Cute

Long day

By Anonymous - 09/09/2024 16:00 - Australia

Today, I got home after a rough day and was really looking forward to some cuddles from my cat. I opened the door and she came running toward me, which was unusual, so I knelt down to embrace her. She ran right past me to get to the tuna sandwich I'd unwittingly dropped on the floor. FML

I agree, your life sucks 185

You deserved it 339

Every day is Caturday

By I told you - 03/06/2023 11:00 - United States

Today, my parents got a cat tree for my cats. I tried to tell them it was way too small, but they ignored my protests. Lo and behold, it's way too small. My cats have already fallen down trying to get on it at least three times each. even though one of them is abnormally small. FML

I agree, your life sucks 625

You deserved it 163

Skittish

By Anonymous - 17/09/2024 22:00 - Germany

Today, I tried to surprise my boyfriend by jumping into his arms. He panicked, stepped aside, and I crashed into the couch. FML

I agree, your life sucks 134

You deserved it 509

Always read the fine print

By Anonymous - 04/02/2023 14:00

Today, I noticed that my coffee mug has a 'dishwasher safe' label. I've been hand washing it for a year. FML

I agree, your life sucks 187

You deserved it 853

NO SLEEPING ALLOWED

By BADBOYRI - 13/12/2024 18:30 - India - Chennai

Today, I fell asleep on the barber's chair so many times that he got mad and "accidentally" sprayed water on my face. FML

I agree, your life sucks 141

You deserved it 588

Kids these days

By Anonymous - This FML is from back in 2016 but it's good stuff - United States - Colorado Springs

Today, my toddler son walked up to my older daughter and kissed her chest, then said, "I kissed the boob." I have no idea where he learned that word. FML

I agree, your life sucks 10 380

You deserved it 1 139

Masters of mischief

By Anonymous - 18/07/2024 16:00 - United States - Salem

Today, my 4-year-old twin sons discovered how to lock doors. They locked me out of the house while I was taking out the trash. I had to climb through the kitchen window, which they'd generously smeared with peanut butter. FML

I agree, your life sucks 448

You deserved it 156

Sure about that?

By Anonymous - 27/05/2025 15:00 - United States

Today, I told my dad that my boyfriend and I were thinking about moving in together. Without missing a beat, he looked at my boyfriend and said, “Brave man. You sure you want to sign up for 24/7 mood swings and hair in the drain?” My boyfriend laughed. A little too hard for my liking. FML

I agree, your life sucks 297

You deserved it 315

Garage rock

By Anonymous - 14/11/2022 14:00

Today, I encouraged my husband to form a band with some of his other middle-aged friends, I just had no idea they would name their band The Wet Farts. FML

I agree, your life sucks 906

You deserved it 382

I'm gonna make you a star

By Shazz - 28/09/2024 14:00 - Canada

Today, it was brought to my attention that the cute video of my cat snoring like a warthog that I posted to Instagram was on my company’s official Instagram account instead of my personal one. No one noticed until it had been up for hours. FML

I agree, your life sucks 102

You deserved it 494

Christmas shopping spree tip

By Anonymous - 25/12/2023 08:00 - United Kingdom

Today, my husband held my hand for our entire Xmas Eve shopping trip. As soon as we got home, he and our son actually compared the receipts to last years Xmas Eve receipts, and declared it to be true that holding my hand stopped me buying so much crap, and saved over £150 compared to last year. FML

I agree, your life sucks 148

You deserved it 907

Quack quack quack!

By Anonymous - 22/01/2025 03:00 - New Zealand - Lower Hutt

Today, my son admitted that he worked out how to make a fuse in my house's fusebox blow, by turning on all the appliances and lights in the house at once. He's done it three days in a row because when the lights go out, I 'scream and act like Donald Duck, but with swearing' and it's hilarious. FML

I agree, your life sucks 396

You deserved it 194

Flustration

By Anonymous - 19/03/2023 18:00

Today, I got flustered by the gorgeous sandwich artist at Subway and ordered a “meat-long foot-ball.” On Rye of course. FML

I agree, your life sucks 644

You deserved it 267

Snuggle

By Anonymous - 22/09/2025 03:00

Today, I wanted to surprise my partner by leaving a love letter on his car's windshield while he was at work. He texted me later saying, “You know you left that on my coworker’s car, right?” Now some stranger thinks I want to “snuggle forever.” FML

I agree, your life sucks 109

You deserved it 398

Grey sweater gang rise up

By Anonymous - 13/01/2024 06:00 - Germany

Today, my partner and I went over to my mum’s for dinner. She’s not a formal person, so he wore a black fleece sweater. It was a nice, relaxed evening, until we got home and I had to attack him with the lint roller for what felt like half an hour. Yes, my mom has cats. FML

I agree, your life sucks 348

You deserved it 190

I'm OK!

By MAC. - This FML is from back in 2012 but it's good stuff - Canada - Toronto

Today, I slammed the car door on my head while I was getting in the car. If that wasn't bad enough, my boyfriend is convinced I now have a concussion and insists on waking me up every hour to make sure I'm still alive. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 473

You deserved it 6 054

Justice for Holly!

By Hollyisacat - 21/09/2024 07:00 - United States

Today, my father was serious when he said he was going to “disown Holly for being a wh*re” and getting pregnant at a young age. First of all, Holly is our cat; second, this wouldn’t have happened if my parents took her to get spayed like the vet said, and kept her inside instead of letting her roam the neighborhood. FML

I agree, your life sucks 508

You deserved it 87

Tripping

By Blank - This FML is from back in 2010 but it's good stuff - United States

Today, my new step-dad proposed to my mom during a family trip to Wal-Mart. FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 974

You deserved it 4 245

Tipping point

By Tipped off - 06/03/2025 00:00 - United States - Benson

Today, I helped a lady carry her grocery bags to her car. She was so grateful that she offered me a tip. I refused, but she insisted. When I finally took it, I looked at the bill to see she'd given me $1. I smiled and said thank you, but she looked at me like I’d just robbed her. FML

I agree, your life sucks 384

You deserved it 137

Welcome!

