Today, I was running late to work so I started getting dressed and brushing my teeth. I got to work 5 minutes late, which is when noticed a toothpaste stain on my shirt. I thought it looked identical to a cum stain, and the worst part was I was wearing black, so it was noticeable. FML

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By Anonymous - 21/06/2013 04:44 - United States - Vancouver

Today, my boss held my hair while I threw up. It's day two on the job. FML

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Dribble drizzle

By Anonymous - 02/05/2025 22:00 - United States - Chicago

Today, I took a quick nap in my car during my lunch break. When I woke up, I had drooled all over myself and had a large wet stain on my shirt. I tried to pretend it was a "sweat stain" but ended up walking into a meeting looking like I'd been caught in a downpour of my own making. FML

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Great look

By Anonymous - 12/11/2021 17:00

Today, I had a conversation with my work crush. I walked back to my office, only to realize I had breakfast in my hair. I had oatmeal for breakfast, and it looked like puke. FML

agreeclassic 795

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Disgusting

By SnotScrubber - 05/04/2024 07:00 - United States - Tulsa

Today, I was idly scratching gunk off the common computer while waiting for a meeting to start. It wasn't until the end that I realized it was dried snot. FML

agreeclassic 426

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By g_unit - 10/12/2009 05:24 - Canada

Today, at work, I went to fold a pair of pants that was left in a changing room to find out that someone had taken a dump in them. FML

agreeclassic 37 674

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Bad hair day

By ewwgross - 20/05/2011 23:29 - United States

Today, at my hairdressing job, my first client of the day came in for a cut. Her hair smelled awful, and when I asked her why, she informed me that she'd gotten trashed with some friends the night before, and one of them had puked in her hair. She came to me to get it cleaned out. FML

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By notmine - 20/04/2014 02:39 - India - New Delhi

Today, I work at a food joint as a chef, and a customer found a long strand of hair in her food. The manager blamed me, even though I'm bald. FML

agreeclassic 48 743

vote type 1 3 552

By RetailJocky - 15/08/2017 13:00

Today, at work, a bag of driveway repair tar split and spilled on my arms and hands. Not only does it stain and pull out any arm hair it touches, the stains also look like I was playing in dog poop. FML

agreeclassic 3 426

vote type 1 300

smokeymcpottt 3

Sunday 24 October 2010 16:14

He tried to get your hair pregnant.

UnicornsDoExist 0

Sunday 24 October 2010 16:57

There's this thing called a shower. It's new and everything, but t does work.

Comments

luvpinks 0

Monday 8 November 2010 7:54

shower b4 work

roomforactivitie 2

Thursday 9 December 2010 8:36

you're clearly a prostitute, that explains everything

GodofCarnage 10

Saturday 18 December 2010 23:20

This made my day.

Trencher21 0

Wednesday 29 December 2010 5:18

that reminds me of a shane dawson vid hmmm

fmlfails 0

Wednesday 6 April 2011 13:41

skill shot lol

adiberkeley 0

Friday 27 May 2011 16:01

someone is sanding you a message "**** your hair" or your hair is slot and was making sex and you didn't notice !

yeehaw1981 0

Friday 10 June 2011 23:40

now that's funnykinda

norarabe 0

Friday 17 June 2011 0:51

YDI. Don't u shower?

blob619 0

Tuesday 6 September 2011 5:33

One thing scares me are u a boy or a girl 0.0

tressie_fml 6

Saturday 28 July 2012 3:31

Well, were you whoring around?

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Keywords

Miscellaneous Stalker My ex Coworkers Love Internet Relatable AITA Pokémon Awkward Work Parenting Kids Annoying Shopping Underwear Jealousy Parents Thief Suspicious Sex Intimacy Family NSFW Birthday Gifts I need your advice Accident Abuse Moving home

Top

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Today, in the middle of the store, my daughter pointed at my belly and loudly announced that she was going to have a brother. I'm a man, and apparently I need to lose weight. FML

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vote type 1 5 956

Today, my house got egged. Why? As a joke, my friend bought me a doormat that says, "A Canadian Lives Here." I'm Canadian. FML

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Today, my boyfriend showed me his penis for the first time. All I could think to say was, "That's a clean circumcision." FML

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Today, if I was watching my life as a movie, I'd be thinking: "Come on, it is SO obvious that this will be a story about some gods having a bet about how fast they can get this woman to kill herself, and whether big things like health problems work best, or rather constant small annoyances." FML

agreeclassic 352

vote type 1 143