Kids

Unreasonable demands

By why? - 12/04/2020 17:00

Today, my close friend who’s always been incredibly vocal about how much she hates children, never wants to be around them or have anything to do with them, stopped speaking to me. She’s incredibly "hurt" that I asked another friend to be my unborn child's godmother instead of her. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 220

You deserved it 196

By InnocenceBlue - 01/08/2019 12:00

Today, as always, my mother hates my life choices. Particularly my hair for some reason. As she's always whinging about it being dyed blonde, I dyed it back to my natural colour again to appease her, and stop the constant bullying. She hates it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 726

You deserved it 221

By I write sins not other people's essays - 12/05/2016 03:13 - United States - King George

Today, my mom woke me up in the middle of the night to make me help my brother write an essay. I read what he wrote so far, gave him my suggestions, and went back to bed. She woke me up 30 mins later because he just sat and stared at his paper instead of fixing anything. Somehow that's my fault. FML

I agree, your life sucks 15 104

You deserved it 1 065

By Anonymous - 22/12/2013 19:10 - Israel

Today, I asked my lazy daughter to go make her bed. She responded by lighting our garbage bin on fire. FML

I agree, your life sucks 44 610

You deserved it 10 204

No thanks!

By Anonymous - 01/03/2024 10:00 - Australia

Today, my boyfriend told me that he has a secret love child, but that its mother had passed. I'm supposed to now raise this kid? FML

I agree, your life sucks 655

You deserved it 121

By Pokecousin - 27/12/2016 17:45

Today, I had to explain to my Pokemon-obsessed 6-year-old cousin that Albinos are not "Shiny People". FML

I agree, your life sucks 6 717

You deserved it 553

One simple trick

By Anonymous - 02/01/2024 19:00 - United Kingdom

Today, on holiday with family, it is now abundantly clear to me that being the oldest teenager I was only brought along as free babysitter for 8 cousins, all under 10 years-old, while the adults lounge by the pool, buffet, or hotel bar. I’m exhausted. I want to go home. FML

I agree, your life sucks 872

You deserved it 154

By superfkd - 15/03/2009 02:27 - Canada

Today, I was teaching a swimming lesson to 6-7 year old boys and girls. I recently broke up with my boyfriend so I haven't been taking care of my bikini line. While I was demonstrating how to do a whip-kick out of the water one of the boys said, "You have a beard coming out of your bathing suit!" FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 938

You deserved it 70 285

No filter

By Judiee - 28/02/2009 10:52 - United States

Today, I was introduced to my boyfriend's family at a family reunion for the first time. As I sat on the couch, his 4 year-old sister comes in and jumps onto my lap. For a moment I was happy to think his sister liked me, only to hear her say, "You're fat! I like fat things." FML

I agree, your life sucks 56 914

You deserved it 5 782

By Anonymous - 03/05/2012 11:37 - Australia

Today, I called my mum, crying because of my low self-esteem. She interrupted my sobs by saying, "Can I hang up now? The phone's getting hot." FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 130

You deserved it 6 060

Kids will be kids

By sillydad - 29/09/2023 20:00 - Australia - Perth

Today, I finally found out my suspicions about my 12 year-old daughter were correct, and I don’t know which one is worse: She's had a boyfriend and has denied it for the last 3 months, or the fact that my partner thought it was a good idea to let it go on for this long without telling me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 385

You deserved it 754

Everybody wants to be a cat

By azouwa - 29/07/2017 05:00

Today, I caught my 10 year-old in the closet, naked, on his hands and knees, eating cat food straight from the bag. He'd torn a hole in the side of the bag, cat food was everywhere. We have plenty of food in the house, but he wants to be a cat. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 939

You deserved it 530

Baby mama drama

By Anonymous - 05/05/2021 14:02

Today, I kind of wished I'd never become a stepmom. I didn't know what I was getting into. When one of the kids' moms stops making life hard, the other picks up. I love the kids with all my heart, but it's starting to hurt me. I can't give 100% because I'm reminded I'm "not their real mom." FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 207

You deserved it 227

By Aliya - 01/03/2009 14:14 - United States

Today, I was eating nacho chips with my nieces when I started to feel that some were wet. I look at my niece and notice she was sucking on the chips, and putting them back in the bag. FML

I agree, your life sucks 54 295

You deserved it 6 946

By Anonymous - 07/11/2015 14:58 - United States - Niles

Today, my mother had to ask me when my birthday was, because she gets it confused with the day she bought our old car. FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 966

You deserved it 1 710

The trail

By Anonymous - 10/01/2010 10:45 - Canada

Today, I was wondering why my home smelled so weird, until I found out that my 4 year old son had been secretly scattering around food he didn't like to eat throughout the house. How did I find out? No one else in this family leaves half eaten spinach all over my underwear drawer. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 887

You deserved it 3 901

By Anonymous - 19/05/2011 23:05 - Canada

Today, I took my 6 year old son to meet our new neighbours. When we got home he packed his bags and headed for the door. Once he reached the door, I asked where he was going. He replied, "To the neighbours'. They have a bigger television." FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 637

You deserved it 4 976

By shh - 09/10/2015 07:06 - United States - Scottsdale

Today, during dinner with my wife's family, my daughter suddenly yelled, "DADDY TICKLES MOMMY'S BUM BUM!" I don't think I've ever received dirtier glares in my life. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 590

