Insects

Pest control

By Anonymous - 11/05/2025 15:00 - United States

Today, I realized I’m living with a complete moron. I moved in thinking it was gonna be smooth but nope. Dude thought it was okay to put mothballs INSIDE THE FUCKING HOUSE to help with roaches. Who the fuck does that? FML

I agree, your life sucks 154

You deserved it 443

Nature finds a way

By Anonymous - 13/04/2023 18:00 - United Kingdom - Brighton

Today, I decided to take a nap in the park. I found a nice shady spot and closed my eyes. When I woke up, I realized I had fallen asleep on an ant hill. My entire body was riddled with ants. FML

I agree, your life sucks 687

You deserved it 467

Creepy crawlies

By Cockroachphobic - 04/04/2020 14:00

Today, I found out that the small bugs I've been blowing off my pillow all year are in fact baby cockroaches. I discover this when I found two full grown ones crawling around and decided to Google it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 462

You deserved it 928

Freak out

By Anonymous - 06/06/2020 02:00

Today, we ended the night with a yellow jacket queen trying to make a home in our apartment's kitchen. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 322

You deserved it 103

Suspicious

By SEND HELP - 09/11/2022 19:00 - United States

Today, I keep killing flies in my room, probably dozens on a daily basis, and yet every day there seems to be more of them. I have to sleep backwards in my bed so the droning of the fan drowns out the buzzing noise, or else I can't sleep. Even then, I sometimes jump awake when one lands on my ear, which is often. FML

I agree, your life sucks 731

You deserved it 201

Invasion

By Aaaaahhhhhhhh - This FML is from back in 2018 but it's good stuff

Today, I came home to carpenter ants coming out from under my baseboards. I went out and bought bait traps and now there are flying ants coming out of the woodwork. If I try to sleep, they crawl on me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 486

You deserved it 244

Fun day for all

By Alicia - This FML is from back in 2010 but it's good stuff - United States

Today, my friends and I had a long fun day at the river. That was until sundown. I now have mosquito bites in places you don't want to know. FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 198

You deserved it 11 545

Wasps can **** right off

By Ohthepain - 31/03/2023 14:00

Today, I got back home to my completely locked-up apartment after a long and stressful family visit. On digging through my nice clean clothes for something comfy to change into, I was set upon and stung by a great dirty wasp hiding in there. How the fuck did it get in? Are there more of them in here with me?! FML

I agree, your life sucks 753

You deserved it 135

Those things freak me out

By Gilly - 02/09/2023 08:00 - United Kingdom

Today, I was cooking dinner when I noticed a cockroach on the kitchen counter. I reflexively tried to spray it with what I had to hand, which was window cleaner, but it seems to have pissed it off and flew right at me instead. I screamed and ran out of the kitchen, leaving the roach in charge. FML

I agree, your life sucks 351

You deserved it 499

Really bugs me

By Anonymous - 22/06/2021 06:00

Today, most people don’t realize how relaxing it is to poop on an indoor toilet. As in, being able to do your business in peace without having to keep mosquitoes from landing on your private parts. FML

I agree, your life sucks 797

You deserved it 123

Get this off me!

By lovebuglovebirds - 08/07/2024 18:00 - United States - Johnson City

Today, as I was breastfeeding my daughter, I looked over and there was a big tick sucking my armpit away. I just started screaming, "Help! Help!" FML

I agree, your life sucks 453

You deserved it 139

By Shinobi_3 - 26/02/2010 17:43 - United States

Today, while I was eating, a fly kept pissing me off. After three minutes of it buzzing around, I caught it and killed it. Then, without realizing it, I smeared its guts all over the front of my shirt. FML

I agree, your life sucks 7 840

You deserved it 29 342

Our insect overlords

By Anonymous - 18/12/2020 10:58

Today, something flew up the back of my shorts while I was at work. I now have itchy hot welts the size of my palm coating the back and inside of both my upper thighs. FML

I agree, your life sucks 937

You deserved it 77

A visitor

By Anonymous - 24/03/2023 12:00 - Germany - Leer

Today, I had a walk-in: a tiny tick, crawling through my bathroom window, looking down at me in the shower, wondering whether I might be tasty. The window was closed, by the way. FML

I agree, your life sucks 665

You deserved it 115

The spirit world

By ElixirRose - This FML is from back in 2011 but it's good stuff - United States

Today, I killed a centipede. Now every little itch I feel, I think it's the centipede's spirit coming back to haunt me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 18 708

You deserved it 47 081

Nope, no thanks

By Anonymous - 17/07/2024 05:00 - United States - Arlington Heights

Today, my boyfriend's mom is talking shit about me to anyone who will listen, all because I refused to stay at her house and help her with a few chores she said she would pay me for. She keeps leaving out the part where I saw dozens of bed bugs not even 5 minutes after I got there. FML

I agree, your life sucks 530

You deserved it 108

Run for the hills

By Stung - 03/08/2009 21:57 - United States

Today, I found out that bees like to make hives in odd places, like in your vintage car's trunk. I also found out that they don't like it when you break their hive in half when you open the trunk to get out a spare tire. FML

I agree, your life sucks 51 185

You deserved it 4 267

Get away from me!