By Vicky - 27/02/2025 22:00 - United States - Carson City

Today, I was showing my new boyfriend around my apartment. Everything was going great until my cat decided to make his grand entrance by vomiting directly on the rug in front of him. My boyfriend paused, then said, “Well, at least he’s honest about his feelings.” FML

I agree, your life sucks 390

You deserved it 89

DIY decoration tips

By CoyoteOldOne - 12/09/2020 08:59 - United States - Denver

Today, I got an empty peanut butter jar to put my used insulin needles in so nobody gets stuck. My husband washed it for me. He also wrote all over it: "Fuck off!" "Sharp!" "Do not fucking touch!" "Go away!" "Do not fucking throw away!" Thanks, sweetie. Now it looks like a crazy guy shouting on the subway. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 180

You deserved it 323

The people of TikTok must be stopped

By Impissed - 16/02/2024 15:00 - Canada - Toronto

Today, my girlfriend brought home her fourteenth effing Stanley Cup thermos cup contraption thing. They are taking over our tiny apartment. I can't deal with this madness. FML

I agree, your life sucks 546

You deserved it 114

Cause for concern

By redneckpunk - This FML is from back in 2015 but it's good stuff - United States - Schaumburg

Today, during a date with my girlfriend, I found out you can hiccup hard enough to convince someone that you're having a seizure. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 137

You deserved it 2 782

Bitches, amirite?

By Sergeant Bri - 16/07/2023 09:00 - United States - Norwood

Today, my dog is much too fond of barking at me loudly and at length for no reason. So is my girlfriend. FML

I agree, your life sucks 624

You deserved it 299

The hunter's yowl

By Good job - 31/03/2025 20:00 - United States

Today, my cat started screaming nonstop outside my bedroom. She's never done this since she was last in heat (she's 7 1/2 years old), so I was worried. I opened the door to find that she had "killed' a mouse (a fake one, formerly attached to her cat tree) and was very proud of herself. That's cute, but… really? FML

I agree, your life sucks 301

You deserved it 182

Vengeance is mine

By Anonymous - 14/11/2023 22:00

Today, my stepson told his class that I beat his mommy. I did beat his mommy… in Pokémon. He left that detail out, and now his entire school is treating me like a monster. My wife thinks it's hilarious, and says it's her revenge for me winning. FML

I agree, your life sucks 654

You deserved it 109

Scoville

By Anonymous - 15/06/2024 02:00 - United States

Today, my boyfriend made dinner. He warned me that it was spicy, but I laughed at him and said that white guys don't know spicy. Five minutes later, I had to beg for milk, with my eyes streaming and nose pouring. Turns out I was wrong. FML

I agree, your life sucks 86

You deserved it 743

Well done!

By Anonymous - This FML is from back in 2014 but it's good stuff - United States

Today, I was at the mall with my young daughter. I hate pooping in public but I really had to go so I brought her in with me. Thinking we were alone, I started to go and my daughter yelled, "Good job Mommy, you're using the potty like a big girl!" I then heard laughing. FML

I agree, your life sucks 40 634

You deserved it 5 054

New horizons

By did I wake up in a porn? - 15/07/2024 23:00 - United States

Today, out of a desire for revenge, I went over and confronted the girl my boyfriend cheated with. Somehow, we ended up in bed together. Worse, she's amazing. I'm now seriously considering asking if we can be a throuple. FML

I agree, your life sucks 156

You deserved it 765

Freestyle

By Anonymous - 28/10/2024 22:00 - Germany - Jesteburg

Today, my dad gave a speech at my wedding. It started with, “Forty years ago, there was a tree…” and continued in the same vein about his work as a biologist. I might have been mentioned in passing. My new wife was not. FML

I agree, your life sucks 516

You deserved it 86

FML on Facebook

Keywords

Embarrassing Awkward Work AITA Parenting Kids Love Money Miscellaneous Family Funerals Relatable Social Media Wanker NSFW Porn Intimacy Alcohol Cute Garden Sex Dating Frustration Health Parents Allergies Grandparents Abuse Technology Instagram

The Top

Today, I called the company with whom I had a job interview last week, which I thought went great, but hadn't heard back from. One of the interviewers claimed that I tried to grope her. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 286

You deserved it 3 092

Today, my dad texted me, saying "My dicks so hard 4 u". I'm desperately hoping he meant to send that to his girlfriend instead. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 911

You deserved it 2 498

Today, the love of my life sent me a text saying "touch my pork". Somehow I don't think my feelings are mutual. FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 535

You deserved it 4 289

Today, I asked my boyfriend why he chose me out of all the hotter girls out there. He told me it's because I have great birthing hips. Apparently I'm having six children. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 638

You deserved it 5 721

Today, I had to say to my 23-year-old son that it's not a compliment to tell a woman that he wants to jam his cock down her throat. FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 198

You deserved it 5 745

Today, my colleague came back from vacation so I no longer have to do her job on top of mine. My bosses saw this as the perfect occasion to barge into my office every five minutes to hand me tasks. When I asked for a ten-minute break to do a task that needed concentration, they barged in again after five minutes. FML

I agree, your life sucks 453

You deserved it 95