You deserved it 2 788

Bursting with joy

By Anonymous - 09/04/2024 19:00 - United Kingdom

Today, I got home and found out that, because of a burst pipe in their house, my husband's brother's family had moved in. They agreed to only smoke outside, but it’s on their clothes so the house already stinks of cigarettes, and their kids have already broken two things, a plate and the fridge door handle. FML

I agree, your life sucks 570

You deserved it 105

By blueberry_hill - 11/12/2010 16:16 - United States

Today, my thirteen month old son woke me up at 6AM on my day off, by punching me in the eye. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 810

You deserved it 6 137

By trashcanned - 06/04/2009 11:47 - United States

Today, it was really windy and rainy causing me to trip and knock into a little kid. While still gathering myself, I apologized and patted the kid on its head. Then I see people around me starting to laugh. I turn and look at the kid, and discover I've been interacting with a trash can. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 781

You deserved it 52 241

Ivy league

By WasteOMoney - 04/07/2011 01:50 - United States

Today, my son called me from medical school, asking for a new phone. Why? Because he dropped it in the toilet. How? Trying to take a video of his anus while taking a dump. I pay $80,000 a year just to hear he took a dump on his phone. FML

I agree, your life sucks 44 832

You deserved it 6 283

No means no, Deborah

By Anonymous - 15/08/2023 16:00 - United States - Lafayette

Today, it's my birthday. A month ago, I'd told everyone I invited to my party that it was going to be adults only. One of my friends brought her kids with her anyway, then started screaming and trashing the place when I politely asked her to leave. The cops had to be called to finally get her out of my house. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 121

You deserved it 119

By younggirl101 - 05/08/2014 16:51 - Canada - Kamloops

Today, I found out that if you wake your 7-year old sister up by plugging her nose, you'll wake up the next morning, taped down and unable to move as she pours ice water on you. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 700

You deserved it 57 627

Awkward beyond belief tells us more.

Awkward beyond belief 14

Sunday 28 September 2014 19:00

Hey guys, just a quick follow up. Turns out she had help from my dad who grew up with four brothers that had huge pranking wars. I'm going to stop it at this. No more pranking. And I agree. She should've got this on tape then I could give you guys the link and prove I did the ice bucket challenge. (Sort of) thanks!

By Spooderman - 04/02/2016 02:04 - United States

Today, my son wanted to be Spiderman. He found the biggest spider he could outside and let it bite his hand. He's staying overnight in the hospital. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 839

You deserved it 2 487

By flustered - 06/05/2012 14:57 - United States - Rapid City

Today, my son tried to swat a fly with a hammer. Our apartment walls are now littered with dents and holes. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 599

You deserved it 4 791

Micromanagement

By Anonymous - 19/11/2024 13:00 - United Kingdom - City of Westminster

Today, I’m 15 and my mother banned me from watching YouTube because it’s "distracting." What the f***? How? Now I have to pretend that I've watched the things my friends send me so they won’t know. FML

I agree, your life sucks 175

You deserved it 534

By meep - 23/12/2009 16:05 - United States

Today, I found out where my $300 worth of American Eagle and Hollister clothes had disappeared to. My 16 year old sister shredded them with scissors, took pictures of it for her Myspace and said that I deserved it for being a "conformist." All her "internet friends" said it was awesome. FML

I agree, your life sucks 40 803

You deserved it 12 335

By fuckmylife - 02/02/2010 20:30 - United States

Today, I had to explain to my son that his dad was too busy in a raid on World of Warcraft to be at his award ceremony. FML

I agree, your life sucks 53 477

You deserved it 39 402

By Anonymous - 03/10/2016 23:50 - United States - Westerville

Today, the family computer kept overheating. My four-year-old son thought the solution was to pour a nice, cold cup of water on it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 041

You deserved it 1 249

1
2
3
4
5
6
7
8
9
10

FML on Facebook

Keywords

Miscellaneous Stalker My ex Coworkers Love Internet Relatable AITA Pokémon Awkward Work Parenting Kids Annoying Shopping Underwear Jealousy Parents Thief Sex Intimacy Suspicious Family NSFW Birthday Gifts I need your advice Accident Abuse Moving home

The Top

The Top

Today, while trying to rouse my sleeping boyfriend for some morning sex, he came. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 603

You deserved it 6 841

Today, I was both sexting with my girlfriend and texting my professor about an upcoming essay. I accidentally sent a dickpic to my professor. FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 392

You deserved it 40 133

Today, my father in law drunkenly announced at dinner that he wished my husband had married my best friend. No one stuck up for me. Not even my husband. FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 497

You deserved it 3 392

Today, it’s my birthday. My boyfriend of almost 4 years completely forgot. FML

I agree, your life sucks 974

You deserved it 124

Today, after being hella single through this pandemic, I was gently stopped by an attractive man on my way to the bus stop. He looked deep into my eyes, and I took my headphones out so I could hear him better. Then, he started moving nervously, took a breath… and offered me meth, before tweaking away. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 023

You deserved it 125

Today, I was fired from my job at a local family-ran restaurant. The Reason? The owner's daughter has been stealing money from the register little by little and has blamed me for all the lost money. The boss is still convinced it's me, though, because his daughter would "never tell a lie". FML

I agree, your life sucks 52 615

You deserved it 2 524