By Bobby The Baker - 03/04/2019 16:00

Today, a cockroach flew towards me, and out of panic I dropped my car keys in the sewer. Not only did I lose my keys, but the cake I made for a client is stuck inside the car. It's for a wedding, and they're arriving in the reception area in a few minutes. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 179

You deserved it 486

Sexy time

By Anonymous - This FML is from back in 2016 but it's good stuff

Today, I woke up to my balls being sucked on. Unfortunately, it was by a mosquito. I hate the summer. FML

I agree, your life sucks 17 212

You deserved it 1 782

Wailing

By katchoo - 03/11/2013 07:34 - Denmark

Today, I had a panic attack when a huge spider ran over my hand. I screamed, wailed, and killed it with a shoe while shouting. Ten minutes later, police slammed on my door. My neighbor called them, saying it sounded like someone was being murdered. FML

I agree, your life sucks 47 614

You deserved it 8 506

Easily scared

By Anonymous - 17/02/2022 17:59 - France

Today, I was having some sexy time with my boyfriend, when suddenly he jumped out of the bed, screaming. Not having my glasses on, it took me few seconds to understand that a voyeurist cockroach was in the bed with us. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 315

You deserved it 176

By Anonymous - 10/08/2010 16:34 - United States

Today, I woke up to find a tick stuck to my eyelashes. The only way I know of to get it off is with fire. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 473

You deserved it 6 920

Ouchies

By Anonymous - 04/10/2015 23:34 - United States - San Francisco

Today, I was stung by a wasp. Startled, I stumbled and grabbed a nearby tree branch to regain my balance. The branch happened to be the location of the wasp's nest, which fell to the ground and split open. The wasps weren't happy. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 343

You deserved it 1 963

Night visitor

By Anonymous - 08/11/2021 14:00 - New Zealand

Today, I woke up in the middle of the night to go pee. While in the bathroom, I felt something move inside my shirt but just ignored it, thinking it was my shirt brushing on something. Something moved again. I ripped my shirt off to reveal a massive cockroach inside my shirt. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 414

You deserved it 150

What is happening?

By Anonymous - 04/06/2025 09:00 - United States

Today, it's been three days since I noticed mysterious bumps on my arms, on the same day my dad, who I lived with, petted dogs and might've brought in fleas. The first two days were harmless skin conditions. The third day was bug bites. They always appeared overnight when I slept and they weren't bed bugs, I checked. FML

I agree, your life sucks 328

You deserved it 82

Release the bees!

By Anonymous - 01/10/2023 10:00 - Germany

Today, as I was sitting on my terrace, I was wearing neither bright colors, nor any perfume, yet two bees seemed convinced that I must've been some type of flower and persistently tried to figure out where I was hiding my nectar. FML

I agree, your life sucks 587

You deserved it 117

Those pesky little *****

By Anonymous - 28/07/2024 06:00 - United States

Today, I was stung by a red wasp. While my husband heroically killed it, I, the person terrified of wasps after being swarmed as a child, collapsed, sobbed, screamed, and almost vomited from sheer terror. Give me snakes, spiders, insects galore and I am fine. Single flying asshole of doom and I turn into a child. FML

I agree, your life sucks 427

You deserved it 184

Just a tad

By concusion - This FML is from back in 2010 but it's good stuff - United States

Today, I found out the "small termite problem" the inspector told me about wasn't so small when a box from the attic fell through the floor and hit me in the head. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 132

You deserved it 3 349

The passenger

By BurnItOff - 19/04/2024 20:00 - Australia - Melbourne

Today, I thought I had a stick stuck in my hair. A very pokey stick. That aggressively bit my face when I tried to get it out of my hair. It was a big ass spider. My face feels like it's been punched. FML

I agree, your life sucks 489

You deserved it 96

Idiots

By Anonymous - 19/07/2024 13:00 - United Kingdom

Today, my husband took our son into the woods with a big stick and two tennis rackets because they'd found a hornets nest. Yes, they used the stick to poke the nest and the tennis rackets to whack the hornets, like they thought it was a game. They got swarmed and are now in hospital. Idiots. FML

I agree, your life sucks 571

You deserved it 112

FML on Facebook

Keywords

Liar Love Break-ups Cancer Money Transportation Cars Intimacy NSFW Awkward Sex Parents Divorce Miscellaneous Autism Scary Insects Health I need your advice Family Coworkers Work DIY Birthday Kids Embarrassing Clothes Teenagers School Video games

The Top

Today, I got fired from a business I ran for almost 6 years. Why? The new owner refuses to close, despite our governor ordering non-essential businesses to close, and for people to stay home. I told her I wasn’t comfortable working, and that it was technically illegal. So she fired me in a group chat. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 302

You deserved it 209

Today, I was telling a close friend about the devastating discovery of my husband’s cheating. Turns out, she may be giving my children a half-sister for Christmas. FML

I agree, your life sucks 6 730

You deserved it 366

Today, my tonsils swelled to roughly the size of golf balls. My mom refuses to take me to the hospital because she's convinced I got it from kissing someone, and until I "fess up", she's not budging. FML

I agree, your life sucks 40 983

You deserved it 3 177

Today, I went to class to take an important final for which I studied all week long and worked hard in class. Today, the teacher also told us that anyone who had an A did not have to take the final. I missed out on a trip to the Bahamas for this. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 827

You deserved it 3 483

Today, I was talking to a nice guy on a dating app and we exchanged numbers. Later, I got a call. It was his wife asking me to stop talking to her husband. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 159

You deserved it 297

Today, my kids tried to make grilled cheese by turning the toaster sideways. When all was done, it all flew out onto the kitchen floor. Both my kids and my husband left the mess there for me to clean up when I got home. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 416

You deserved it 3 272